TGIF

Gratitude...today is suppose to be my day to find gratitude in the world. The last few days have been tough for me, gratitude is the last thing on my mind. I feel emotionally spent regarding our housing situation and the drama within our building. When I married Kent I knew he wanted to have multiple rental properties as they are excellent sources of income, particularly in the "older years." What I know now is that I do not want to live in our home, which is a rental property. Even though it is fabulous, it no longer feels like home. My "home" has turned into a business in my brain and I feel as if the administration is failing. My hands are tied though and I have to trust that as tenants go, someone will come.

Last night I was upset over recent conversations about our home and tenants and I actually just put my coat on, left my house without saying a word and drove around Seattle with no purpose. I use to go on long drives when I lived in Montana to calm myself or think through something difficult. Even though I was in rush hour traffic with no radio on last night I still couldn't calm down and process things. I found myself parking in front of Macy's and I contemplated buying some new clothes or something to cheer me up. Then I thought a big donut would make me feel better. I checked no for both of those items and drove home. I sat outside my house for a few minutes and realized that somehow everything will work out. My husband has a comfort level and style that is totally different than mine when it comes to our home and mortgage. I for once am the pessimist, a role I often don't find myself in. Kent is my optimist, he is always my optimist, regarding our housing situation and our future.

My gratitude today is for choosing to go home and not eat a donut or buy something frivolous just to feel better for a few seconds. Sort of an odd gratitude, but its the best I can come up with.