A Seattle couple's story.: One foot in front of the other

Today I woke up exhausted. I hit the snooze alarm multiple times even though I really knew I needed to get to work on time. I had a start to a busy week and a new employee who would be in the office at 8:30am. I walked into the bathroom and I looked in the mirror and swear I found three new wrinkles around my eyes. It is not time for another botox injection, but maybe it is wearing off even sooner due to the amount of squinting and stress I have had on my body and face. I turn around, start the shower and then stare at that dreaded scale that perfectly matches my bathrooms decor. I make sure the radio, shower and fan are on so that Kent does not hear me move it and turn it on. It makes the slightest noise when it powers on, but hand to God, I swear it sends a giant signal to my sleeping husband that is wife is about ready to throw herself into a possible tail spin. Kent about killed himself this week-end with a wedding he was in, so he rested peacefully while I felt panicked. I stepped on the scale and it has stayed about the same over the past few weeks. I no longer wince when I see the number. I am sadly becoming accustomed to those three very large digits and the body that carries them.

While Kent and I were in Italy we both put on weight in a very quick fashion. We felt bloated, awkward and uncomfortable. We came home though and regained some composure. As I looked at that scale this morning I felt a little sad because it is actually 3 pounds heavier than when I returned from Italy. I have managed to regain this weight and more in the course of 2 months. I didn't eat myself across a country though and take in the sights and smells of a foreign land. I basically put one foot in front of the other and made my way to the cupboard, grocery store, restaurants and bars in Seattle. I'm still pissed at my lack of response as the scales number steadily increased and the amount of pants that I own and fit decreased. I purchased two pairs of cargo pants in the plus-size section and I have lived in these. The worst decision I have made in quite awhile.

After I found myself at work I just had to give myself a bit of a pep talk to recognize the fact that I know I am capable of so much more than I realize. I know that if I take very small steps into a more positive way of life I will reap a million benefits. Yesterday I actually made us a grocery list and went to the store and adhered to a healthy cart of produce, dairy and meat that I intend on eating this week. For the past 2 months I have literally went shopping, bought a ton of food to only not use it and have it end up in the trash. No more! Kent and I are in sync to work on our debt and our waistlines and I am welcoming this change whole heartedly. I've been scouring the typical food blogs I review and I'm having a mad craving for sukiyaki, but my friend Chris's mom is not in town and I'm not sure that I am really up to the challenge. I am up for a little more positive momentum in my life as this I do have a choice over. My intentions are to be my best person and to find that little lady in me who has come very far over the past 6 years. Here is a photo I found of myself from my high school reunion in 2003. I had lost about 20 pounds prior to this photo, which would have been the heaviest I was. I did not like having my photo taken, but at times, it is important as it does help to see where we have been in life.