Nervous

Ok, so since I thought I would use this blog as a bit of a journal, here is what I feel like writing...I'm nervous about what the stick is going to say tomorrow. I've done my best not to think about it, but now I'm like...12 more hours!

I hate Clomid, I hate that drug and the fact I need it to get even one follicle to mature. I really don't want to worry about another IUI right after Thanksgiving and the potential no right before Christmas. I know that this is just a fact of life, but I'm ready to no longer learn about the drama of have PCOS and how difficult it is to get pregnant.

There is a part of me who has just fought with this body of mine since I was 5. Always trying to lose weight as I was a giant kid, a giant teenager and through out my adult years I have fluctuated to the extreme. I'm not "giant" right now, but that scale is on a number that I haven't seen for five years. I'm bummed to see that number and how little control I feel right now over my body. My spirits are remaining high though and I appreciate all of the positive feedback from everyone.