Managing expectations

Recently I've felt very squeezed by work, home life, family etc. I feel as if I'm not managing expectations very well or doing the best at providing crystal clear communication. I've been working on my boundaries though and that's been a beautiful thing.

Yesterday I had a friend from the past send me a facebook friendship request. I have wondered for some time where this person's life has carried them. We've had no communication for the past 8 years and we left on very harsh words. My own mentality is stronger and wiser now and knows that people can change, I certainly am not the same person. Situations change, emotions change and I am in control of my personal feelings and boundaries. I'm unsure of where this will lead, but the email I received brought a smile to my face.

Yesterday I met with my trainer/friend Chris and we went for a run in the pouring rain. I looked like Ozzy Osbourne by time we returned to her home for Turkey and Kale soup (she has this damn thing with Kale). As Chris was asking me about my weight loss goals I did my best, between gasping breaths, to explain my weight loss is no longer about my calorie intake or my exercise. My connections to my personal well-being and my weight are very strong right now. I see how much my own expectations of my weight loss drive me to go in polar directions. It is all or nothing with me, and this is not a manageable expectation. I'm really beginning to see this problem I have with food as something that I can manage. I don't want to turn to a drug or turn to a program to give me guidance. I am my own guidance. I understand my body, I know so much about nutrition and if I don't know something, I know how to figure it out. I don't want to rely on drugs, God, a sponsor or self help group to uplift me and give me some weird out of body experience to lose weight. My body will lose weight when I treat it properly and provide it the tools to do so. Managing my expectations is going to be probably the most challenging thing of all.