This past week I have waking up and wondering how in the hell I am 35 and analyzing the choices I've made. I found some of my old journals and I riffled through them with laughter, horror and sort of some profound thoughts. I'm still complaining about my weight, how I'll make that connection some day with food and stress etc. It is also funny, in hindsight of course, to see what I considered a crisis in my younger years and how I handled it.
This past week I have had to remind myself daily that the things that are happening recently are for a reason. I feel stressed about the future, but maybe it is time I do. I have felt pretty stagnant lately and I know that is by choice as I really struggle with change. I have joked that dating and getting married have been enough change for me for the next several years. That is not actually true though. I'm pretty dissatisfied with how bad I have been feeling about myself lately. It's not a depression thing, but just a general feeling like, "what in the hell am I doing with myself." I'm sort of taking stock right now in myself and I don't see a very organized profile. Life seems to somehow get in the way, I let it get in the way. I'm pretty tired of feeling poorly about my decisions and it is sort of time to man up and make changes. I do see many changes for myself this upcoming year and I'm pretty anxious about them. I do know though that I am a survivor, I just haven't been in survivor mode for quite awhile.
Palm Springs and My 6th Grade Crush
Kent and I had a blast in Palm Springs. The weather was amazing, we rested well, played in the sun, hung out at the pool, rode our bikes to the coffee shop etc. We went to LaQuinta, which is a suburb outside of Palm Springs. Our friends have a house in Rancho LaQuinta, this amazingly pristine golf course. When you enter the gates it is like you are in a secret club...one where no leaf is left on the ground or blade of grass too long. It is almost frightening how perfect it is, but in all honesty, it was kind of refreshing. Our neighborhood in Seattle is always getting tagged by some A*hole who calls himself Bleak. He wrote Boner on Kent's work van one evening while we were sleeping. The most out of touch thing I saw in this gated community is a lonely grapefruit that had fallen off of someones tree and rolled into the street. It was crazy how easily I noticed it, but it was the only thing out of place. It was a great trip though and one we hope to repeat yearly as our friends are so gracious and the casita they have fits us perfectly.
The really difficult part of our trip is my sister and dad had to take Stoney to the vet and put him down. We were so sad, it was awful. I couldn't have them try to keep him alive though so that we could say good-bye. It just didn't seem right. He was getting so weak and he went downhill in a matter of days. I know he is in a good place though, that is what I keep reminding myself. I am a total dog lover, but this cat was crazy funny and I miss him terribly.
My TGIF for today is the fact that I am totally excited to be going to see Jon Bon Jovi tomorrow night with my friend Mary Pat and her husband Jon. Jon is a butt rocker to the fullest, he is hilarious as well. During the 6th grade I was obsessed with Bon Jovi, Slippery When Wet was my album. The speakers in my basement that were the size of me blared out Living on a Prayer until my ears rang. Kent and Mary Pat are not too excited about the concert, I think they are more excited to see what Jon and I will do. Here is the exact poster that was on my wall for several years above my bed. Oh Jon Bon Jovi...will you remember me?
Have a great week-end everyone!
The really difficult part of our trip is my sister and dad had to take Stoney to the vet and put him down. We were so sad, it was awful. I couldn't have them try to keep him alive though so that we could say good-bye. It just didn't seem right. He was getting so weak and he went downhill in a matter of days. I know he is in a good place though, that is what I keep reminding myself. I am a total dog lover, but this cat was crazy funny and I miss him terribly.
My TGIF for today is the fact that I am totally excited to be going to see Jon Bon Jovi tomorrow night with my friend Mary Pat and her husband Jon. Jon is a butt rocker to the fullest, he is hilarious as well. During the 6th grade I was obsessed with Bon Jovi, Slippery When Wet was my album. The speakers in my basement that were the size of me blared out Living on a Prayer until my ears rang. Kent and Mary Pat are not too excited about the concert, I think they are more excited to see what Jon and I will do. Here is the exact poster that was on my wall for several years above my bed. Oh Jon Bon Jovi...will you remember me?
Have a great week-end everyone!
Germans and Strays
This past week-end Kent and I, along with multiple friends, travelled to Leavenworth to celebrate a friends 40th birthday. I was nervous about going as I have a total snoring problem and I never know what the sleeping situation is. Thank God my husband can tolerate my "heavy breathing". We got out of Seattle late and I kept thinking, shit, is this going to be like the Real World where we are all scrambling for a room? It was a bit, but there was a lovely futon with our name all over it. At least it was in a private room, AKA the mud room, but I'm not going to complain.
Leavenworth is the most bizarre little town. The snow was barely on the ground, so luckily we had no problems with the road.
We all chilled out, wore wigs, had dance party USA and celebrated to our hearts content.
Becs...the birthday girl!
Becs little girl Adia with Kent and I!
That first evening we were there a stray dog was found and suddenly, our party included our new dog Chelsey/Scout. Through some serious investigating we discovered through the microchip that some A**hole dumped their dog in Leavenworth and moved away. When we got a hold of the owner she totally lied and then told us to have the Vet remove her name. So now Chelsey/Scout (couldn't figure out what to name her) is living in Seattle with our friends Trever and Colleen and looking for a home. She was an awesome dog and I know they will find her somewhere to live soon.
My sciatica is totally still acting up. I sat last night having my weekly acupuncture appointment and I just felt bummed about my body. I think it is the fact I am 51 days now without my lady business that is making me just annoyed all together with this body. Tomorrow I am going in for an ultrasound so hopefully the magic wand can figure out what is going on.
Kent and I leave on Thursday for Palm Springs and I couldn't be more excited. We've been going like mad lately and having a really hard time with our cat Stoney, who is really taking a turn for the worse. We are probably going to have to put him to sleep next week and it is just killing me. He has kidney failure and we are doing everything we can, but I think the unfortunate time has come. Stoney has been Kent's buddy for 16 years. It makes me cry to just think about how many homes they have moved around too as a team. One of my favorite cards Kent gave me was one that invited me to move in with him and Stoney and the fact that Kent had a talking with his cat and that Stoney understood he was now #2, I was #1. Sounds freaky, but it was totally sweet. Look at this twosome...love them both!
Leavenworth is the most bizarre little town. The snow was barely on the ground, so luckily we had no problems with the road.
We all chilled out, wore wigs, had dance party USA and celebrated to our hearts content.
Becs...the birthday girl!
Becs little girl Adia with Kent and I!
That first evening we were there a stray dog was found and suddenly, our party included our new dog Chelsey/Scout. Through some serious investigating we discovered through the microchip that some A**hole dumped their dog in Leavenworth and moved away. When we got a hold of the owner she totally lied and then told us to have the Vet remove her name. So now Chelsey/Scout (couldn't figure out what to name her) is living in Seattle with our friends Trever and Colleen and looking for a home. She was an awesome dog and I know they will find her somewhere to live soon.
My sciatica is totally still acting up. I sat last night having my weekly acupuncture appointment and I just felt bummed about my body. I think it is the fact I am 51 days now without my lady business that is making me just annoyed all together with this body. Tomorrow I am going in for an ultrasound so hopefully the magic wand can figure out what is going on.
Kent and I leave on Thursday for Palm Springs and I couldn't be more excited. We've been going like mad lately and having a really hard time with our cat Stoney, who is really taking a turn for the worse. We are probably going to have to put him to sleep next week and it is just killing me. He has kidney failure and we are doing everything we can, but I think the unfortunate time has come. Stoney has been Kent's buddy for 16 years. It makes me cry to just think about how many homes they have moved around too as a team. One of my favorite cards Kent gave me was one that invited me to move in with him and Stoney and the fact that Kent had a talking with his cat and that Stoney understood he was now #2, I was #1. Sounds freaky, but it was totally sweet. Look at this twosome...love them both!
GPS for my business
I am a recent convert to the I-Phone and one of the first things I did was look for fun apps. There are various apps pre-loaded, like a compass, calendar, calculator etc. I downloaded a fertility tracker to help me with my business and keep everything organized. Tonight I thought to myself that I should look for a GPS app for my lady business, as she is missing, and no where in sight. I'm day 44 now and not sure what the hell is happening. I started progesterone yesterday, so maybe this will help direct it the proper way. I mean I have a Redfin app that automatically pulls up any house for sale within a 5 mile range of where me and my phone are. Why in the hell can't my period find itself out of my body? Gross, I know, but christ, give me a break.
Oh...I irritated my sciatica somehow and can barely walk. Maybe something like a 3 hour yoga class has something to do with it! (-:
Oh...I irritated my sciatica somehow and can barely walk. Maybe something like a 3 hour yoga class has something to do with it! (-:
Why my husband should put me on wife swap
This past week-end was a fun one. We started with Friday night going to see Kathy Griffin at the Paramount with my sister. First of all, I'm a cusser and it just comes out. But I can not hold 10 seconds to that woman's mouth. When she came out people were literally freaking out; jumping out of their seats and screaming. I had no idea her following was so extreme. Her pop culture stories and celebrity sightings are quite funny. We laughed and laughed. Then Saturday morning came.
Several weeks ago I signed up for a 3 hour yoga fertility workshop that had a single or couples option. I asked (told) Kent that he was doing it with me and that it would be good for both of us. I'm a basket case at times with work and the unknown that is called life. As we were getting ready to leave Kent started questioning my choice. Of course I was pissed and told him to not come. He kept asking me if he was going to be the only guy. I explained I couldn't say yes or no, but that I would go by myself. I'm such a guilt trip of a wife at times! Bad Lisa, Bad Lisa! I did think stretching would be helpful for him as well, but holy shit, who knew what I signed us up for.
First of all it was in the University District and in an old church that was totally in disrepair (AKA gross). Fine, I'll get all Buddha like and kumbayaish, but really, it grossed me out and it smelt like feet. When we walked in I knew I was f*cked, Kent was going to kill me. It was 3 other ladies and us. We sat in a circle and we shared things...like our names and where we were in our cycle! WTF! I would NEVER have brought him with me, I mean seriously. If you are going to have open conversations and talk about if you are on your period with strangers, you might want to separate the girls from the boys, the vaginas from the penises. Sheesh! I introduced myself as Lisa, the woman who brought her poor husband who was going to kill afterwards. Since Kent's period just isn't a problem, he became a floater, he could choose his poses at free will. Kent kept looking at the clock, and me, and I knew what he was thinking. There were a few poses that we did together and Kent made it aware of his feelings as his elbows were grinding into my back.
I totally laugh now when I think about this. Kent talking about how he doesn't have a period, our laughing too often (the silent type though, the one where your body just shakes). It was a bonding experience and I love him more and more everyday as we are figuring out what is going to be best for us and this fertility adventure. My business is so frickin' late, but I'm not pregnant. I started progesterone to hopefully help it get moving.
On Saturday night Kent was able to get revenge back on me as we went to a 100th celebration of his DKE fraternity. We did get all dressed up and looked great.
I know 2 other ladies so they were my posse.
Deidre and Tara to my rescue!
There was some dancing, some drinking and an after party.
The major party foul for me though was my desire to eat at 2am and the only option was Taco Bell. I don't think I have "ran for the border" since 1997. Now I know why. I was so damn sick the next day and I know it was from whatever I consumed at 2am and not the wine. Baby Jesus please help me to remember this bad, bad choice so that I never make it again.
Best looking guy in the drive thru!
Several weeks ago I signed up for a 3 hour yoga fertility workshop that had a single or couples option. I asked (told) Kent that he was doing it with me and that it would be good for both of us. I'm a basket case at times with work and the unknown that is called life. As we were getting ready to leave Kent started questioning my choice. Of course I was pissed and told him to not come. He kept asking me if he was going to be the only guy. I explained I couldn't say yes or no, but that I would go by myself. I'm such a guilt trip of a wife at times! Bad Lisa, Bad Lisa! I did think stretching would be helpful for him as well, but holy shit, who knew what I signed us up for.
First of all it was in the University District and in an old church that was totally in disrepair (AKA gross). Fine, I'll get all Buddha like and kumbayaish, but really, it grossed me out and it smelt like feet. When we walked in I knew I was f*cked, Kent was going to kill me. It was 3 other ladies and us. We sat in a circle and we shared things...like our names and where we were in our cycle! WTF! I would NEVER have brought him with me, I mean seriously. If you are going to have open conversations and talk about if you are on your period with strangers, you might want to separate the girls from the boys, the vaginas from the penises. Sheesh! I introduced myself as Lisa, the woman who brought her poor husband who was going to kill afterwards. Since Kent's period just isn't a problem, he became a floater, he could choose his poses at free will. Kent kept looking at the clock, and me, and I knew what he was thinking. There were a few poses that we did together and Kent made it aware of his feelings as his elbows were grinding into my back.
I totally laugh now when I think about this. Kent talking about how he doesn't have a period, our laughing too often (the silent type though, the one where your body just shakes). It was a bonding experience and I love him more and more everyday as we are figuring out what is going to be best for us and this fertility adventure. My business is so frickin' late, but I'm not pregnant. I started progesterone to hopefully help it get moving.
On Saturday night Kent was able to get revenge back on me as we went to a 100th celebration of his DKE fraternity. We did get all dressed up and looked great.
I know 2 other ladies so they were my posse.
Deidre and Tara to my rescue!
There was some dancing, some drinking and an after party.
The major party foul for me though was my desire to eat at 2am and the only option was Taco Bell. I don't think I have "ran for the border" since 1997. Now I know why. I was so damn sick the next day and I know it was from whatever I consumed at 2am and not the wine. Baby Jesus please help me to remember this bad, bad choice so that I never make it again.
Best looking guy in the drive thru!
