Fresh beginning

I wish I could say there was this incredible reason why I chose to stop blogging and took it one step further and make my blog private. In all honesty, I felt like I couldn't be honest. There is nothing traumatic happening to Kent or I. I feel like we are on a good path, but there are some definite changes on our horizon. I have really focused over this past year on being "real." I wanted an authentic experience when I wrote about my day or an event, not something I had to reword for sake of someone discovering my blog.

Over the past few months I've had some serious doubts about my job, even though I have worked there for 10+ years. Knowing that I might soon be faced with looking for a job, I needed to clean up my online world. Plus, I'm tired of not being able to really say what I want to. You have no clue who is reading your blog and I my forum has never wanted to be one of inspiration. It's just my life, as big or small as it may appear to those who do read what I write.

Life is good though, it really is. I'm really starting to tackle my fears of life again. Fear of debt, fear of losing my job, working on my insecurities about myself. It has been very eye opening and difficult, but in my heart I know that I am capable of handling whatever comes to me. I don't consider myself to be religious, but I am spiritual. I am in a really good place right now and I'm actually glad that I finally found the courage to face some of my fears head on. I don't want to live my life in denial and I'm over trying to fix situations that I have no control over.

What I do have control over is loving my family, loving my friends and taking good care of myself. I'm excited about what is potential over the next 6-18 months. Kent and I are trying to get pregnant again, which is a really mixed bag of emotions for me. I'm so grateful that I have my little Carter though, as it really does make the waiting game and unknown significantly more manageable. I'm looking forward to celebrating Carter's 1st birthday next week-end. I really can't believe it has been a year. I love him more than I can explain.

Here is to new beginnings!

The clouds are parting...

It has felt like a cloud has been looming over my head for quite awhile. Between the property line dispute, the disagreeing on how to handle the dispute, Carter teething, my personal desire to find some time and normalcy--it has been a struggle. I am happy to say though that things seem to be clearing.

I'm not happy that the fore mentioned dispute between my neighbor has happened, and is still happening. It did teach me a lot about how Kent and I manage situations. We both come at things from completely different angles. I am very alpha/research/ problem solve/confront and resolve. Kent is the nice guy, he does good in the world and expects it back. He is reasonable and agreeable and respects and hopes this of other. This was very frustrating to me at times, particularly when it seemed that this tactic was not working, but I now recognize that this is one of the many qualities I like about Kent.

This dispute also helped me figure out some priorities in my life. I was going, going and going and never really stopped to smell the roses. I was so pre-occupied and worried that weeks passed and I realized that I had been oblivious to those around me. I sort of was just moving with the motion of life, but not really experiencing or feeling it. For awhile I was so stressed that I was not eating as much, which is definitely not my normal tactic. Unfortunately my usage of food to calm/numb myself eventually won and I found myself choosing food often. I'm glad to say I have recognized these tendencies and I have made considerable waves in resolving things and finding peace. Kent and I have been on a pretty healthy pattern this past week and it feels great. I'm much more aware of what I am eating, why I am eating, how I feel etc. I'm making myself feel hunger more often than I am use to. This is just a process that I need to go through as I have felt so out of whack. I'm looking forward to the positive results.

With the above healthy eating plans I'm also putting it out there to everyone, including myself, that I need a little Lisa time. I was trying to explain to my baby group that I feel like when Kent and I started to try to get pregnant in April 2009, everything changed. The focus was no longer on my personal self, but on the future and how to get pregnant. It wasn't until February 2010 that we found out we were pregnant and now I am enjoying my happy and healthy 7 month old Carter. The problem is that before I was pregnant I spent all of my time reading books, blogs, going to doctor appointments etc to get pregnant. Then I get pregnant and spend all of my time worrying and preparing for child birth and child rearing. Then baby Carter comes and the cycle starts again; sleep books, first aid books, baby food books etc. I love my little Carter more than I can write, but I know that unless a little energy goes into my needs, I will one day find myself in a potentially resentful place. Being a mom is about balance. There are days that things are so perfect and other days everything seems off key. How I manage these days is up to me and I truly think that allowing myself some private time is how I will best conquer this.

So...I'm super excited that the summer is here as I am fortunate to have 6 weeks off, the first two starting in the middle of June. These weeks are paid vacation, which I feel have completely been earned. In the first week alone I am going to: have my hair done, mani-pedi, family photo session, Taj Mahal concert at the zoo, massage, peonies flower arranging class, and a cupcake decorating class. It might seem like overkill, but it's not. The one ridiculous item to add to the loop is my 5:30am bootcamp that I am going on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I need to add fitness back into my life and sometimes I just need a slap across the butt to get me going. This is what bootcamp will do. I am already mentally trying to prepare for it. I have truly not worked out since February 2010 when I found out I was pregnant. I was scared, had hypertension and a battery of problems from the pregnancy. I am prepared to start over from scratch, with the hope that my body will remember what it is like to be pushed physically. Kent and I also want to have another baby, so it is so important that I find a way to lose some more weight and have a healthier pregnancy.

I feel like life is slowly perking up. I'm actually feeling pretty optimistic which is a great way to live. I don't know if I am mentally processing things better, but there has definitely been a change, and one that is for the better. Plus, how can I not feel happy or optimistic when this little guy is looking back at me?

Camping and Pregnancy.....

Camping and Pregnancy is like "chalk and cheese." My British friend Miles uses these lovely analogies that none of us understand. Basically, the two of them don't mix.

I felt nervous on Saturday morning as we were heading to Leavenworth. I'm having a hard time sleeping and the idea of being in a tent on an air mattress suddenly sounded very uncomfortable. When we planned this trip several months ago I was having no issues with being pregnant, I was mobile etc. Now I was finding myself 7 months pregnant and wanting to bail. I didn't though, I persevered, and made the most of it. When we arrived I was instantly attacked by mosquitoes and through a fit. Then I realized I didn't even think about bugs and bug spray and the safety for the baby. I was hungry, tired and being attacked which made me a ton of fun.

We quickly set up camp and made our way to the river for tubing. We arrived to find out we needed reservations and they were full. WTF is what was screaming in my brain. The only fun thing I was look towards this week-end was to float in the water. We waited for 2 hours and eventually we made our way onto the river. Getting into the tube was not the easiest thing as I found myself in a weird position that hurt my belly and back. The water was freezing and moving faster than last year. Within a few minutes I found myself in the brush being poked by sticks and I was pissed. Kent was having a blast and had pre-funked for 2 hours prior to getting on the river. Basically he was loaded and I felt a bit upset that he was to be my protector. I had to cut his ass loose twice as he fell out of his tube and there was no way I was going down with him.

The camping experience is one I do enjoy. I love the campfire, the smore making and seeing the stars. I was a trooper to the extreme as I couldn't get my fat ass out of the camping chairs, getting into a relaxing sleeping position was impossible and there were no tasty beverages I was able to enjoy. I did get to hang out with good friends and I know Kent had a blast. He was making me laugh so hard. It has been a hard few months with the home remodel and this was a great way for him to blow off steam.

Ramblings of a pregnant woman

It's been two weeks since my last post and I'm a bit frustrated by that. I'm starting to get frustrated constantly. I'm tired of working on our house, our money pit of crap that just never seems to turn a corner to having one task done. Kent has been working so hard and I know he is tired of it as well. I almost started crying the other night when I realized we both are so tired at the end of the night that we just go to bed, no chatting, no cuddling, nothing...just fall asleep exhausted. I've had friends say, "when are you going to post pics of your house"? Well...here's why I haven't really posted many......

My house is in a wild heron sanctuary and apparently the last owner felt there was no need to ever trim a tree, I almost couldn't see the house when Kent first took me here.


Last week-end we literally killed ourselves, and my parents trying to trim the trees. This is just a small portion of the pile o' crap that is now my yard.

Look at these lovely bathroom shots that Kent "woo-ed" me with...




Here is where we are now....

Actually, we are a little farther, but you get the point.

Every night I come home, and I honestly run into a pile of this....


There is something about needing to wear shoes in your home for fear of a nail or screw jabbing you in the foot. Everything is dusty and I'm a tidy lady.

Luckily my man feels my pain and does this about 3x a week....



Loads this shit up and takes it to the dump!

Now to be fair, the house is actually looking better than some of these photos. We have been able to paint the entire outside, redo the deck, painted all of the kitchen cabinets and put new nobs on. The electrician is coming next week to do an overhaul and then drywall will go up in the rooms that we tore out paneling. I know my problem is that I see my belly growing more everyday, and I see that due date getting closer and my sense of freedom is dwindling. Kent and I should be trying to have some parties, travel a bit, enjoy our city and friends before our nugget arrives as everything is going to change. We haven't been able to do that though as this house has taken over. I know Kent is "nesting" now though and is really pushing to get everything ready before the baby comes. I love that about him. This week-end I hope to be able to look for curtains, a new coffee table and maybe buy the baby something fun.

19 weeks

I'm rounding the corner of being 19 weeks pregnant and I'm still a little baffled. Yesterday we went for the big Ultrasound, the sort of scary one when your are 35+ and they check for issues etc. The ultrasound tech was the same one we had the first time, I thought she was dull, but she was just doing her job. She spent about 45 minutes total and we were able to see the feet, hands, spine etc. When it was time to get close to the abdomen and genitals she had both of us close our eyes as we do not want to know the sex (I don't know if I could have been able to tell anyways). Kent and I kept laughing and yelling at one another that we had better not be cheating, it was probably only funny to us. The tech kept saying, your baby is really moving around, and I still felt like she wasn't actually talking to me. It strangely is just starting to hit me, like big time, that we are having a baby in early October. The ultrasound showed nothing out of the ordinary and as she and the Doctor left I just started to cry. Deep down I've worried, but I haven't let anything surface. The tears came out quickly though as I'm trying to get gel off my belly (actually I made Kent, he washed my tummy like it was a Buick). We left that office and a weight was off my shoulders and then the reality of life settled in.

Last week-end I went to Babies R Us, my idea of hell, and registered. My mother came with me and 2 1/2 hours later we left exhausted. I am amazed at the amount of stuff out there and the list that the store gave me as registry necessities. I believe we will be having 3 showers, so I tried to add many things to the registry that were in different price points. I felt embarrassed by the list and it just reminded me of our wedding registry all over again. I know this helps people when they want to purchase you something, but it also made me feel so selfish as well.

Kent and I are in a waiting period right now. Waiting for our home to get finished, but that won't happen until September. Waiting for the baby, and that doesn't happen until October. I'm blessed beyond belief and looking forward to settling in this summer and nesting with Kent.

I'm married and pregnant....

I have been unable to get into my computer recently to download photos that I've been wanting to share of our home and what we have been up to. I'm so tired though and swamped with things. Moving is tough, and then trying to remodel and make your new home a comfy place is not a speedy thing. Kent and I had a family meeting this week and we are both on task, budget and he knows his cutoff is the first part of September.

I can't believe I am 18 weeks pregnant. It is starting to hit me this week, the realization of what is happening. I have felt the baby move and it bizarre and comforting at the same time. It's like a little flutter in my lower abdomen and it makes me tear up just thinking about it. I think the move has been stressful and the pregnancy is not on our minds. This wake up call from our little nugget though has propelled me once again into emotional overload and the tears just flow. Today I was walking to the store to get lunch and it just hit me, I'm pregnant, I love my husband, it's sunny out...and I totally started crying. The only thing that jolted me out of this teary state was the two guys who blocked the sidewalk and wouldn't let me pass. Apparently I have nice eyes, and beautiful hair, and "hey baby, can't we just talk." To that I laughed and yelled, "No, I'm married and pregnant," and this just sent me into a laughing fit. They both said, oh, have a nice day.

Happy Friday Everyone!

Pregnant and Homeless...

This past week I've found myself having vivid dreams, like an affair with Alec Baldwin and another one with just myself and my big pregnant belly in a tank dress on the side of the road eating beef jerky. I haven't told Kent about the second one, but this dream has far more strength in becoming a reality than Alec Baldwin applying lotion to my back (I don't even have a thing for Alec Baldwin, but he can be smug and cocky which has been my thing lately, in my dreams). Our housing dilemma has only continued to rock my very moody soul back and forth lately and I'm at my breaking point. We were suppose to close last Thursday but the banks 2nd home inspector wanted the entire outside of the house painted, an indoor railing made and both decks railings revamped. We found this out last Thursday and all work had to be completed by Monday. That's right, we had 3 full days to do the work of what would take weeks. Thank God Kent is a contractor, because honestly, we would never have been able to find a good contractor and painter in such a short time.

I am furious as we were spending time and serious money on a place that WE DON'T EVEN OWN! The seller refused to pay for these things as it was our problem that the bank wouldn't close, not his. We spent this past week-end pressure washing the entire house, building railings and basically killing ourselves. We have been arguing with one another and it is fear based, worried that we will not have anywhere to live. Our triplex is rented and the new people are slated to arrive with their moving truck in one week. The logical side of me knows that things will work out, but my logic is shot at this point, I'm running on pure fumes and emotions.

So tonight as I lie my head on my pillow I will have sweet dreams of Alec Baldwin and moving to a different zip code, not one where I am in a tank dress eating beef jerky.

A long road ahead of us...

I have always been a realistic person about things that I save, things I donate or throw away. I love shows like Clean Sweep and Hoarders, with the massive amounts of chaos that others live in, which makes me welcome my ability to see things as "things" and what are cherished items. We are working our way closer and closer to the closing date on our new home. With this process of moving also comes the process of renting out our unit in the Triplex so I will have strangers in the house and I don't want it too messy for fear they will think the place/closets/storage is not enough. I've been tired and sick lately so last night we finally began packing.

Kent and I have different philosophies on stuff. He has a need for everything, a purpose that only he can see. I think of the multi-functionality of stuff, yet Kent only needs one function for something. Two years ago we went to Jazz Fest in New Orleans and my Dad rented us a limo that was decked out in beads, beer coozies (no clue how to spell) etc. When we came back home they went into Kent's closet and have stayed in the same spot for almost exactly two years. My brain instantly saw this crap, eh hem, stuff last night and thought, yes, that will go in our trash or donation pile. What must I have been thinking. Those beer condoms will be perfect for sitting out on our new deck in the summer on furniture we have yet to purchase. We started looking in kitchen drawers and I pulled out this weird ghetto beaker measuring thing that Kent bought at IKEA years before I met him. I put it in the donation pile and he saw that and was like, Woah, what are you doing! This is what I use to measure my water for oatmeal. Let me tell you something about Kent's eating habits, he eats the same thing everyday and in no sense of breakfast has Oatmeal been on the menu.

I believe the next month will be a battle of the wills and stuff. I can see the tent in our yard if Clean Sweep showed up and our keep pile is going to be enormous. I believe Kent sees this new house with 2700 square feet, compared to our 1100 we are living in as a mecca for buying and storing things. I'm welcoming the idea of not being so stuffed to the gills. His constant answer about crap I hate is that it is going in his office. His office is so small that I question how the furniture will go in there.

Oh...my TGIF for this week, maybe even this month, will be a way to see through all of Kent's collections and the reward he will receive when 1 percent of his stuff is donated or thrown out.

Home is where the heart is....

Please, right now my heart skips a beat every time I find out we need to find a sneaky way around in the home financing world. Kent is awesome, his skills will make my 70's charmer shine, but being that he is self-employed we jump literally hoops to get financed. At this point, we are shady as a palm tree because what shows on paper is not our reality.

We should hopefully be moving into our gem in about 6 weeks. I am looking forward to setting up shop in a new place and Kent finally able to start tearing stuff apart. His hobby is so expensive, possibly I could get him to want to make his own beer, or belts. We have awesome things on our horizon and this home will help us feel like the little family we are.

I'm preoccupied with the home purchase, so little else has been happening. Daylights savings time is Sunday, woo hoo! Beautiful sunshine and late evenings are headed our way.

A place to call home

Kent and I have been on the hunt for the past month now for a new home. We've toyed back and forth with renting or buying. We have a great Triplex that we are going to keep, but it is too small and we are ready for a change. The market we are in financially is not as high as I would like it to be, but we already have another mortgage and I'm not in the mood to be house poor. It sucks when you have a great kitchen but you are too poor to buy food, or make cocktails for friends.

Last night we went and looked at a place in Magnolia. It is WAY overpriced, the owner is smoking crack if he actually thinks he will get full price. The place is more of a modern home, built in the the 50's and maybe reno'd in the last 70's. What does that mean...green olive sinks and toilet. Gross. But what I love about that man of mine is he knows how to swing a hammer. $20,000 later I will have a better bedroom and bathroom. Not sure where the $20,000 will come from, but something will happen.

We haven't officially sent a price offer over to the agent. Kent was up early, which is shocking, and processing the decision etc. I am actually OK with the fact that this house has major potential and I think we could be happy there. Plus there's a place to hang a jacket AND there is a god damn built-in blender in the kitchen. My margaritaville blender may not need to make an appearance this summer. I kept thinking there might be built in ash trays everywhere too (thank god that didn't surface). We always planned on updating any bathroom and kitchen of the house we moved into. I get that if we move into this joint I will live in dust for months, potentially years. But it will be our hard labored dust, and eventually it will settle.

Palm Springs and My 6th Grade Crush

Kent and I had a blast in Palm Springs. The weather was amazing, we rested well, played in the sun, hung out at the pool, rode our bikes to the coffee shop etc. We went to LaQuinta, which is a suburb outside of Palm Springs. Our friends have a house in Rancho LaQuinta, this amazingly pristine golf course. When you enter the gates it is like you are in a secret club...one where no leaf is left on the ground or blade of grass too long. It is almost frightening how perfect it is, but in all honesty, it was kind of refreshing. Our neighborhood in Seattle is always getting tagged by some A*hole who calls himself Bleak. He wrote Boner on Kent's work van one evening while we were sleeping. The most out of touch thing I saw in this gated community is a lonely grapefruit that had fallen off of someones tree and rolled into the street. It was crazy how easily I noticed it, but it was the only thing out of place. It was a great trip though and one we hope to repeat yearly as our friends are so gracious and the casita they have fits us perfectly.

The really difficult part of our trip is my sister and dad had to take Stoney to the vet and put him down. We were so sad, it was awful. I couldn't have them try to keep him alive though so that we could say good-bye. It just didn't seem right. He was getting so weak and he went downhill in a matter of days. I know he is in a good place though, that is what I keep reminding myself. I am a total dog lover, but this cat was crazy funny and I miss him terribly.

My TGIF for today is the fact that I am totally excited to be going to see Jon Bon Jovi tomorrow night with my friend Mary Pat and her husband Jon. Jon is a butt rocker to the fullest, he is hilarious as well. During the 6th grade I was obsessed with Bon Jovi, Slippery When Wet was my album. The speakers in my basement that were the size of me blared out Living on a Prayer until my ears rang. Kent and Mary Pat are not too excited about the concert, I think they are more excited to see what Jon and I will do. Here is the exact poster that was on my wall for several years above my bed. Oh Jon Bon Jovi...will you remember me?



Have a great week-end everyone!

Having the last word...

Am I a "know-it-all?" Do I always have to win an argument or have the last word? This is really on my brain right now. I find myself often dishing out advice, generally it is asked of me, but at times I know I need to have the last word. Today at work I found myself with a 1 out of 2 "win" with disgruntled patients. No specifics to mention, but I'm sitting here thinking to myself, "how could I have handled this better?" I think I need better negotiating/listening/problem solving skills with angered individuals. Hell I need better skills with happy individuals. Even in my marriage there are days that I know that serpent tongue of mine can lash out and whip Kent across the face. It's a tactic I've learned throughout the years to protect myself, but one that I'm not always proud of.

I had some pretty good revelations today about what I consider "fact finding" but might very well come across as "condescending or rude" to the recipient. Kent and I have been heavily weighing our options when it comes to housing. We are keeping our triplex and will be moving this spring/summer. Do we rent, do we somehow buy? Well it appeared renting was our only option but I smelled some creativity out of Kent recently as he has been scouring RedFin like mad. Last week-end we went to a few open houses and holy shit it is going to suck to leave my awesome place and live in a crap hole. Look at this beauty Kent made...



Back to reality...There is nothing like a real estate agent explaining a home as "a great opportunity for someone with contractor skills." The fine print on that comment..shit hole that I will more than likely live in. When I said "I do" to Kent, I also said I do to contractor visions and nightmare projects. Kent is awesome though and I know he has our best interests at heart. We struggle a bit with my vision not being so keen as his and my constant questioning of "how" and the disbelief that the vision is possible. I know that Kent and I have different communication styles as I'm a lady and he's a man. I might need to pick up The Male Factor, a new book on Amazon. It talks more about relationships in the workplace between men and women, but it generally all boils down to communication styles and perceptions.

I'm sort of rambling a bit today, but there is a definite swirl up in this brain. I don't want to be a know-it-all. I'd like to be thought of as determined, compassionate, educated and concise. Generally though I'm pretty damn emotional and that gets the best of me. I use to be so cool, now I frickin' get hives on my chest. I must remember if I become a negotiator to wear a turtle neck...but sometimes those damn cheeks of mine get flushed too! Oh..the travesty of having passion (aka an opinion that I damn well want you to understand).

Other than my know-it-all attitude things have been pretty calm and nice around the Davis household. We are still rockin' our fitness. Yesterday we met at the stairs and I did 5 sets, that's 1250 stairs up and down, or the equivalent of 62 flights of stairs. That is no joke people. I thought I was going to die on my last 50. Oh, and I didn't mention the running in between the sets. I'm weighing myself tomorrow, but I'm already a winner as I know my body is smaller. My new fat pants (recent purchases) are a bit looser. My lady business should be kicking in soon and then that drama starts. It has been so nice to not have that rolling around in my brain and those bad, bad drugs playing with my passion, ahem, emotions. We are leaving President's Day Week-end for Palm Springs so if my business doesn't come by early next week, we won't be timed right for an IUI, so then we will skip another cycle. I'm not happy about it, but this vacation was planned a long time ago and I see a big yellow ball in the sky and a heated pool with my name all over it.

Christmas 2009

I wasn't quite sure what was going to happen to our holiday cheer and spirit this year. I've been in the total dumps with the fertility issues I have and work has been very trying lately. I attacked and decorated the house with vengeance to literally evoke the Christmas spirit wherever I turned. I forced Kent to listen to Delilah on 106.9 ( I know, gross) the station where sappy Christmas dedications are played for hours on end. Maybe someday I will send Delilah a dedication to play for Kent about how much I love him. Truth be told we probably wouldn't listen to 106.9 during dinner but sadly this station gets the best transmission.

Our Christmas celebration started on the 23rd with a trip to the Paramount Theatre to see the Rockettes. I was looking forward to seeing this show, but within 5, yes 5, minutes of the show starting I knew we were in trouble. It was frickin' awful, like I wanted to strangle myself during almost every act. The dancing by the Rockettes themselves was not that terrible, but the bloody mish mash of holiday spirit in between proved to be too much. We left before the show ended and it was the best decision I made about the show.


Kent looking oh so cute in his fashionable velvet jacket
On Christmas Eve I had to work for a few hours that morning, which ended up not being that bad. Patients were in good moods as was the staff. Kent and I went and picked up him mom and dropped her off at her friends house. Kent's mom has total issues and right now it is best that she hangs out with Sylvia, someday we will find a better balance hopefully and I can handle her condition a bit better. I was worried about doing anything this day as the cyst I had more than likely popped as I had incredible pain for several days in my left ovary. The pain was steady and spiked occasionally. This pain was pretty bad as we were driving out to Kent's Aunt's house, but luckily we managed. Kent's Aunt Lisa has 2 children, and we hung out at her house for a few hours, sang a few songs and then rushed back to Seattle for the evenings true entertainment.


Dina Martina in the flesh, whose to say a picture is not worth a 1,000 words?
First I must admit that when Kent's friend Monika invited us to The Dina Martina Christmas Show I didn't know what to think. I told Kent Jesus would not like this and hanging out at a bar on Christmas Eve just didn't seem right. Monika and Kent convinced me that the holidays were about spending it with friends and family, and truthfully, Monika is like Kent's sister. Monika's boyfriend Miles is from Britain and this was his first holiday without his family so it only felt right to spend it together. When we arrived at the Re-bar I was happy to see the show was sold-out and within 5 minutes of the opening number I knew I was at the right place. I have not laughed that hard in months, many many months. The show was so funny and everyone around us was so nice and full of holiday good will. Tears practically rolled down my face as "she" performed her own rendition of holiday songs. This show literally brought me my spirit back. I walked out of that bar and felt better than I had in months. How I wish I could put some of the performance up on my blog, it just rocked.

As we were leaving Monika and Miles asked us to join them next door for Ethiopian food. I immediately thought, of course, Ethiopian food...it is about as Christmas as attending a drag queen holiday special on Christmas Eve. We walked into the restaurant at 10pm on Christmas Eve and it was very quiet and we were definitely the only non-African patrons. Monika and Miles have both been to Africa several times so they instantly knew what to order. We all washed our hands and dug in. It was spicy and yummy. I didn't quite care for the Injera, which is the spongy like bread that you use to "eat" the food with. No utensils used here, just bread. I did like the assorted vegetarian dips and the lamb wot was quite tasty. We finally left at midnight as I told Mr. Davis that Santa was coming and we needed to stay on his "nice" list. We bid farewell to Monika and Miles and rushed home to fill each others stockings.


Santa was very good to both of us. I love how Kent wraps every one of the items he puts in my stocking. He was so sweet and bought me my beautiful navy handbag that I have been coveting for months.

Kent and I are doing our best to live by a budget (well talking is more like it..talking about being on a budget) so I couldn't justify the purse. Christmas morning though there was a wacko present wrapped like a giant tube and shoved in here was my navy beauty. We then had to hurry and dash to my parents house in Puyallup to have many, many presents to open and food to gorge on.


My Grandma June with the largest box of Russel Stover chocolates ever created. She loves this crappy candy...and she's totally diabetic. She is 88 and rocks though.

This holiday turned out really well. I was so concerned with how emotional I have been recently that I wouldn't be able to enjoy it. I did though, I enjoyed it. I didn't cry when I saw big pregnant bellies or commercials for Folgers coffee. I looked around me and saw this awesome husband of mine and the life we have. This Christmas was very special and I look with great joy to the New Year.

U2 Part Deux

Upon returning from Las Vegas I found myself at the RE office and one good follicle. The next morning we went in early and Kent made a deposit, we went and had breakfast and then I returned for our first IUI. I wasn't quite sure what to expect, but it was quite simple. As the ARNP was inserting Kent's deposit she told me we should have intercourse at 8:30pm that night. I told her that I was going to be rocking out at the U2 show in Vancouver and that there was probably no "place" to make that happen at 8:30pm. She stared at me with a blank face and all I could think was these "professionals" just can't let up somedays. I have run a medical practice for almost 9 years, and medicine need to have humor in it because sometimes thinking about sadness all day long is not good for you or the patient. Chum it up a bit with your patients if the mood calls for it! Anyways, the IUI happened, I hung out for 20 minutes and we headed off to Canada.

The trip to Canada was simple. We started passing the U2 decorated cars and I felt bummed that my Nissan wasn't tricked out in U2 memorabilia. As we prepared to cross the border we found ourselves waiting for entirely too long. The traffic into Vancouver was awful as well. Here I thought we would have several hours to hang out before the show, but of course, my timing is just never that good. We did arrive at our hotel, The Loden and it was awesome. They upgraded us to the most beautiful suite...living room, dining area, bedroom, amazing bathroom etc. It has a killer view and how I love my heated tile floors. These floors are better than ours though as they are individually controlled on and off, not just when the heat is on. I love heated floors like I love heated seats..even in hot weather!

We had a quick drink and bite to eat in the lobby and took the skytrain to the arena. We were sort of dumb and dumber again not knowing exactly where to go.

How I love clean, cool city transportation!

Honestly though, the entire downtown was sold out for this concert and we were able to again just follow the flow of people. We weren't able to hook up with any of our friends who were going to this show, but we did run into my pretend brother David for a moment during intermission.

What I liked about this show was the fact that we had seats, and I could see the entire stage. I actually missed the general admission crowd and vibe until I could see it from above. I can't believe my 5'2" stature survived Las Vegas, what a mess it looked like from above. Our seats were expensive and worth it. The bummer was the sound was a little weird being bounced off the concrete. I look forward to U2 coming to Seattle in June 2010 as they will be playing at Qwest field, an outdoor stadium. This show is meant to be outside for sure!








During the show I started to feel pretty crampy. Then I worried that "everything" was falling out of my uterus so I quit jumping around as much (yes, I'm a jumper and fist in the air U2 fan). Kent told me to quit worrying about this, but it is hard not to. Who knows if the IUI will take, it is only our first attempt. I am doing my best to stay positive, but the waiting is hard. I have been propelled and somewhat pumped up to get myself in a better place, mind..body...and spirit. I have been motivated by fellow bloggers getting pregnant and personal friends taking better care of themselves. I am back on my glucophage, so of course, I am feeling awful. I have to work through these symptoms and I do know that eventually my body will get more accustomed to the drug. I also cleaned out the fridge and pantry and planned our food for the week. Fitness is a priority and Kent and I are working on clearing our calendars to ensure we get some exercise.

Our 2 adventures were amazing and I love my husband for being my partner in crime.

Vegas Baby...U2 part 1

What a whirl wind I have been on. Still feeling like I am spinning a bit, but it has been a fabulous journey. I was bummed that my eggs were still little and we weren't able to do IUI before our Vegas trip but it was probably for the better as we were up late, drank, ate like vulchers and had a great time. We struggled a bit getting from the airport in Vegas to the hotel. It took almost an hour to get our rental car and then another hour to get down the strip and to our hotel, The Venetian. I started getting really ancy and excited. The people in front of us at the Avis rental desk were going to the show and when we were in the car the radio stations were all talking about the show.

I was really getting frustrated by time we checked into the hotel as I wanted to have ample time to relax and prepare for my boys. There was no time to prepare. We literally checked in, changed clothes and inhaled a sandwich at the hotel. Panic started to set in as we were leaving The Venetian as the AARP conference was just getting out. All I could see was a line a mile long to exit the hotel garage. My mind was pushed back to work in Seattle where I am always trapped behind some "blue haired" lady who drives 2mph in our garage. Probably the smartest thing I did on this trip was rent a car for the night to take us to the UNLV stadium. I started realizing that it was about 15 miles outside of Las Vegas and we might have a problem with getting a cab after the show. I did hear that it took some people 2 hours and $200 to get back (bad karma on the taxi drivers).

We started towards the stadium and struggled with the directions. I love the amazing race so I quickly switched into the mode of stranded tourist looking for my next clue box. I noticed all of the town cars and limos heading in one direction, so we followed and lucked out. We arrived about 15 minutes before the Black Eyed Peas started. The weather was about 70 degrees, no clouds in the sky and it felt magical. The stage, the sound, the vibe, it was honestly perfect. We had general admission tickets and did our best to get as close as we could. My friend Lucy and her sisters stood in line at 10am to get into the inner circle of the stage. Her photos are amazing and fill me with jealousy. My husband loves me, but he doesn't love me enough to stand in line for 8 hours just to get a wrist band and wait another 4 hours for U2 to go on.
Do I look excited?


When the Black Eyed Peas played I was sort of surprised by my knowledge of their tunes. Like, I knew the lyrics, almost all of them. I know they are popular, but this aging brain of mine is warped a bit by the music "the kids" listen to. They were seriously fun and Kent and I probably looked at each other for the next two weeks and sang Boom Boom Pow, gotta get that boom boom boom any chance we could. As they played their last song the crowd started getting crazy. Piling in and driving themselves towards the stage. My 5'2" stature proved to not be the winning height as I barely could see anything except the guys neck in front of me.

Hard to tell, but we were pretty close. Can you see the little image of Bono?
My boys would not disappoint though as their stage had the biggest screen that was 360 degrees and I was able to see everything. When the band came on it was a weird feeling, sort of like, am I here, is this really happening. I was jumping up and down and felt free for the first time in a long time. I've been emotionally bogged down for awhile with weight gain and no pregnancy. This U2 show sort of jump started me back into my old self.

The show was amazing. Like honestly, I probably cried 5x. I am an emotional wreck from the clomid and you tack on my favorite band since 1987 (holy shit I am getting old) and there is bound to be some emotions. I loved how my husband endured my stress about getting the tickets, flying to Las Vegas and putting up with 40,000 other super fans. The show could not have been better. I knew within two guitar strums by The Edge what the next song was and the superfan in front of me would high five me with delight. The only downer was feeling like I was going to be crushed at any point and the fact that you couldn't leave to get something to drink or use the bathroom. Oh, unless you have a penis as the boys in front of me proceeded to pee into water bottles during the show. I thought they were smoking marijuana (I crack myself up), as they were acting so shady and covering one another, but nope, they were urinating. Nothing like bottles of piss around your legs to put a nervous damper on the evening. What if in one of my fits of fandom I jumped on the bottle and urine was sent flying everywhere? Lucky for us, that didn't happen.
See the bottle that looks like Mt. Dew...that's NOT Mt. Dew!






After the show we left and had a very very late dinner. We gambled a bit and went to bed. Our suite was fabulous and a king sized bed awaited us, hallelujah. Oh, I can not wait to move so that we may get the luxurious king sized bed we are so craving. The following day we woke up super late and went to find something to eat at 1:00pm. We were both starving and sort of out of it. We walked around the Venetian and pretended like we were still in Italy. Does this look like the Grand Canale (not really) but we did stumble upon Mario Battali's restaurant B & B Ristorante.


Oh it was so yummy. Here is a picture of our starter cheese course.




I thought I had died and gone to heaven...truffled honey and the best blue cheese I've ever had. Brandy marinated cherries and goat cheese, I'm hungry just thinking about it. Once we finished eating we walked around to some of the other hotels and then sat outside at Mandalay Bay and had over priced cocktails. I was trying to look trendy but really, a pony tail doesn't get you far.


I was fortunate enough to hook up with best friend from childhood, Lucy. She came to the Venetian to chat with us for about 45 minutes and it was great to catch up. Lucy and I use to sit in my basement in Helena MT and blast U2 and Bon Jovi. We were in the 6th grade and preparing ourselves for the next jaunt= Junior High. We would make coffee cake, drink diet Pepsi from a bottle, sun tan and rock out to my dads incredible sound system. The speakers were those super old (but not then) giant beasts that were like 4 feet tall. The bass would shake the house and stress out my dog. It was awesome. Seeing Lucy and her sisters just walked me down memory lane. I didn't have my camera so I am snatching one from her blog. Thanks Loose!


After we chatted with Lucy we headed over to Caesar's Palace to see Bette Midler. Again, how awesome is my husband to sit in a venue with Bette's fans...as she calls them, the Gay's, the Jews and the old hippies. The show was hilarious. I loved how many times she made fun of Celine Dion and Cher and the rest of the city. She gets it, she is a total performer and was worth every cent. We stayed at Ceasars to eat at Bobby Flay's restaurant Mesa Grill. My husband is not a dare devil with food but I felt like he should have earned a gold star for ordering the duck taco! Woo hoo to Kent, the man who only eats 4 vegetables. After our late night dinner we left the show and sort of walked around to the various casinos. Vegas is so deceiving and gigantic. You think something is a block away, but it is like a mile. My dogs were barking constantly so we returned to our hotel and chilled out there.

Sunday morning I woke up before Kent and read a little. Then I watched some TV and I finally pitched a fit as I wanted to get up for our breakfast at Bouchon. We discovered Bouchon in Yountville on our mini-moon and haven't forgot it. We showered and got dressed and were thrilled to sit outside. I should have taken photos, but I didn't.


We started with their pastry basket as they honestly have the most amazing pastry chefs. What arrived was not a basket, it was an honest to god platter and we devoured it. I had a croque madame and Kent had waffles with bananas and pecans. OH..we were stuffed but happy. We ventured to the pool but there was no way I was going to get into a swim suit. So we walked to other hotels and lost more money. I am lucky in love, but by no means am I lucky with gambling. On one incident I put my money voucher in the $1.00 machine, hit my bet and watched myself lose $40.00 in 3 seconds. I am no high roller, I like my penny machines where I bid high (a whopping 2 dollars). I seriously screamed when I saw $40.00 leave my credits and felt defeated. I laugh about it now as the game I played was called Keeping Up With The Joneses. Well apparently that wasn't going to happen in Vegas. The rest of the day we hung out and then met Kent's cousin and her family for dinner. We had a nice time and it was good to meet some of Kent's family, as he has so little. Plus their son cracked me up. He was like this very mature 12 year old, like almost too mature. Nothing like a 12 year old kid looking at you and saying things like, "this is the best chicken Parmesan I have ever had" or his quizzing on "what types of shows have you seen while you are in town?" I honestly thought he might pull out a pipe at one point and start smoking and order a scotch on the rocks.


Monday we found ourselves packing and returning to dreary wet Seattle. Vegas is this really weird place. Like I'm not quite wealthy enough, not skinny enough but I'm definitely not on the trashier end either. I think it is what you make of it. We enjoyed the chill out time we had together, seeing my friend and my boys. It was worth every stupid penny I lost! Which by the way we did win some of our lost money back at the airport because how can you sit and watch CNN when Wheel of Fortune is beckoning your call.

Feelin' something

I swear, it as if the clouds have lifted (which they haven't...Seattle is grey and cold) and the birds have begun to sing because the moment I am done taking Clomid I am somewhat brought back to my normal personality. I seriously feel so much better. I am totally jacked for Vegas this week-end and the U2 show. I'm already planning my outfit. You would think it is the first day of school and I need to make a good impression with my new digs. The truth...I'm starting to feel REALLY old lately. Like I'm almost 35 and I've had to see what the kids are wearing. My younger co-worker carries a Toki Doki handbag, but that would be like super wrong on me. Plus a slumped over messenger bag on one side of the body only emphasises the hips. I'm opting for my new grey Converse and this navy shirt and jeans. Just hip enough for people to think, that's a cool older chick. But not too over the top that I'm that chick who is totally in denial about her age.

35..I remember when my mom was 35. She had permed hair, a super tan body and she watched Wheel of Fortune. She also had a 12 year old, that would be me. My mom and I have very little in common. I remember being a kid and how old I thought 35 was. It was ancient. I don't even have kids yet and my mom had a 12 year old. My poor future children. I am kick ass fun, don't get me wrong, but when my AARP membership arrives and my future daughters are still selling Girl Scout Cookies, that is not going to be so cool.

Right now though I am just seriously so happy feeling. I have no clue if we will do IUI on Friday. It will be a mad dash Friday morning as my plane leaves at 11:45. I hope the dude next to me doesn't mind my legs in the air to help with the mobility of my husband's deposit. As long as my seat belt is still on, it shouldn't be a problem. Things are good and I'm doing my best to focus on this. I know this will be a totally fun week-end and I'm not going to let fertility drama stand in my way.

Sabotage & Inspiration

I took a week off from my blog as I felt as if the same stuff was coming to my mind, the same negative thoughts and fears and I just didn't feel like vocalizing them. I felt really pissed about my weight and how it seems like I sabotage my goals. I work hard, it doesn't show on the scale and then I go into a tyrant and sabotage all of my hard work. As I felt myself sort of sliding into that negative place I had to think back to many years ago, when I first started losing weight and what worked for me. The best thing for me was that I did not own a scale. Instead of weighing myself I purchased a beautiful blue coat, something perfect for early spring and walking in park, that was way too small. So small that I couldn't put my arms in it. Monthly I would try on that jacket and in the beginning that just meant putting one arm into it. Over time I worked my way up to my arms fitting, then it was loose enough that when I did get it on my arms could rest at my side. Monthly I would play this game of trying on my special blue coat until I was finally able to unveil it at a party. The bastard finally fit in the winter, and not really the best of weather, but I could finally button it. That jacket, over time, became big, like super big. Like I was able to take the jacket and almost wrap it around me.

It was great to achieve that goal of mine, but my problem was that this goal I had also was a mind game of my happiness. I chose this jacket as my goal and when this weight goal was achieved, I would feel satisfied and successful. Well that did not work, but luckily the jacket is still too big. Over this past week I did find myself eating more and even wanting to have a glass of wine too as I figured, no way could we have gotten pregnant. Again with the sabotage. I was reminded by my trainer that 3 weeks before the wedding I stopped working out and had put on so much weight that I was totally uncomfortable in my tight wedding dress. I worried that something was going to happen and that I wasn't going to get married, so I wouldn't have to worry about fitting in a wedding dress. Such weird drama I put myself through, almost a bit of torture.

The good news is I am seeing this pattern in my life and I was able to find some inspiration over the week-end. Kent and I drove to Portland Oregon to cheer on my trainer and friend Chris as she was running the Portland marathon. This race was a big deal as she has this goal of qualifying for the Boston marathon. Early this year she ran the Vancouver marathon and missed the qualifying time by less than 50 seconds. 50 f*ing seconds. 26.2 miles and to miss it by 50 seconds, it was heart breaking for me. When she decided she was going to run the Portland race, I knew I had to be there. Her partner Shannon was going to be getting into Portland only hours before the race due to work, so I felt like Chris was going to need support. She has been my trainer for 6 years now and has helped me through my weight loss, dating life, training for 1/2 marathons and triathlons. I needed to be there for her, and for me too.

We arrived in Portland and picked her up to drive the course. I was tired just driving the course, let alone thinking about running it. It was decided where she felt she was going to need our cheering and support so Kent and I set out early that next morning to see her. I didn't sleep very well as I was totally nervous and then the spot she wanted us to cheer her on, we couldn't get to. Kent is awesome with navigating and he was able to get us to the mile 19 marker. We waited what seemed like an eternity, and then I spotted the group she was running with. I didn't spot her though, and I panicked. This was her pace group that she needed to run with in order to qualify. A few seconds of panic set in and then I saw her. I started screaming and waving my sign I made for her. I was jumping up and down and then my adrenaline kicked in. As she started running by me I just dropped everything and I jumped in the race. Now I am a big girl and I was wearing jeans, converse, a Dolly Parton hoodie and NOT a sports bra. I didn't care though. I just felt like I needed to talk to her and make sure she could hear me. She was laughing and telling me that she felt good and liked my outfit. I ran ahead, I felt like I was sprinting, just so that I could get this shot.



Here's a photo of me and Shannon getting ready to cheer Chris on!

After we left mile 19 we speeded all over Portland to make it to the finish line. Everything was roped off so I wasn't able to see her cross the finish line. I did see her though as she was exiting the course and you would have thought it was one of my kids out there. I was screaming again as she was in a sea of exhausted runners, some looking like they were on their death bed. Chris did amazing, she finished in under 3 hours and 44 minutes.



What I loved about watching those runners was the dedication I saw. The group that was around Chris's finishing time is sort of a special group of people, not what I would consider to be an average runner. You don't run 8 minute miles for 26.2 miles and be considered average. I don't see these runners as a competition for myself, what I see is a group of people with a goal. There is really inspiration around all of us and I feel as if my poopy attitude is clearing and I am able to see how truly blessed I am. So what if I have PCOS and it might take awhile to get pregnant. So what if I lose a pound a month. Right now it's about taking care of myself and having a good time along the way.

100 and counting

This is my 100th post and I'm shocked I made it here. I still can't quite figure out why I choose to write on this blog. It honestly does help me process my always very active brain and for a few people out there they may find something out of my life and it's successes and mess ups. Being that this is the 100th post I feel a little nostalgic, curious at what my past 99 posts have represented. I can sum it up pretty easily in two words; my life. This is what I write about, it is my sometimes boring, sometimes sad, sometimes glorious life that is all mine.

On this 100th post I could recount yesterday's adventures that included going to a wedding of a workout friend of mine who decided to re-marry her ex husband. Best part of the wedding, her son, who is an Elvis impersonator, who sang no less than 4 songs during the wedding and the toast. I could also recount my first hand look at my husband's high school years as we found ourselves in the very tired looking bar the Time Out in Kirkland celebrating Bothell High School class of 89's 20 year high school reunion. Kent was no Josie Grossie, but he was no superstar either. He was Kent, the really nice guy. Guess what, I love that he was the really nice guy that everyone wanted to be friends with. There were only a handful of spouses and I met this funny spouse named Todd who sat with me while we drank the largest Corona beer we've ever seen. I saw this short haired woman walk past me practically carrying it with two hands. Being the shy person I am I instantly grabbed her and had to inspect the bottle. A 24oz Corona beer, holy crap, are you kidding me. I was so perplexed, I just interrogated the hell out of her. I was like, where did you get this. She said to just order a large Corona. I've never even heard of ordering a Corona this way. A Corona is a Corona, it's a bottle of beer. Well apparently the Time Out has one thing on it's good side, a crazy sized beer that is like a secret handshake to get. So Todd and I decided this beer should only be served to spouses for having to endure a smelly joint and really drunk women who were obviously reliving their glory days that night. I took a photo of the bottle, but really, I should have taken it with my hands around it. By the way, even though I didn't go to BHS, I had the most school spirit and won a T-shirt and baseball cap. The two women who sort of organized the event were trying trying to get people on the makeshift dance floor by louring them with swag. You drink enough of the large Corona's and you'll find yourself cheering for BHS to get your husband a hat he doesn't want and a T-shirt that doesn't fit.

The other thing I could post about for my 100th post is this big follicle I have and wondering if the shot worked and the egg dropped. We didn't do IUI as I honestly had no idea what it was, my husbands junk works and I had no clue how much it cost. When the ARNP was talking to me she talking a mile a minute and I was so confused. She used all of this fertility jargon that I have really no clue about. When she asked about IUI I told her I wasn't a lesbian, so why can't my husband and I just do it. She laughed and gave me instructions on doing it. So we did our business as instructed and we will wait to see if anything happened.

Happy life to me.

Blowing it

This was a packed week-end for Kent and I. Friday night we went to see the comedian Patton Oswalt. These tickets were an anniversary present for Kent, which he was excited about and we totally enjoyed. We attempted happy hour at Brasa before the event, but unfortunately the Metformin I take left me feeling super ill so I didn't get to enjoy myself. Also being on a new health goal sort of dampens my spirits at the bars/restaurants.

Saturday I made us blueberry pancakes (with some of our 11lbs of blueberries!) and I was cautious with my syrup...just a little dip every other bite. I spent the day cleaning and grocery shopping and getting ready to go and see Wicked. This was a show I have been waiting months to see and it was awesome. We were "bad" and treated ourselves after the show to coffee and ice cream. We did share the sundae and didn't finish it.

Sunday I went and had a massage and Kent spent time at his mom's house. We then drove to my parents house as we needed to pick up some items they have been storing for us. While we were driving out there I started feeling really sick again. The nausea from this medicine is the worst part. Also the explosive diarrhea (ED) is not that much fun either. I use ED in any excuse I can to get out of an event etc, because honestly, if someone told you they had ED you wouldn't keep bugging them to go to one more bar for another drink would you? Back to where I was...so I felt really sick again and the only thing that helps with the nausea is food, calming food like peanut butter sandwiches. Having PCOS I really shouldn't have bread etc. Well it seemed like I showed up at my parents house and immediately started grazing. So frustrating as it felt like almost a week's worth of thinking about my food choices etc were just blown away. I just blew my week's effort in two hours.

I am going to remain positive and realize there is no finish line to this race. This food/fitness thing of mine is never going to end. I am ancy to see results and to feel better about myself. I know this weight gain has been over the past 3 years and it will take time to lose. I am staying positive about our future and how to keep Kent and I happy and healthy. I just booked us a trip to Palm Springs over President's Day Week-end. Last year we didn't travel in the grey and depressing winter and it was awful. We will celebrate our joint birthday and valentines day that week-end. If we are lucky, we will be pregnant by then too!

I smell something fishy..

Kent and I have had a fun labor day week-end. Friday night we went to dinner with his best friend (BFF) Fred and his family and friends to celebrate Fred's 39th birthday. We were not overly excited about dining at Chinooks as it is honestly one of those seafood restaurants that remind me of what old people eat at; like a seafood Denny's joint. Kent also doesn't eat seafood so going to this place is like to try to say onay eafood say to someone who doesn't get pig latin. The food was mediocre and I kept thinking about how the place needed a major overhaul but they did do one thing right...the festival of peaches was a "highlight" for this joint and did they make me a mean peach martini. Yummy.

Saturday we found ourselves experiencing our first UW Football game together. We went with friends and tailgated for many hours prior and the Ms. Manners in me was chastised for our considerations. We arrived at a tail gate of a woman I've met twice. Both times it was 5:30am and we were running stairs with my trainer. Not exactly the time to play the getting to know you game. Trying to not "hog and jog" we brought a cooler full of beer, snacks and our own food to grill. WOAH...you would have thought that Kent had literally whipped out his ding dong and pissed all over the joint. People were mad, like down right insulted that we had the nerve to show up with our own food and not enjoy the fruits of their labor. Let me tell you about their labors as well. First of all a 35"+ flat screen with dish network to watch all of the other games going on around the country. More booze than I had seen in years. A complete dining ensemble with chaffing dishes...chaffing dishes people. Then I roll in with my ghetto cooler that squeaks like an old door to a haunted house every time you open it and turkey burgers. The insult was overwhelming when our friends Colleen and Trever pulled out their marinated turkey burgers. Everyone around us was all about meat...ribs, jambalaya. You name it. Only a pansy would eat turkey burgers was essentially the vibe we received. The best part of the tail gate was the fact that we just left that damn cooler. If there was one part of the tailgate experience I regret, it would be not taking a photo of Kent and Trever carrying our cooler. These boys had to carry this cooler for over a mile and Kent is 5'10" and Trever is 6'11". It was like Rob and Big from MTV, lugging our unaware hall of shame party foul.

Trever is not BIG, like Big is. He is just tall, like super tall. Like the perfect beacon at a party if you think you have lost all of your friends. You can spot Trever in a nano-second. I can't find a good photo of the two of them..but here is a photo of Colleen and Trever at our wedding.


The drama continued at our second tail gate stop. It was the DKE tailgate and it was on the other side of the stadium, where the riff raff was. The DKE boys do try. They had a gallon size hand sanitizer, but that was about as exotic of a female touch as this place had. The usual giant tub of crappy mayonnaise salad that is on sale at Safeway, giant sausages and a keg. The difference on this side of the stadium is the youth. How blatantly obvious it was that Kent and I went to school in the 90's. I also almost had to take a B**ch down who was causing such a scene in the honey bucket line that when it was finally my turn, somebody was shaking my bucket, WHILE I AM IN IT, and saying they were going to tip it over. I had been drinking, but not that much, and I literally unlocked it, swung the door open as hard as I could and practically came out swinging. I may be 34 1/2, but I have better health insurance, and a 3 carat diamond ring that will cause your face some damage. I'm so ghetto for even writing this, but I only have one thing to say...bitch please.

The game was totally fun and our friend Shannon (Birdie) was so sweet to get us tickets. Today we were suppose to go and see Bonnie Rait and Tajmahal at the Chateau Ste. Michelle winery but it has been raining so hard, we just didn't go. That is so not like us, but it was it is. We instead had dinner at Tutta Bella and a trip to Molly Moon's for my favorite ice cream in the world, Salted Carmel. This is so delicious, I have literally found myself in line for over 25 minutes. It is worth every calorie.

Now here is where the fishy part comes in. Today, as Kent I were just chillin' on the sofa I saw my friend/ trainer Chris calling. I figured she was saying hi as we did not see each other last night at the game. Instead, she told me that she had gone on one of her training runs today and had a long time to think about me. Having a woman run for 18 miles and "think" about you is not a good thing. Particularly since this woman has been known to hurt my body so bad that I have found myself needing to use the handicapped bathroom as I have to literally levitate with the bars to lift myself down to pee. She wanted to know if I had time for lunch, and to talk. I told her I was pretty busy at work and then she wanted to know what I was doing tomorrow night. I told her Kent and I were free, so she told me great, I'll meet you at Greenlake at 5pm. We can go for run and chat. Whoa. I haven't run in months. Like I know I could possibly hurt myself as my second ass (that layer that is up high on your butt...almost like a muffin top of the back) could give me a concussion from jiggling too much. So now I know she is up to something. I told her my biggest loser challenge was starting in one week. She said great, but she didn't care about what I was doing in a week. She wanted to know what I was doing now. Right now I am sitting here too full from ice cream and letting my fingers get a work out instead of my body. She is up to something. I have found myself doing triathlons, 1/2 marathons etc because she has a vision. I know she is running the Portland marathon in a month and asked if we wanted to come. I was going to shop, she would run. I would make a sign for her and cheer her on. I know she is not going to ask me to race, but I have a feeling she is going to propose something for me. Sort of like the time she had me go up a gentle hike..please, a 4 1/2 mile switchback with a reward lunch of tuna and kale is not my idea of a fair proposal. So tonight may have been my last reward of sorts with food. I've actually been very conscious this past week about my eating. It is a very good thing.

On one final note, my lady business has still not come. I've not had my period since July 28th and I am not pregnant. I've done a series of hormornes to get it to start, but not luck. It's like it is just sort of stuck. I'm trying to not focus on this, but it is sort of hard. I think Judy Blume had a book to help increase your bust...maybe she wrote one about increasing your period???