Germans and Strays

This past week-end Kent and I, along with multiple friends, travelled to Leavenworth to celebrate a friends 40th birthday. I was nervous about going as I have a total snoring problem and I never know what the sleeping situation is. Thank God my husband can tolerate my "heavy breathing". We got out of Seattle late and I kept thinking, shit, is this going to be like the Real World where we are all scrambling for a room? It was a bit, but there was a lovely futon with our name all over it. At least it was in a private room, AKA the mud room, but I'm not going to complain.

Leavenworth is the most bizarre little town. The snow was barely on the ground, so luckily we had no problems with the road.



We all chilled out, wore wigs, had dance party USA and celebrated to our hearts content.



Becs...the birthday girl!


Becs little girl Adia with Kent and I!

That first evening we were there a stray dog was found and suddenly, our party included our new dog Chelsey/Scout. Through some serious investigating we discovered through the microchip that some A**hole dumped their dog in Leavenworth and moved away. When we got a hold of the owner she totally lied and then told us to have the Vet remove her name. So now Chelsey/Scout (couldn't figure out what to name her) is living in Seattle with our friends Trever and Colleen and looking for a home. She was an awesome dog and I know they will find her somewhere to live soon.

My sciatica is totally still acting up. I sat last night having my weekly acupuncture appointment and I just felt bummed about my body. I think it is the fact I am 51 days now without my lady business that is making me just annoyed all together with this body. Tomorrow I am going in for an ultrasound so hopefully the magic wand can figure out what is going on.

Kent and I leave on Thursday for Palm Springs and I couldn't be more excited. We've been going like mad lately and having a really hard time with our cat Stoney, who is really taking a turn for the worse. We are probably going to have to put him to sleep next week and it is just killing me. He has kidney failure and we are doing everything we can, but I think the unfortunate time has come. Stoney has been Kent's buddy for 16 years. It makes me cry to just think about how many homes they have moved around too as a team. One of my favorite cards Kent gave me was one that invited me to move in with him and Stoney and the fact that Kent had a talking with his cat and that Stoney understood he was now #2, I was #1. Sounds freaky, but it was totally sweet. Look at this twosome...love them both!

Birthdays and Life...

TGIF everyone! I mean seriously, what a crazy emotional week. That is just life though and trust me, I am full of emotions!

Last Sunday Kent and I celebrated our 39th and 35th birthdays. In the past we have had blowouts which has included appearances by a Neil Diamond impersonator (who also shares our birthday)
He was the WORST impersonator, which made is all that better. (YIKES...look at my boobs in this shot!)

Back to the current year. Since we are going to Palm Springs in two weeks we didn't travel anywhere, we did a one day stay-cation. I sent Kent an evite a few weeks ago and he was so excited when he opened it, but then realized he was the only person invited. Kent loves a party, but his muffin just didn't want it this year. Next year..when he turns 40, a blowout for sure. I really wanted to just spend the day with Kent and do some fun things that were all a surprise to him. We started with brunch at Cafe Campagne in the market. If it wasn't so packed I would have taken a photo of my croque monsieur which can literally bring a tear to my eye it is so delicious. We had mimosas and frites and loved that it was semi-sunny.


After brunch we went over to Sur La Table, my form of porn, even though I am packed to the gills with kitchen items and I am only a mediocre cook. Kent can not pass up a sale so a newly coveted cheese plate was mine. Upon leaving Sur La Table we ventured on down to the SAM (Seattle Art Museum) for the Michelangelo drawings exhibit and an awesome exhibit of Alexander Calder, who does amazing mobiles. When we were in Venice and went to the Peggy Guggenheim museum she had several of his pieces that were hung throughout her house. Kent was excited to go the museum and we spent about 2 hours there.

After we left the museum we walked across the street to the Four Seasons and went to the Art Bar. I had the delicious dill martini (sounds gross, but quite refreshing) and Kent had a beer.

This was sort of our relaxing and recooperating spot as we then ventured on to Spa de Lago for mani-pedi's. I know what you might be thinking, but it is my birthday too. My girlfriend Susan gave me a certificate there and I really wanted to pamper myself. I had Fran's chocolates and champagne ready so Kent couldn't complain.


The lady who worked over his feet was a riot. When she started doing his treatment I looked at her and said, "the lady who does his feet normally is really crappy. Good luck." Her mouth dropped but Kent started laughing because I am the once forced by that cute smile to work on his feet. I hate it, feet gross me out. I love my husband though and I've just realized that when I pull out that pedicure basket of mine, that means a couples pedicure awaits me.

After I had my fabulous appointment with the OPI color "I'm fondue of you" I gathered our things and we were headed to the last planned event. I have been wanting to eat at Delancey's for several months now. It is a husband/wife team who own the place and the wife Molly is a pretty popular blogger, her site is Orangette.blogspot. I love her photos, her recipes and her overall style. I decided to invite a few of Kent's friends to join us, as I know how much he really does like having a birthday together. Delancey's is the type of place that takes reservations for parties of 6 or more. The place is really small and without a reservation, your looking at an hour plus wait. Well word sort of spread that I was doing Delancey's and I suddenly found us with 13 people who wanted to join us. Crap, that is 1/4 of the restaurant. Molly was awesome though and they just rolled with the punches. We had amazing pizza, like I wish it was just Kent and I as I would have eaten ten times more!





As I noticed the line getting longer and longer and longer I knew we had to give up our 2 tables. Most people split except for Monkia and Miles, our fun friends who we spent Christmas Eve with at the drag queen show and NY's Eve at the moisutre festival. They are a riot and we walked across the street to A Caprice Kitchen for dessert. Delicious!

This was the best birthday I have had in a long time. I feel blessed in many ways and look forward to whatever happens in this upcoming year. Of course I want to get pregnant, but I wanted to last year too. Time and crappy drugs will tell!

Just Breathe

Kent and I had a great week-end. New Year's Day we woke up without hangovers (I was the designated driver..how responsible of me). I made us a yummy egg and bacon panini and we sat around and relaxed. We were invited to two separate eating events, one traditional Scottish the other traditional Japanese. Let's just say that by the end of the evening my gut was freakin' out.

Our first meal was at 1pm, a traditional Scottish meal served by a long lost roommate of Kent's that he reunited with in the parking lot of a Dick's drive-in (sounds dirty, but it's a burger joint). The couple, Peyton and Aimee love to travel and this traditional meal of Haggis, Neeps and Tatties and Mushy Peas is a tradition for them. Peyton happens to be a pretty gourmet cook and he scoured the land for the ingredients of haggis, which is a dish containing sheep's 'pluck' (heart, liver and lungs), minced with onion, oatmeal, suet, spices, and salt, mixed with stock, and traditionally boiled in the animal's stomach for approximately three hours. Peyton came up with about 70% of the ingredients to make it, which by the way I don't really want to know were, but struck out and found a place in Oregon who ships fresh haggis. I will have it known that when they invited us over and told us the menu I said yes, we will come, but no, we will not eat. I've always been a sucker for peer pressure and Kent and I found ourselves be talked into trying it. The haggis was sliced and then fried and covered in brown gravy. I took all of 2 bites, but I did it. This wasn't on my NY's resolutions, but damn it, I'm penciling it in because who in the hell would have thought I would ever accomplish that. The Neeps and Tatties are basically mashed yellow turnip or rutabaga and potatoes. The mushy peas were mushy peas with a mint sauce. I liked the side dishes very much. It was a fun lunch complete with homemade creme brulee and good conversation.


I'm so bummed I left my camera, but here's something I stole off of wikipedia

After our first eating event we stopped off at my friend Susan's to see her no named baby who has since been given the name Jayce. He is just a little nugget who was sitting with dad and that was fine by us. Those brand new ones freak us out, so fragile! Our visit was short as we headed to our friends Chris and Shannon's house for Sukiyaki. I love this dish. It is basically very thin slices of beef in a yummy broth with vegetables, crazy vegetables that I don't have a clue what I am eating, but they taste great. You leave the table bloated like a crazy woman from all of the soy sauce, but it is totally worth it. Every time Chris's mom Sumiko comes to town I ask for a lesson to this dish, but I realize she doesn't measure, she just pours things in. I'm a cook only if I have an exact recipe.

The rest of our week-end was spent organizing, love it! and relaxing. It was so nice to have some time off to tackle some projects and then enjoy a movie. We went and looked at a couple of houses, but this is just not an easy task as housing is a nightmare in Seattle. I questioned if we should live in the suburbs, but I just don't see that happening. I'm so close to downtown that I could walk...not that I ever have, but the point is that I can. One house looked like it was 30 miles from downtown (an exaggeration, yes, but I could never walk that far). This moving this is sort of scary for me. I struggle with change, but it will be fun to live in a new part of town. More than likely we will be renting a home, which is fine as we will still have our current home. I hate the idea of paying a strangers mortgage, but it is a temporary thing. We are both breathing, relaxing, eating well and taking care of ourselves. This is our only job for the time being.

Welcome to 2009

My BFF Susan had her baby boy unexpectedly on Monday morning of this week. Baby boy, AKA "Cake Waffle" was scheduled to arrive on December 31st via a scheduled C-section. I think "Cake Waffle" is going to be a party animal. Apparently he didn't want to have only one night of drinking as he gets older to celebrate his birthday, so he arrived early. I mean really, how much fun is it to have a birthday coincide with a holiday, especially New Year's...you get robbed. Now people will wear hats and have balloons twice in one week to celebrate his special day and the New Year.

Happy Birthday "Cake Waffle!" I can't wait until your parents have a name picked out for you (Cake Waffle is what their 2 year old Mac decided they should name the baby). Mom and "CW" are doing great and getting ready to hopefully leave the hospital today. I'm bummed I left my camera at home, but I doubt Susan would have wanted some glamour shots for my blog. Love Ya Susie!

Christmas 2009

I wasn't quite sure what was going to happen to our holiday cheer and spirit this year. I've been in the total dumps with the fertility issues I have and work has been very trying lately. I attacked and decorated the house with vengeance to literally evoke the Christmas spirit wherever I turned. I forced Kent to listen to Delilah on 106.9 ( I know, gross) the station where sappy Christmas dedications are played for hours on end. Maybe someday I will send Delilah a dedication to play for Kent about how much I love him. Truth be told we probably wouldn't listen to 106.9 during dinner but sadly this station gets the best transmission.

Our Christmas celebration started on the 23rd with a trip to the Paramount Theatre to see the Rockettes. I was looking forward to seeing this show, but within 5, yes 5, minutes of the show starting I knew we were in trouble. It was frickin' awful, like I wanted to strangle myself during almost every act. The dancing by the Rockettes themselves was not that terrible, but the bloody mish mash of holiday spirit in between proved to be too much. We left before the show ended and it was the best decision I made about the show.


Kent looking oh so cute in his fashionable velvet jacket
On Christmas Eve I had to work for a few hours that morning, which ended up not being that bad. Patients were in good moods as was the staff. Kent and I went and picked up him mom and dropped her off at her friends house. Kent's mom has total issues and right now it is best that she hangs out with Sylvia, someday we will find a better balance hopefully and I can handle her condition a bit better. I was worried about doing anything this day as the cyst I had more than likely popped as I had incredible pain for several days in my left ovary. The pain was steady and spiked occasionally. This pain was pretty bad as we were driving out to Kent's Aunt's house, but luckily we managed. Kent's Aunt Lisa has 2 children, and we hung out at her house for a few hours, sang a few songs and then rushed back to Seattle for the evenings true entertainment.


Dina Martina in the flesh, whose to say a picture is not worth a 1,000 words?
First I must admit that when Kent's friend Monika invited us to The Dina Martina Christmas Show I didn't know what to think. I told Kent Jesus would not like this and hanging out at a bar on Christmas Eve just didn't seem right. Monika and Kent convinced me that the holidays were about spending it with friends and family, and truthfully, Monika is like Kent's sister. Monika's boyfriend Miles is from Britain and this was his first holiday without his family so it only felt right to spend it together. When we arrived at the Re-bar I was happy to see the show was sold-out and within 5 minutes of the opening number I knew I was at the right place. I have not laughed that hard in months, many many months. The show was so funny and everyone around us was so nice and full of holiday good will. Tears practically rolled down my face as "she" performed her own rendition of holiday songs. This show literally brought me my spirit back. I walked out of that bar and felt better than I had in months. How I wish I could put some of the performance up on my blog, it just rocked.

As we were leaving Monika and Miles asked us to join them next door for Ethiopian food. I immediately thought, of course, Ethiopian food...it is about as Christmas as attending a drag queen holiday special on Christmas Eve. We walked into the restaurant at 10pm on Christmas Eve and it was very quiet and we were definitely the only non-African patrons. Monika and Miles have both been to Africa several times so they instantly knew what to order. We all washed our hands and dug in. It was spicy and yummy. I didn't quite care for the Injera, which is the spongy like bread that you use to "eat" the food with. No utensils used here, just bread. I did like the assorted vegetarian dips and the lamb wot was quite tasty. We finally left at midnight as I told Mr. Davis that Santa was coming and we needed to stay on his "nice" list. We bid farewell to Monika and Miles and rushed home to fill each others stockings.


Santa was very good to both of us. I love how Kent wraps every one of the items he puts in my stocking. He was so sweet and bought me my beautiful navy handbag that I have been coveting for months.

Kent and I are doing our best to live by a budget (well talking is more like it..talking about being on a budget) so I couldn't justify the purse. Christmas morning though there was a wacko present wrapped like a giant tube and shoved in here was my navy beauty. We then had to hurry and dash to my parents house in Puyallup to have many, many presents to open and food to gorge on.


My Grandma June with the largest box of Russel Stover chocolates ever created. She loves this crappy candy...and she's totally diabetic. She is 88 and rocks though.

This holiday turned out really well. I was so concerned with how emotional I have been recently that I wouldn't be able to enjoy it. I did though, I enjoyed it. I didn't cry when I saw big pregnant bellies or commercials for Folgers coffee. I looked around me and saw this awesome husband of mine and the life we have. This Christmas was very special and I look with great joy to the New Year.

Struggling

This week I am struggling beyond belief. I'm so up and down right now that I can barely handle it. It is strictly a mood thing, an inability to control my moods. I'm crying, I'm sad, I'm frustrated, I'm pissed, I'm every once in awhile elated with joy. The problem though is I feel like a time bomb, never knowing what is going to come out of my mouth or through my body language. Here's what really upsets me, I'm not upset right now about anything. Of course I would like to be pregnant but I understand this is going to take some time and I am in good hands. I'm ready to embark on a new eating plan that was given to me by my new nutritionist. I'm looking forward to the holidays and spending time with Kent, friends and family. I love my holiday decorations and the fun events we have planned. I'm pissed right now that I'm not able to enjoy it because of some drug I took 3 weeks ago. I've wondered if because I didn't ovulate it has made my hormonal surges even more.

Here's a TGIF for my husband and co-workers who are doing their best to put up with me!

Vegas Baby...U2 part 1

What a whirl wind I have been on. Still feeling like I am spinning a bit, but it has been a fabulous journey. I was bummed that my eggs were still little and we weren't able to do IUI before our Vegas trip but it was probably for the better as we were up late, drank, ate like vulchers and had a great time. We struggled a bit getting from the airport in Vegas to the hotel. It took almost an hour to get our rental car and then another hour to get down the strip and to our hotel, The Venetian. I started getting really ancy and excited. The people in front of us at the Avis rental desk were going to the show and when we were in the car the radio stations were all talking about the show.

I was really getting frustrated by time we checked into the hotel as I wanted to have ample time to relax and prepare for my boys. There was no time to prepare. We literally checked in, changed clothes and inhaled a sandwich at the hotel. Panic started to set in as we were leaving The Venetian as the AARP conference was just getting out. All I could see was a line a mile long to exit the hotel garage. My mind was pushed back to work in Seattle where I am always trapped behind some "blue haired" lady who drives 2mph in our garage. Probably the smartest thing I did on this trip was rent a car for the night to take us to the UNLV stadium. I started realizing that it was about 15 miles outside of Las Vegas and we might have a problem with getting a cab after the show. I did hear that it took some people 2 hours and $200 to get back (bad karma on the taxi drivers).

We started towards the stadium and struggled with the directions. I love the amazing race so I quickly switched into the mode of stranded tourist looking for my next clue box. I noticed all of the town cars and limos heading in one direction, so we followed and lucked out. We arrived about 15 minutes before the Black Eyed Peas started. The weather was about 70 degrees, no clouds in the sky and it felt magical. The stage, the sound, the vibe, it was honestly perfect. We had general admission tickets and did our best to get as close as we could. My friend Lucy and her sisters stood in line at 10am to get into the inner circle of the stage. Her photos are amazing and fill me with jealousy. My husband loves me, but he doesn't love me enough to stand in line for 8 hours just to get a wrist band and wait another 4 hours for U2 to go on.
Do I look excited?


When the Black Eyed Peas played I was sort of surprised by my knowledge of their tunes. Like, I knew the lyrics, almost all of them. I know they are popular, but this aging brain of mine is warped a bit by the music "the kids" listen to. They were seriously fun and Kent and I probably looked at each other for the next two weeks and sang Boom Boom Pow, gotta get that boom boom boom any chance we could. As they played their last song the crowd started getting crazy. Piling in and driving themselves towards the stage. My 5'2" stature proved to not be the winning height as I barely could see anything except the guys neck in front of me.

Hard to tell, but we were pretty close. Can you see the little image of Bono?
My boys would not disappoint though as their stage had the biggest screen that was 360 degrees and I was able to see everything. When the band came on it was a weird feeling, sort of like, am I here, is this really happening. I was jumping up and down and felt free for the first time in a long time. I've been emotionally bogged down for awhile with weight gain and no pregnancy. This U2 show sort of jump started me back into my old self.

The show was amazing. Like honestly, I probably cried 5x. I am an emotional wreck from the clomid and you tack on my favorite band since 1987 (holy shit I am getting old) and there is bound to be some emotions. I loved how my husband endured my stress about getting the tickets, flying to Las Vegas and putting up with 40,000 other super fans. The show could not have been better. I knew within two guitar strums by The Edge what the next song was and the superfan in front of me would high five me with delight. The only downer was feeling like I was going to be crushed at any point and the fact that you couldn't leave to get something to drink or use the bathroom. Oh, unless you have a penis as the boys in front of me proceeded to pee into water bottles during the show. I thought they were smoking marijuana (I crack myself up), as they were acting so shady and covering one another, but nope, they were urinating. Nothing like bottles of piss around your legs to put a nervous damper on the evening. What if in one of my fits of fandom I jumped on the bottle and urine was sent flying everywhere? Lucky for us, that didn't happen.
See the bottle that looks like Mt. Dew...that's NOT Mt. Dew!






After the show we left and had a very very late dinner. We gambled a bit and went to bed. Our suite was fabulous and a king sized bed awaited us, hallelujah. Oh, I can not wait to move so that we may get the luxurious king sized bed we are so craving. The following day we woke up super late and went to find something to eat at 1:00pm. We were both starving and sort of out of it. We walked around the Venetian and pretended like we were still in Italy. Does this look like the Grand Canale (not really) but we did stumble upon Mario Battali's restaurant B & B Ristorante.


Oh it was so yummy. Here is a picture of our starter cheese course.




I thought I had died and gone to heaven...truffled honey and the best blue cheese I've ever had. Brandy marinated cherries and goat cheese, I'm hungry just thinking about it. Once we finished eating we walked around to some of the other hotels and then sat outside at Mandalay Bay and had over priced cocktails. I was trying to look trendy but really, a pony tail doesn't get you far.


I was fortunate enough to hook up with best friend from childhood, Lucy. She came to the Venetian to chat with us for about 45 minutes and it was great to catch up. Lucy and I use to sit in my basement in Helena MT and blast U2 and Bon Jovi. We were in the 6th grade and preparing ourselves for the next jaunt= Junior High. We would make coffee cake, drink diet Pepsi from a bottle, sun tan and rock out to my dads incredible sound system. The speakers were those super old (but not then) giant beasts that were like 4 feet tall. The bass would shake the house and stress out my dog. It was awesome. Seeing Lucy and her sisters just walked me down memory lane. I didn't have my camera so I am snatching one from her blog. Thanks Loose!


After we chatted with Lucy we headed over to Caesar's Palace to see Bette Midler. Again, how awesome is my husband to sit in a venue with Bette's fans...as she calls them, the Gay's, the Jews and the old hippies. The show was hilarious. I loved how many times she made fun of Celine Dion and Cher and the rest of the city. She gets it, she is a total performer and was worth every cent. We stayed at Ceasars to eat at Bobby Flay's restaurant Mesa Grill. My husband is not a dare devil with food but I felt like he should have earned a gold star for ordering the duck taco! Woo hoo to Kent, the man who only eats 4 vegetables. After our late night dinner we left the show and sort of walked around to the various casinos. Vegas is so deceiving and gigantic. You think something is a block away, but it is like a mile. My dogs were barking constantly so we returned to our hotel and chilled out there.

Sunday morning I woke up before Kent and read a little. Then I watched some TV and I finally pitched a fit as I wanted to get up for our breakfast at Bouchon. We discovered Bouchon in Yountville on our mini-moon and haven't forgot it. We showered and got dressed and were thrilled to sit outside. I should have taken photos, but I didn't.


We started with their pastry basket as they honestly have the most amazing pastry chefs. What arrived was not a basket, it was an honest to god platter and we devoured it. I had a croque madame and Kent had waffles with bananas and pecans. OH..we were stuffed but happy. We ventured to the pool but there was no way I was going to get into a swim suit. So we walked to other hotels and lost more money. I am lucky in love, but by no means am I lucky with gambling. On one incident I put my money voucher in the $1.00 machine, hit my bet and watched myself lose $40.00 in 3 seconds. I am no high roller, I like my penny machines where I bid high (a whopping 2 dollars). I seriously screamed when I saw $40.00 leave my credits and felt defeated. I laugh about it now as the game I played was called Keeping Up With The Joneses. Well apparently that wasn't going to happen in Vegas. The rest of the day we hung out and then met Kent's cousin and her family for dinner. We had a nice time and it was good to meet some of Kent's family, as he has so little. Plus their son cracked me up. He was like this very mature 12 year old, like almost too mature. Nothing like a 12 year old kid looking at you and saying things like, "this is the best chicken Parmesan I have ever had" or his quizzing on "what types of shows have you seen while you are in town?" I honestly thought he might pull out a pipe at one point and start smoking and order a scotch on the rocks.


Monday we found ourselves packing and returning to dreary wet Seattle. Vegas is this really weird place. Like I'm not quite wealthy enough, not skinny enough but I'm definitely not on the trashier end either. I think it is what you make of it. We enjoyed the chill out time we had together, seeing my friend and my boys. It was worth every stupid penny I lost! Which by the way we did win some of our lost money back at the airport because how can you sit and watch CNN when Wheel of Fortune is beckoning your call.

Sabotage & Inspiration

I took a week off from my blog as I felt as if the same stuff was coming to my mind, the same negative thoughts and fears and I just didn't feel like vocalizing them. I felt really pissed about my weight and how it seems like I sabotage my goals. I work hard, it doesn't show on the scale and then I go into a tyrant and sabotage all of my hard work. As I felt myself sort of sliding into that negative place I had to think back to many years ago, when I first started losing weight and what worked for me. The best thing for me was that I did not own a scale. Instead of weighing myself I purchased a beautiful blue coat, something perfect for early spring and walking in park, that was way too small. So small that I couldn't put my arms in it. Monthly I would try on that jacket and in the beginning that just meant putting one arm into it. Over time I worked my way up to my arms fitting, then it was loose enough that when I did get it on my arms could rest at my side. Monthly I would play this game of trying on my special blue coat until I was finally able to unveil it at a party. The bastard finally fit in the winter, and not really the best of weather, but I could finally button it. That jacket, over time, became big, like super big. Like I was able to take the jacket and almost wrap it around me.

It was great to achieve that goal of mine, but my problem was that this goal I had also was a mind game of my happiness. I chose this jacket as my goal and when this weight goal was achieved, I would feel satisfied and successful. Well that did not work, but luckily the jacket is still too big. Over this past week I did find myself eating more and even wanting to have a glass of wine too as I figured, no way could we have gotten pregnant. Again with the sabotage. I was reminded by my trainer that 3 weeks before the wedding I stopped working out and had put on so much weight that I was totally uncomfortable in my tight wedding dress. I worried that something was going to happen and that I wasn't going to get married, so I wouldn't have to worry about fitting in a wedding dress. Such weird drama I put myself through, almost a bit of torture.

The good news is I am seeing this pattern in my life and I was able to find some inspiration over the week-end. Kent and I drove to Portland Oregon to cheer on my trainer and friend Chris as she was running the Portland marathon. This race was a big deal as she has this goal of qualifying for the Boston marathon. Early this year she ran the Vancouver marathon and missed the qualifying time by less than 50 seconds. 50 f*ing seconds. 26.2 miles and to miss it by 50 seconds, it was heart breaking for me. When she decided she was going to run the Portland race, I knew I had to be there. Her partner Shannon was going to be getting into Portland only hours before the race due to work, so I felt like Chris was going to need support. She has been my trainer for 6 years now and has helped me through my weight loss, dating life, training for 1/2 marathons and triathlons. I needed to be there for her, and for me too.

We arrived in Portland and picked her up to drive the course. I was tired just driving the course, let alone thinking about running it. It was decided where she felt she was going to need our cheering and support so Kent and I set out early that next morning to see her. I didn't sleep very well as I was totally nervous and then the spot she wanted us to cheer her on, we couldn't get to. Kent is awesome with navigating and he was able to get us to the mile 19 marker. We waited what seemed like an eternity, and then I spotted the group she was running with. I didn't spot her though, and I panicked. This was her pace group that she needed to run with in order to qualify. A few seconds of panic set in and then I saw her. I started screaming and waving my sign I made for her. I was jumping up and down and then my adrenaline kicked in. As she started running by me I just dropped everything and I jumped in the race. Now I am a big girl and I was wearing jeans, converse, a Dolly Parton hoodie and NOT a sports bra. I didn't care though. I just felt like I needed to talk to her and make sure she could hear me. She was laughing and telling me that she felt good and liked my outfit. I ran ahead, I felt like I was sprinting, just so that I could get this shot.



Here's a photo of me and Shannon getting ready to cheer Chris on!

After we left mile 19 we speeded all over Portland to make it to the finish line. Everything was roped off so I wasn't able to see her cross the finish line. I did see her though as she was exiting the course and you would have thought it was one of my kids out there. I was screaming again as she was in a sea of exhausted runners, some looking like they were on their death bed. Chris did amazing, she finished in under 3 hours and 44 minutes.



What I loved about watching those runners was the dedication I saw. The group that was around Chris's finishing time is sort of a special group of people, not what I would consider to be an average runner. You don't run 8 minute miles for 26.2 miles and be considered average. I don't see these runners as a competition for myself, what I see is a group of people with a goal. There is really inspiration around all of us and I feel as if my poopy attitude is clearing and I am able to see how truly blessed I am. So what if I have PCOS and it might take awhile to get pregnant. So what if I lose a pound a month. Right now it's about taking care of myself and having a good time along the way.

I smell something fishy..

Kent and I have had a fun labor day week-end. Friday night we went to dinner with his best friend (BFF) Fred and his family and friends to celebrate Fred's 39th birthday. We were not overly excited about dining at Chinooks as it is honestly one of those seafood restaurants that remind me of what old people eat at; like a seafood Denny's joint. Kent also doesn't eat seafood so going to this place is like to try to say onay eafood say to someone who doesn't get pig latin. The food was mediocre and I kept thinking about how the place needed a major overhaul but they did do one thing right...the festival of peaches was a "highlight" for this joint and did they make me a mean peach martini. Yummy.

Saturday we found ourselves experiencing our first UW Football game together. We went with friends and tailgated for many hours prior and the Ms. Manners in me was chastised for our considerations. We arrived at a tail gate of a woman I've met twice. Both times it was 5:30am and we were running stairs with my trainer. Not exactly the time to play the getting to know you game. Trying to not "hog and jog" we brought a cooler full of beer, snacks and our own food to grill. WOAH...you would have thought that Kent had literally whipped out his ding dong and pissed all over the joint. People were mad, like down right insulted that we had the nerve to show up with our own food and not enjoy the fruits of their labor. Let me tell you about their labors as well. First of all a 35"+ flat screen with dish network to watch all of the other games going on around the country. More booze than I had seen in years. A complete dining ensemble with chaffing dishes...chaffing dishes people. Then I roll in with my ghetto cooler that squeaks like an old door to a haunted house every time you open it and turkey burgers. The insult was overwhelming when our friends Colleen and Trever pulled out their marinated turkey burgers. Everyone around us was all about meat...ribs, jambalaya. You name it. Only a pansy would eat turkey burgers was essentially the vibe we received. The best part of the tail gate was the fact that we just left that damn cooler. If there was one part of the tailgate experience I regret, it would be not taking a photo of Kent and Trever carrying our cooler. These boys had to carry this cooler for over a mile and Kent is 5'10" and Trever is 6'11". It was like Rob and Big from MTV, lugging our unaware hall of shame party foul.

Trever is not BIG, like Big is. He is just tall, like super tall. Like the perfect beacon at a party if you think you have lost all of your friends. You can spot Trever in a nano-second. I can't find a good photo of the two of them..but here is a photo of Colleen and Trever at our wedding.


The drama continued at our second tail gate stop. It was the DKE tailgate and it was on the other side of the stadium, where the riff raff was. The DKE boys do try. They had a gallon size hand sanitizer, but that was about as exotic of a female touch as this place had. The usual giant tub of crappy mayonnaise salad that is on sale at Safeway, giant sausages and a keg. The difference on this side of the stadium is the youth. How blatantly obvious it was that Kent and I went to school in the 90's. I also almost had to take a B**ch down who was causing such a scene in the honey bucket line that when it was finally my turn, somebody was shaking my bucket, WHILE I AM IN IT, and saying they were going to tip it over. I had been drinking, but not that much, and I literally unlocked it, swung the door open as hard as I could and practically came out swinging. I may be 34 1/2, but I have better health insurance, and a 3 carat diamond ring that will cause your face some damage. I'm so ghetto for even writing this, but I only have one thing to say...bitch please.

The game was totally fun and our friend Shannon (Birdie) was so sweet to get us tickets. Today we were suppose to go and see Bonnie Rait and Tajmahal at the Chateau Ste. Michelle winery but it has been raining so hard, we just didn't go. That is so not like us, but it was it is. We instead had dinner at Tutta Bella and a trip to Molly Moon's for my favorite ice cream in the world, Salted Carmel. This is so delicious, I have literally found myself in line for over 25 minutes. It is worth every calorie.

Now here is where the fishy part comes in. Today, as Kent I were just chillin' on the sofa I saw my friend/ trainer Chris calling. I figured she was saying hi as we did not see each other last night at the game. Instead, she told me that she had gone on one of her training runs today and had a long time to think about me. Having a woman run for 18 miles and "think" about you is not a good thing. Particularly since this woman has been known to hurt my body so bad that I have found myself needing to use the handicapped bathroom as I have to literally levitate with the bars to lift myself down to pee. She wanted to know if I had time for lunch, and to talk. I told her I was pretty busy at work and then she wanted to know what I was doing tomorrow night. I told her Kent and I were free, so she told me great, I'll meet you at Greenlake at 5pm. We can go for run and chat. Whoa. I haven't run in months. Like I know I could possibly hurt myself as my second ass (that layer that is up high on your butt...almost like a muffin top of the back) could give me a concussion from jiggling too much. So now I know she is up to something. I told her my biggest loser challenge was starting in one week. She said great, but she didn't care about what I was doing in a week. She wanted to know what I was doing now. Right now I am sitting here too full from ice cream and letting my fingers get a work out instead of my body. She is up to something. I have found myself doing triathlons, 1/2 marathons etc because she has a vision. I know she is running the Portland marathon in a month and asked if we wanted to come. I was going to shop, she would run. I would make a sign for her and cheer her on. I know she is not going to ask me to race, but I have a feeling she is going to propose something for me. Sort of like the time she had me go up a gentle hike..please, a 4 1/2 mile switchback with a reward lunch of tuna and kale is not my idea of a fair proposal. So tonight may have been my last reward of sorts with food. I've actually been very conscious this past week about my eating. It is a very good thing.

On one final note, my lady business has still not come. I've not had my period since July 28th and I am not pregnant. I've done a series of hormornes to get it to start, but not luck. It's like it is just sort of stuck. I'm trying to not focus on this, but it is sort of hard. I think Judy Blume had a book to help increase your bust...maybe she wrote one about increasing your period???

Butter, Ferries and Blueberries

This was a very packed week-end of fun for Kent and I. On Friday I was determined to still hold on to my week of good eating so I quickly made us a lower carb meal of chicken strips coated in almond flour and asparagus. It was actually not bad and better yet, I made it so it didn't kill my diet or my wallet. We hurried to catch the film Julie and Julia, which Kent was awesome to agree to my lady business movie. We do try to switch off between male and female films, yet lately, there has been nothing but all male in regards to movies. The film was exactly as I had expected, as I actually read the book. I loved Meryl Streep, I mean seriously, she was so great. I was all teary-eyed and it was so not that type of film. I loved how the lost blogger found herself engrossed in a project that she was determined to finish, regardless of how much it took out of her. I think many people can relate to all of the big ideas we each have and then how far we actually go to execute them, let alone complete them. I could feel her panic, her joy, her defeat and her love as she worked her way through the Art of French Cooking.

As I was watching the movie I was literally dying for French food. I wanted to drown myself in this amazing restaurant Kent and I went to in the Napa Valley called Bouchon. It is a sister restaurant to French Laundry, which is supposedly the greatest restaurant in the United States. Kent and I did not eat at French Laundry as you honestly can barely get a reservation, the prix fixe menu is very set in place with absolutely no changes or alterations and it starts at $250.00 per person without wine or service. Bouchon was amazingly charming and seriously DELICIOUS!!!!!!! It was worth the additional inch to our waistline. There is only one other Bouchon in the US, and it is in Las Vegas, which I am hoping Kent and I can go have a delicious brunch at while we are there in October for U2!!

Here we are at the start of our fabulous meal.

The next morning we ran some quick errands as we were heading over to see my high friend Sara's home she purchased in Indianola. I have only recently reconnected with Sara through Facebook and last summer she purchased a home across the sound. I have lived in Seattle for over 15 years and I have never heard of this little town. It is close to Kingston and Poulsbo, but just a baby little place. Whenever I reach the other side of the sound I always comment how great it is; so beautiful and peaceful. Then something smacks be upside the head and reminds me of the worst thing imaginable; the commute on the ferry. I know that eventually you would get use to this waiting game and the annoyance of peak ferry times and the chance that you can honestly get stuck for a 1-3 hour wait. I know myself; I could not get use to this. Anyways; Sara's place was a full house, not a small cabin type place that I had imagined. It has this beautiful view with a wrap around deck. So great, so peaceful and calm. Kent had never met Sara before, but we spent several hours together just chatting and eating literally a plate full of meat. I told Sara to go low on the carbs, and she wasn't messing around. She literally grilled us a steak, pork tenderloin and some sausages. Love it! My arteries may not, but if I can get a little smaller, I will take it. Hopefully Sara will be able to come over to our home soon, the only problem is that she is highly allergic to cats. So, we shall see.

On Sunday we met my mom at Macy's and shopped for a little bit and had lunch. Then we headed to see Mary Pat and her family who live about 25 miles outside of Seattle in Snoqualmie Falls. I love going to Mary's house because her kids are honestly so funny. Kayton is 6, Brenton will be 3 in Sept and the little one, Jayce, will turn 1 in November. For some reason these little one's seriously like us. Kayton likes me, Brenton likes Kent. We are a good distraction for a little while, but I know we often get the kids totally worked up right as we are leaving. Maybe we are more of a nuisance? Hopefully not as it is always a good time. While we were visiting we decided to go Blueberry picking in North Bend, which is about 10 miles from Mary's house. Her husband Jon stayed home with the baby and the rest of us crammed into Mary's car. Brenton is obsessed with Super Man and wouldn't take his costume off, so Super Man he was. We arrived to pick berries and it was so much fun. Kent grabs this bucket and starts picking. I think my husband went into a trance because I kept looking at him and he was going nuts; combing through the bushes for only the best one's. Brenton and Kayton each had their own bucket and what I loved the most about Brenton was that he would yell out, "I found a blue one," and then he would eat it. I think they should have weighed him before and after picking because he literally ate a few bucks worth! It was awesome. Now I personnally do not love blueberries; I tolerate them. Apparently I am going to REALLY be tolerating them as Kent picked over 10 POUNDS of blueberries! Hello! I don't really want to buy anything in this quantity, let alone fresh fruit!

Clearly Kent was a ROCKSTAR at picking berries; they even put it on the box for him

Now I am sitting here with 10 pounds of fresh fruit. The Martha in me googled on food storage and I will be doing this about 70,000 times as this is the largest pan I can fit in my freezer. Apparently you can't just dump these babies into a bag and freeze them; you need to freeze them on a pan and then dump them in a bag to freeze.


I also found myself with some spare time today and I whipped out these low-carb blueberry muffins. Yeah..they taste about as great as they sound. Someday my taste buds will get use to it.



So here is to butter, ferries and blueberries; my week-end of fun.

Back to Life, Back to Reality

I can make a million excuses as to why I have been unable to get on my computer and recap my daily activities. Kent and I have been super busy this summer and I have honestly been overwhelmed with work. My job does not normally have deadlines but I have a major deadline coming up in 3 weeks and my anxiety is out of control. My life does not have a lot of balance right now. I am going to spend this upcoming week actually trying to find that balance I so desire. Right now though I feel so busy and pre-occupied that it feels like I will never have a grip on things. I know that is not the case though and I have to trust that there are waves of frustration in life and I need to truly work on my flexibility (and I'm not talking my ability to do the splits!)

So for the past few months I have found myself dealing with many things, adventures and emotions. Kent and I were super successful with our home and did all of our major yardwork and landscaping in late May so that we were not bogged down with home projects. Last year our entire summer was devoted to our wedding and our home and I was bound and determined that we did not repeat this. Our home is looking great and we were also finally successful with our refi. Having this new interest rate and terms has honestly lifted the most incredible weight off of our shoulders financially. We are going to be able to make a dent into our debt monthly and it has made us more determined to figure out what exactly we want. Right now I would love to get out of debt and start a game plan on moving in the late spring of next year. We are going to start doing our research and work with a mortgage broker so that we can have a true goal to work towards. We always say we are going to start saving money, but then something always comes up. Kent and I are shoppers and do-er's. We are constantly on the go and that takes some serious money. I like to blame Kent, but truthfully, I am just as bad. Just last night I bought 4 pairs of shoes (1 pair I am going to take back..too tight) and a $160.00 pair of sunglasses. Holy crap...I so don't need those glasses. I was having an ugly day though and right now I feel like my body looks awful and my clothes are tight, so at least I can have some fabulous shades. I'd need to gain a whole crap load of weight in order for those puppies to not fit.

In the middle of June Kent found himself joining me on a 1200 mile round trip to Montana. My friend Emily was having a wedding reception and I really wanted to take Kent. This was going to be the first wedding of my friends back home that I was going to actually have a date. This might sound pathetic, but I don't care, it is the truth of how I have felt for so many years. I was always the single one who had to find something to keep myself busy with when a slow song came on or towards the end of the night when people started becoming a little closer. Kent wanted to fly to MT, but the flight prices were difficult so we took our first road trip. We left Seattle at around 8am and the trip was not bad at all. We stopped off in Ritzville at Zips and had a pretty nasty meal in a dirty place. I haven't been there in years, but my family and I would always stop there when we went to Seattle. We arrived in Missoula at around 5pm. The little hotel was great and we took a small nap. Emily made a recommendation for a wine bar for us to go to and it was great. We had this delicious fondue and the waiter wanted to know if we wanted to add Bison to this. Seriously, I love Montana. I have so many fond memories. How I really wish I could relive just one week of my childhood (Lucy you would so be in it!) Since I have started to keep this blog (I need to be more proactive at it though) I told Kent I needed to have some action shots to support my words. He's not much into flashing camera lights in low lit bars, so here is the best I could get.



After the bar we met up with Emily and a slew of people. It was fun to see her older sister Amy and meet her husband. I have only met Emily's husband KK a few times, but they looked happy and both of their families were thrilled. Now that I have a good understanding of love I really appreciate seeing the coming together of a couple and how amazing it is. Kent did get his first dose of true MT living that night...we left the bars and found ourselves at a casino. It was just a little baby casino that was connected to our hotel. I was not ready for bed so we walked in and I saw that Keno machine right before me. I hated Keno when I was a kid because I never won. I could never get all of my numbers I chose, not even when I only picked 3. I slid down in front of that machine and put a $20 bill in it. I hit max bet, picked 6 numbers and pressed play. Hello...no I did not get 5 out of 6 and win $142.00. I had been drinking so of course I was super vocal and started cheering. I asked the guy next to me how much my credits had equaled and he just mutters...a lot. It wasn't until I hit that cash out button and saw the receipt that I found out what I won. So with my new winnings in hand and a free budlight (sick) I put another $20 in my same machine, picked 6 new numbers, hit max bet and play. Now I am not shitting you when I say I did the same thing...I won another $142.00. I started screaming, I did it again, I did it again. Nobody shared my enthusiasm, except for Kent and the attendant who knew she was going to get another tip out of me. My mom use to gamble a lot, like way too much when we lived in Helena, but now I can see why. You win a few times and you think lady luck is on your side. We stuck around a little longer, just long enough for Kent to lose (he he he).

The next morning we got up and went to the Missoula farmers market. It was so great. I love Missoula. I could see myself living in Missoula. It is a cool/hip college town that happens to be around some really beautiful places. Kent and I hung around for awhile and looked at the booths and the downtown. Something out of the corner of my eye made my hair stand up on my arms...Staggering Ox. I saw that baby staring at me and beckoning me to come in. I wanted to go to the Helena one that I grew up on, but I didn't think we would have time. I looked at Kent and told him that I didn't care if he wasn't hungry, I was so getting my sandwich and bread guts with ranch. Kent looked at me when I ordered and literally said, "I'm not hungry, I'll just have a bite of yours." Damn it, what was I thinking! When we finally got around to eating it (we took it to go) Kent would literally take a bite and like 3 inches of my sandwich would go missing. At one point he says to me, "this is really good." I should have slapped him across the face, but I am married now and apparently what is mine is now his. Next time though...NO sharing!


Look at him sitting here in the restaurant, not even looking excited as we are about to have the best ranch dressing on the planet!

Emily's reception was a ton of fun. It was at a country club that was not foo foo, but just pretty enough. It was a very casual event and it was basically like a big old party with friends you haven't seen in years. I almost needed my high school year book with me as KK is 2 years younger and there were definitely faces I recognized, but no clue on their names. Here are so random photos.






The next day Kent and I left for Helena as we were going to spend one night with my two crazy Aunt's, Donna and Ann. I feel bad that I didn't take any photos, next time. I drove Kent around Helena and it had a weird feeling. Like, things seemed a little run down to me. I saw my old house and the yard was gross and they stained it a weird green. This place may look a little rough in some places but the people are awesome and my memories will always be high and fabulous. Kent also had the pleasure of dining at Taco Treat. He said it was OK, but you wouldn't know by how much he ate. Again, I didn't want to look like a pig so we shared some things. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Kent knows I love him though and it is probably good that we shared, I could have put on 5 pounds in 4 days.

We only had a 4 day trip so we needed to leave early the next morning. The drive home is always yucky. I was bloated and sick from all of the crap I ate (on the way home I literally inhaled 5,000 calories out of boredom). Kent and I had a heated debate for hours on his fraternity and the idea of us starting a business together. I was being very business like (nastyish) and it upset my man. I didn't mean too, but I was being tough and not very flexible. Again..that flexibility thing that needs to be worked on. We are all good now though and my brain keeps thinking of good ideas for us to collaborate on!

MT is/was awesome and I look forward to my next trip there.

Why?

My dad asked me last Sunday, while we were waiting for a performance to start, to explain why I have a blog. Why would I want to air my dirty laundry? I don't really look at a blog as a way to air dirty laundry. I actually view it as a tool to stay close with friends and family, provide insight into this crazy brain of mine and at times to communicate secretly with my husband...honey, the dishwasher needs to be emptied. I have always been a person who enjoyed journaling but this is a new way. It allows me to barf out a ton of information in a relatively quick pace as my typing skills are quite good. I love to be able to at times post a picture or joke and to easily look back on my previous posts.

The other thing that I appreciate is at times the sheer honesty I write about. I am so grateful to people who tell the truth, tell it like it is and don't sugar coat everything. Right now I have had serious holiday poopy pants (my reference only) as I am struggling to find the celebrations of the past. It is scary right now for many people. Unemployment, insecurities about future prospects, 401K's and the fear of the unknown has really settled in. I have felt frozen at times due to my fear of paying my mortgage, even though my job and Kent's is secure. I feel like nothing is truly secure right now and I don't see the point in just keeping it to myself and pretending the issues are not there. Now granted very few people read this blog, but I know the 2 who do (and you know who you are) have always liked my honesty.

I hope that this blogging thing continues for me, particularly over the next few years when there is the possibility of kids (God help me) new homes, careers etc. I love to look back at my past years of journaling (1994 was a doozie) and learn from what I have felt and what seemed like such a crisis at the time. Maybe I will mature in front of the 2 of you, or just say something funny once in awhile. Either way, I am here to stay.

You've got to have friends...

Before I was married, or even dating Kent, I felt like my phone rang off the hook. By Tuesday I pretty much knew what I was going to do over the week-end. I am fairly social and would rather be with friends than at my apartment by myself with my sweet dog Frank Kelley.

Can you believe how cute he is!

I was very active with my friendships and worked hard at them. I remembered birthdays and planned social outings as much as I could. As time has passed though I have found myself slowly less social, or I should say social in a different way. Before I met Kent I would come home after a day of working in a busy medical practice where I was constantly moving, talking and thinking and I would just sit and watch TV, read a book and walk Frank. I found ways to occupy my time and I did get lonely now and then. I would often call my friend Susan and we would chat constantly, even though we had emailed all day long too. Susan was my person, sort of like Meredith and Christina on Grey's Anatomy. That is just us, we talk and talk and always have each other's back. That is a cool feeling to just know you have a person.

Susan & I a few years ago

Now that I have been in a relationship for the past 2 years and recently married I have found myself reaching less and less for the phone or my calendar to plan events. I have someone to eat with, go to the movies, shop (I know, I can't believe it either) and offer companionship. I don't have to schedule this time because Kent and I are a team, we are constantly together and checking in.

Recently I was thinking to myself that my own phone is quiet silent. I will have the occasional phone call, but it is pretty much silent. It makes me sort of sad, but it is understandable. As I have changed, so have many of my friends and relationships. Some are having babies, some are dating, some are moving and starting new careers. People change, relationships change, life changes. I struggle a bit with change but I know that this is just a natural progression. I also know how much I love my friends and how important their friendships are to me.

One of the things that I have enjoyed about this blog is the newly rekindled friendship I have with my friend Lucy. We met one another at 4 Georgians Elementary School in Helena Montana. We lived in the same neighborhood, only a few blocks away. We did so many things together, we were true buddies. I remember how much we would laugh and how we had big plans for our futures. We would do the craziest things, all that are too many to tell. We have different lives, but I can still remember our love of Bon Jovi, how we would watch TV in my parents basement and how I was the same height as she was in the 6th grade. Lucy has surpassed my height by many, many inches, but that's ok. She now has a family of 3 boys, a husband whose on a new adventure and finally done with school, but she did something so wonderful...even through all of this she came to my wedding. She left her family and made a special trip to see me get married. We hadn't seen each other for several years, I think our high school reunion was the last time. When we saw one another at my wedding I was so elated. This feeling reminded me of when I was leaving for Seattle to go to college. I was one of the first people to leave for school and we were at a party with many people. We each left the party separately, but I realized I didn't get to say good-bye and spend a few moments with my friend. At 3am I ran over to her house, like I would have when I was 9 years old and we hung out until 5:30am, when my parents and I were suppose to be leaving for Seattle.

I have been reading Lucy's blog for several years now and I have so enjoyed seeing her family and her life. I don't have the family Lucy does or the same responsibilities, but when I read her posts I can still hear her voice, her laugh, and I feel like I am getting an audio reading of her life. Having Lucy make such huge leaps and bounds to make it to my wedding, where I literally had 5-10 minutes with her, proves to me how strong friendships can be. How even though it was only a few minutes, it meant so much to me. We may not be running over to each other's houses anymore, or sharing a Diet Pepsi and watching Beverly Hills Cops on the VCR, but we can still find one another through this world wide web.

My gratitude today is my friends. Regardless of how often I see them or speak to them, they are still my peeps and I love that about each of them. Thank you Lucy for reminding me of this.




PS...Sorry I had to steal your picture--I didn't carry a camera with me that day!