I haven't touched my blog in over a week, I feel out of sorts a bit and I just didn't feel like writing anything down. I've just been all over the place this past week. Things have been fabulous and then swoosh, my emotions kick in and I'm in the dumps. I have had some awesome revelations over the past few days about money, stress and fear. They are all rolled up into one giant ball and every once in awhile it gets flung at me and nails me right in the gut. Knowing a little more of what I've been able to "uncover" in the deep parts of my brain has definitely helped. I'm not going to hash it out here, but hopefully I will be able to remember this mantra and not allow myself to go into such stressful places.
This past week I've been reminded of how lucky we all are after the earthquake in Haiti. I complain about my tendinitis, a headache, shin splints etc, but truthfully, that sheer pain and torture those people are going through is almost unbearable to watch. All of those kids who are without parents. All of those parents without their children. I get confused by disasters and the why's of their place, particularly in a religious sense. An area that is already on the verge of being one of the most distraught in the world, and now they face this. I don't really know how to react, but seeing the photographs and video makes me humble as I sit in my lovely home.
Kent and I are still doing awesome with our fitness and nutrition. I can not tell enough people about taking a daily dose of fish oil, the true oil, not the capsules. I put a dose into about 2oz of Kefir and gulp it down. Kent and I both have been excellent about our supplements, water intake and exercise routine. I really need to work on my stress levels though as stress will wipe out all of these other really proactive things I have been doing.
This upcoming week Kent and I have our birthday on Sunday. I'm looking forward to a positive week and a fun week-end. I can't believe I am going to be 35. Really, it just seems like a pivotal age of no longer being a "young" person. I did get an Iphone this week-end to make my best attempt at getting hip like the kids and an old lady in the grocery store yesterday stopped me to tell me how beautiful my skin was. I guess being 35 with technology and botox on my side is how I will ring in this new birthday. Here's to a good week for everyone.
Showing posts with label Lightbulb moment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lightbulb moment. Show all posts
TGIF
Today I have begun a journey that I hope to continue over the next 4-6 weeks. This is a journey to pick myself off of the "floor" and rediscover who I am. I'm ashamed at the constant neglect of myself and my emotions. Last night I sobbed to Kent, asking him to let me quit my job, as the stress and emotional overload is overwhelming. Knowing that is not an option for many reasons I've realized that I can either wallow in pity and continue falling further and further, or I can reach out for help and reach within myself as well.
Yesterday my BFF Susan was reminding me of how every goal I have wanted I have achieved. We've known each other for many years. She and I met while I worked at the Westin hotel and I was finishing up at the UW. She has watched me graduate, conquer weight loss and fitness goals of 1/2 marathons and triathlons and truly test myself to the maximum by allowing myself to find the courage to date which ultimately allowed me to meet and marry the most incredible man. Since we have been married though I have had a secret underlying fear of infertility. I have known that I have PCOS and that this is the leading cause of infertility. Being that I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would find the courage to allow someone to love me, I was not worried about the pregnancy thing. My marriage is wonderful, but this fear of infertility is robbing it of the joy that was once there.
Today I found myself reading a book that I have had on my shelf for quite some time. It is a book about one's emotions and how much of a prisoner we are within ourselves. I've combated years of not feeling worthy, regardless of the relentless pursuit I put towards things. I'm a 100% or nothing kind of lady. This is not life though, this is a death sentence as I can not be perfect all the time. The quote that really stuck out for me was referring to emotional freedom and how we can view our emotions and the stronghold they have on us. "To make this a reality (emotional freedom) you must begin to see each event of your life, uplifting or hurtful, earthshaking or mundane, as a chance to grow stronger, smarter, more light-bearing. But here's where many of us hit a wall. We're ashamed of feeling afraid, inadequate, lonely, as if we've failed or done something wrong. No matter what you've experienced, there is always hope for change and healing. It's a miracle within reach. Don't be afraid to want it."
For some reason that is just resonating with me. I'm so angered and feel robbed by infertility and the medications I need to combat that problem. I'm afraid all the time. I'm pushing my fear and sadness down with foods that do more harm than good. I've lost that spirit within myself that is always a show stopper (I'm great in a crowd). I have gratitude though that I am able to see the good in life, the good in my friends and I have never faltered on finding joy for others and their successes. I'm a cheerleader, a really big boned cheerleader for the world who is struggling to find a hoorah.
My TGIF for today is to myself, for finding the courage to come to work after a hallacious week and for taking a small step forward to that woman I use to be. She is surely not lost, she is just a bit cloudy.
"When it looked like the sun wasn't gonna shine anymore, God put a rainbow in the clouds." Dr. Maya Angelou
Yesterday my BFF Susan was reminding me of how every goal I have wanted I have achieved. We've known each other for many years. She and I met while I worked at the Westin hotel and I was finishing up at the UW. She has watched me graduate, conquer weight loss and fitness goals of 1/2 marathons and triathlons and truly test myself to the maximum by allowing myself to find the courage to date which ultimately allowed me to meet and marry the most incredible man. Since we have been married though I have had a secret underlying fear of infertility. I have known that I have PCOS and that this is the leading cause of infertility. Being that I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would find the courage to allow someone to love me, I was not worried about the pregnancy thing. My marriage is wonderful, but this fear of infertility is robbing it of the joy that was once there.
Today I found myself reading a book that I have had on my shelf for quite some time. It is a book about one's emotions and how much of a prisoner we are within ourselves. I've combated years of not feeling worthy, regardless of the relentless pursuit I put towards things. I'm a 100% or nothing kind of lady. This is not life though, this is a death sentence as I can not be perfect all the time. The quote that really stuck out for me was referring to emotional freedom and how we can view our emotions and the stronghold they have on us. "To make this a reality (emotional freedom) you must begin to see each event of your life, uplifting or hurtful, earthshaking or mundane, as a chance to grow stronger, smarter, more light-bearing. But here's where many of us hit a wall. We're ashamed of feeling afraid, inadequate, lonely, as if we've failed or done something wrong. No matter what you've experienced, there is always hope for change and healing. It's a miracle within reach. Don't be afraid to want it."
For some reason that is just resonating with me. I'm so angered and feel robbed by infertility and the medications I need to combat that problem. I'm afraid all the time. I'm pushing my fear and sadness down with foods that do more harm than good. I've lost that spirit within myself that is always a show stopper (I'm great in a crowd). I have gratitude though that I am able to see the good in life, the good in my friends and I have never faltered on finding joy for others and their successes. I'm a cheerleader, a really big boned cheerleader for the world who is struggling to find a hoorah.
My TGIF for today is to myself, for finding the courage to come to work after a hallacious week and for taking a small step forward to that woman I use to be. She is surely not lost, she is just a bit cloudy.
"When it looked like the sun wasn't gonna shine anymore, God put a rainbow in the clouds." Dr. Maya Angelou
Week 2 of Biggest Loser
This is the start of week two for our Biggest Loser adventure and I have had several light bulb moments.
1)This is not a temporary thing that I should be thinking about. This weight loss goal should not even be considered a goal, as there is no finish line. This is a lifestyle change.
2)I hate having the write the above crap. It sounds motivational and preachy. Here's the thing, it is all true. It is why I have struggled for years. You can not be successful if you do not make lifelong changes. I can not go back to having several glasses of wine, bread and cheese as a meal. It is not going to happen.
3)Moderation. This is a word that is just not in my vocabulary. I'm sort of a "go big or go home" kind of gal. When I want something, I want it. I am that way with shoes, purses, home items etc. Food is a tricky one for me as I have such a rough relationship with it. I put things on my NO list for as long as possible. Then I cave in and suddenly it is gorge city for a day or even longer. Then I feel guilty and start the same terrible cycle I have for years.
This was a really good week for me and Kent. We both had a 4 pound weight loss. Do we both know most of that is water? You bet! Did we both get in exercise though and make better choices? Yep, so I see this as a win in the Davis household.
For week two my goal is to focus on my fitness. This is the top priority. If this means that we eat at the Whole Food salad bar all week so that there is less time in the kitchen and more time in the gym, then fine. We need to get this habit to stick, the habit of daily fitness. Kent and I are excellent at coming up with excuses for why we don't have time to exercise, but honestly, we do. We watch enough TV, computer surf etc to make it to our gym or run outside daily. We feel better when we are done and I want our family to be that family that walks, rides bikes, hikes etc. Kent and I were both not raised in an environment of exercise, we are going to start that ritual right away.
Knowing what I know about my body...insulin resistance, PCOS etc, I need to do better. I can mope all I want about how it is unfair that my body works against me to lose weight, how it processes foods differently. Really though, those are just obstacles that I can learn to overcome. I have a giant brain that has soaked in quite a bit about food and nutrition. There are days though that I know I am angry that this is my body, that this is what I have to work with. Having the possible fertility issues has only made things more difficult for me to accept. I am going to accept them though because I really have no other choice. No point in denying these facts and then have a donut.
When you know better, you do better. Here's to week two and exercise galore!
1)This is not a temporary thing that I should be thinking about. This weight loss goal should not even be considered a goal, as there is no finish line. This is a lifestyle change.
2)I hate having the write the above crap. It sounds motivational and preachy. Here's the thing, it is all true. It is why I have struggled for years. You can not be successful if you do not make lifelong changes. I can not go back to having several glasses of wine, bread and cheese as a meal. It is not going to happen.
3)Moderation. This is a word that is just not in my vocabulary. I'm sort of a "go big or go home" kind of gal. When I want something, I want it. I am that way with shoes, purses, home items etc. Food is a tricky one for me as I have such a rough relationship with it. I put things on my NO list for as long as possible. Then I cave in and suddenly it is gorge city for a day or even longer. Then I feel guilty and start the same terrible cycle I have for years.
This was a really good week for me and Kent. We both had a 4 pound weight loss. Do we both know most of that is water? You bet! Did we both get in exercise though and make better choices? Yep, so I see this as a win in the Davis household.
For week two my goal is to focus on my fitness. This is the top priority. If this means that we eat at the Whole Food salad bar all week so that there is less time in the kitchen and more time in the gym, then fine. We need to get this habit to stick, the habit of daily fitness. Kent and I are excellent at coming up with excuses for why we don't have time to exercise, but honestly, we do. We watch enough TV, computer surf etc to make it to our gym or run outside daily. We feel better when we are done and I want our family to be that family that walks, rides bikes, hikes etc. Kent and I were both not raised in an environment of exercise, we are going to start that ritual right away.
Knowing what I know about my body...insulin resistance, PCOS etc, I need to do better. I can mope all I want about how it is unfair that my body works against me to lose weight, how it processes foods differently. Really though, those are just obstacles that I can learn to overcome. I have a giant brain that has soaked in quite a bit about food and nutrition. There are days though that I know I am angry that this is my body, that this is what I have to work with. Having the possible fertility issues has only made things more difficult for me to accept. I am going to accept them though because I really have no other choice. No point in denying these facts and then have a donut.
When you know better, you do better. Here's to week two and exercise galore!
What's that spell...
Lately I am feeling like a cheerleader to the world, complete with my bullhorn trying to pump up the crowd of those around me. Many of my friends were cheerleaders in high school so I was privy to the learning of the cheers all summer long (AKA..too fat to be a cheerleader, but not an active learner and giant banner maker.) I loved when they came up with routines and would practice in the yard. Takes me back to when I wanted to be in Razzle Dazzles in the 2nd grade. Again, I was too fat for sequined outfits and dancing at the crappy mall in Helena MT. I wanted to dance so bad that I would use scotch tape and tape my toes just like Jennifer Beals in Flashdance.
(sorry for the small images...I am not tech savvy)
In high school we were the Bruin's and those cheers are stuck in my head. Regardless of what type of team support I'm at, if a bouncy lady starts to chant, I'll automatically start to give her a B. GIVE ME A B....
Today my boss called me and asked if he could meet with me for 5 minutes. First of all there is never 5 minutes of a meeting with him. No matter how hard I try to shut up, I always have something to say. So we sat in my office, and the only reason for the meeting was my boss was just trying to pump me up. His goal was to tell me what a great job I am doing and that maybe tonight I should have a margarita. When I told him I was on a diet, he asked if I needed a gift certificate to Gene Juarez. I laughed, said no thank you, and he told me to give myself a virtual Margarita every hour tonight. Hmmm.. GIVE ME AN R.
Prior to this meeting I decided I was pretty much fed up with this BS that is my lady business. I called my doctors office and was very polite, as I know at some point I will turn into that potential ball of tears patient who thinks she is the only woman on the planet who can't get pregnant. Anways, I called and left a VM to let them know that it has been 42 days since my last period and the hormones I took two weeks ago have not kicked in yet. They are awesome and called me back right away. I let them know that I was a mere 15 seconds away as I am only 2 floors above them and if they wanted to see me, I could make it happen. Well 45 minutes later I'm naked from the waist down having an ultrasound. My business is just stuck up there. No clomid yet. On a positive note there were no cysts on my ovaries, everything "down there" looked normal and she could see a bunch of eggs just hanging out in the sack. There is nothing like having a vaginal ultrasound and telling the ARNP that you met 5 minutes ago to hit that sack like a pinata with her wand and maybe those eggs would start popping out. GIVE ME A U.
Before I sat down at the computer today I started thinking about this blog I write and sort of my purpose of doing it. In the beginning I thought that my "journey" I would be writing about would be little antidotes of my daily life and the general humor I try to see in them. The occasional perfect photo, the recap of holidays and events, the pondering of one's soul. I never realized what a resourceful tool it would become for me to really think about things. I'm pretty honest about what I write except for one thing; I have tried to censor my terribly poor potty mouth. I might say crap in my blog, but trust me, my brain is screaming the word shit. I'm just a full fledged potty mouth. In the 6th grade I would walk home from school with Lucy, Kevin and Jason (Hi Lucy!) and we would have contests to see who could go the longest without swearing. I was always in last place. I was a loser with a mouth that sounded like a 42 year old woman whose been driving a long haul truck for 17 years. I still am to this day. For the sake of anyone out there who reads this though, I will do my best to censor as there are ways to get one's point across without swearing. But somedays I really just have to drop a motherf*cker here or there to be able to really understand my true emotions. GIVE ME AN I.
The more I think about my life, the more I realize how fortunate I am. My husband is awesome and he really gets me. When we met one another on Match.com, that's right, we logged on for love, I used the tag line Eye of the Tiger. Kent would email me and then make references about Mr. T. Now I loved the A-Team and I knew how to "Pity a fool" but I had no clue what he was talking about. We still met though because really, a free drinks a free drink. It wasn't until we met face to face at Thaiku that I made the connection that Mr. T was in Rocky III and that Eye of the Tiger was the theme song to the movie. I tried to tell Kent my connection of Eye of the Tiger was my friend Carrie teaching me the complete moves in the second grade as she was the lucky one to get to be in Razzle Dazzle and wear sequined full length gloves complete with pink fringe. I may not have been a true Razzle Dazzle, I was a generic wanna-be who danced in my unfinished basement, along with my Flashdance tape and did everything I could to make my happiness. On Sept 12th Kent and I will celebrate our 3rd year anniversary of our first date. That date has a ton of significance to me as I honestly had a series of crazy lady visions and seeing a pretty awesome future ahead of me. I walked into work that next day and told my co-workers that I was in trouble..this guy rocked. Want to know how much my husband rocks...look at these bad boys he had made for our wedding... GIVE ME AN N.
So what does this random potpourri of my cheerleader brain spell....it might spell Bruin here, but truthfully it is spelling happiness. Happy to have my life, my tribulations, my drama, my struggles as a chunky chick trying to lose weight and get pregnant (huh?) and my fabulous husband laughing his ass of alongside me. I can cheer all I want for everyone else, but recently, I'm realizing it's OK to shake a pom pom or two my way as well.
(sorry for the small images...I am not tech savvy)
In high school we were the Bruin's and those cheers are stuck in my head. Regardless of what type of team support I'm at, if a bouncy lady starts to chant, I'll automatically start to give her a B. GIVE ME A B....
Today my boss called me and asked if he could meet with me for 5 minutes. First of all there is never 5 minutes of a meeting with him. No matter how hard I try to shut up, I always have something to say. So we sat in my office, and the only reason for the meeting was my boss was just trying to pump me up. His goal was to tell me what a great job I am doing and that maybe tonight I should have a margarita. When I told him I was on a diet, he asked if I needed a gift certificate to Gene Juarez. I laughed, said no thank you, and he told me to give myself a virtual Margarita every hour tonight. Hmmm.. GIVE ME AN R.
Prior to this meeting I decided I was pretty much fed up with this BS that is my lady business. I called my doctors office and was very polite, as I know at some point I will turn into that potential ball of tears patient who thinks she is the only woman on the planet who can't get pregnant. Anways, I called and left a VM to let them know that it has been 42 days since my last period and the hormones I took two weeks ago have not kicked in yet. They are awesome and called me back right away. I let them know that I was a mere 15 seconds away as I am only 2 floors above them and if they wanted to see me, I could make it happen. Well 45 minutes later I'm naked from the waist down having an ultrasound. My business is just stuck up there. No clomid yet. On a positive note there were no cysts on my ovaries, everything "down there" looked normal and she could see a bunch of eggs just hanging out in the sack. There is nothing like having a vaginal ultrasound and telling the ARNP that you met 5 minutes ago to hit that sack like a pinata with her wand and maybe those eggs would start popping out. GIVE ME A U.
Before I sat down at the computer today I started thinking about this blog I write and sort of my purpose of doing it. In the beginning I thought that my "journey" I would be writing about would be little antidotes of my daily life and the general humor I try to see in them. The occasional perfect photo, the recap of holidays and events, the pondering of one's soul. I never realized what a resourceful tool it would become for me to really think about things. I'm pretty honest about what I write except for one thing; I have tried to censor my terribly poor potty mouth. I might say crap in my blog, but trust me, my brain is screaming the word shit. I'm just a full fledged potty mouth. In the 6th grade I would walk home from school with Lucy, Kevin and Jason (Hi Lucy!) and we would have contests to see who could go the longest without swearing. I was always in last place. I was a loser with a mouth that sounded like a 42 year old woman whose been driving a long haul truck for 17 years. I still am to this day. For the sake of anyone out there who reads this though, I will do my best to censor as there are ways to get one's point across without swearing. But somedays I really just have to drop a motherf*cker here or there to be able to really understand my true emotions. GIVE ME AN I.
The more I think about my life, the more I realize how fortunate I am. My husband is awesome and he really gets me. When we met one another on Match.com, that's right, we logged on for love, I used the tag line Eye of the Tiger. Kent would email me and then make references about Mr. T. Now I loved the A-Team and I knew how to "Pity a fool" but I had no clue what he was talking about. We still met though because really, a free drinks a free drink. It wasn't until we met face to face at Thaiku that I made the connection that Mr. T was in Rocky III and that Eye of the Tiger was the theme song to the movie. I tried to tell Kent my connection of Eye of the Tiger was my friend Carrie teaching me the complete moves in the second grade as she was the lucky one to get to be in Razzle Dazzle and wear sequined full length gloves complete with pink fringe. I may not have been a true Razzle Dazzle, I was a generic wanna-be who danced in my unfinished basement, along with my Flashdance tape and did everything I could to make my happiness. On Sept 12th Kent and I will celebrate our 3rd year anniversary of our first date. That date has a ton of significance to me as I honestly had a series of crazy lady visions and seeing a pretty awesome future ahead of me. I walked into work that next day and told my co-workers that I was in trouble..this guy rocked. Want to know how much my husband rocks...look at these bad boys he had made for our wedding... GIVE ME AN N.
So what does this random potpourri of my cheerleader brain spell....it might spell Bruin here, but truthfully it is spelling happiness. Happy to have my life, my tribulations, my drama, my struggles as a chunky chick trying to lose weight and get pregnant (huh?) and my fabulous husband laughing his ass of alongside me. I can cheer all I want for everyone else, but recently, I'm realizing it's OK to shake a pom pom or two my way as well.
Managing expectations
Recently I've felt very squeezed by work, home life, family etc. I feel as if I'm not managing expectations very well or doing the best at providing crystal clear communication. I've been working on my boundaries though and that's been a beautiful thing.
Yesterday I had a friend from the past send me a facebook friendship request. I have wondered for some time where this person's life has carried them. We've had no communication for the past 8 years and we left on very harsh words. My own mentality is stronger and wiser now and knows that people can change, I certainly am not the same person. Situations change, emotions change and I am in control of my personal feelings and boundaries. I'm unsure of where this will lead, but the email I received brought a smile to my face.
Yesterday I met with my trainer/friend Chris and we went for a run in the pouring rain. I looked like Ozzy Osbourne by time we returned to her home for Turkey and Kale soup (she has this damn thing with Kale). As Chris was asking me about my weight loss goals I did my best, between gasping breaths, to explain my weight loss is no longer about my calorie intake or my exercise. My connections to my personal well-being and my weight are very strong right now. I see how much my own expectations of my weight loss drive me to go in polar directions. It is all or nothing with me, and this is not a manageable expectation. I'm really beginning to see this problem I have with food as something that I can manage. I don't want to turn to a drug or turn to a program to give me guidance. I am my own guidance. I understand my body, I know so much about nutrition and if I don't know something, I know how to figure it out. I don't want to rely on drugs, God, a sponsor or self help group to uplift me and give me some weird out of body experience to lose weight. My body will lose weight when I treat it properly and provide it the tools to do so. Managing my expectations is going to be probably the most challenging thing of all.
Yesterday I had a friend from the past send me a facebook friendship request. I have wondered for some time where this person's life has carried them. We've had no communication for the past 8 years and we left on very harsh words. My own mentality is stronger and wiser now and knows that people can change, I certainly am not the same person. Situations change, emotions change and I am in control of my personal feelings and boundaries. I'm unsure of where this will lead, but the email I received brought a smile to my face.
Yesterday I met with my trainer/friend Chris and we went for a run in the pouring rain. I looked like Ozzy Osbourne by time we returned to her home for Turkey and Kale soup (she has this damn thing with Kale). As Chris was asking me about my weight loss goals I did my best, between gasping breaths, to explain my weight loss is no longer about my calorie intake or my exercise. My connections to my personal well-being and my weight are very strong right now. I see how much my own expectations of my weight loss drive me to go in polar directions. It is all or nothing with me, and this is not a manageable expectation. I'm really beginning to see this problem I have with food as something that I can manage. I don't want to turn to a drug or turn to a program to give me guidance. I am my own guidance. I understand my body, I know so much about nutrition and if I don't know something, I know how to figure it out. I don't want to rely on drugs, God, a sponsor or self help group to uplift me and give me some weird out of body experience to lose weight. My body will lose weight when I treat it properly and provide it the tools to do so. Managing my expectations is going to be probably the most challenging thing of all.
I'm no Jesse Jones
I had a lightbulb moment this morning and a big revelation regarding my desire to constantly solve other people's problems and please those around me....
First I need to back track though. I have an issue when people seem upset, or when a problem needs to be fixed or if I see someone crying on the street; I have this uncanny desire to help them. For some reason I have always been a peace keeper in my family and social cirlces. This has made me worry all too often about everyone around me which leaves very little energy for myself. I can even remember a time in college, my first year at Seattle University, and a stranger came up to my room and knocked on the door. I opened the door, only to have this woman tell me she was referred by my friend Molly and that I was a really great listener and she was feeling troubled. Holy crap, are you kidding me? This is my life, I am a problem solver. I don't know how to do anything else. My sister complains to me that sometimes she just wants to vent and I am immediately wanting to solve her problems. I've spent a year trying to fix Kent's mom and her bi-polar moods, yet that is so not possible. Here's where I am worried. I can't turn this off. I worry about everyone and everything. Over time though I am getting consumed by other's issues which leaves me thinking that maybe I am turning into Jesse Jones.
Ok. Let me see if I can actually get this to work. This is Jesse Jones. The insanely crazy and annoying King 5 anchor who has his own nightly segment called, Get Jesse. Here is what I love about him, the way he signs off from each segment. When people have been wronged, they get Jesse. When they have bought a faulty product and can't return it, they get Jesse. I am so not techy enough and this is the best I could do. Here is a link to a video of Jesse helping a man get his rebate.
Seattle Video | News Video | TV Video | KING 5 News | KING5.com
Posted using ShareThis
I don't want to be Jesse Jones any longer. I don't want my family to call me as often as they do to complain about one another. I can't fix it. I just received a bill for $450.00 from my therapist today and here is what I have learned, I can't fix everything. Why couldn't I have listened to Kent? His advice is free. No, I need to pay a lady to beat this into my head.
So today I have decided to put down my microphone and have that camera man find another gig. I am no longer Jesse Jones. I am just Lisa and I am through being the problem solver in my family. I can offer advice, only if it is requested, otherwise I plan on putting myself in a bubble and just living my life.
First I need to back track though. I have an issue when people seem upset, or when a problem needs to be fixed or if I see someone crying on the street; I have this uncanny desire to help them. For some reason I have always been a peace keeper in my family and social cirlces. This has made me worry all too often about everyone around me which leaves very little energy for myself. I can even remember a time in college, my first year at Seattle University, and a stranger came up to my room and knocked on the door. I opened the door, only to have this woman tell me she was referred by my friend Molly and that I was a really great listener and she was feeling troubled. Holy crap, are you kidding me? This is my life, I am a problem solver. I don't know how to do anything else. My sister complains to me that sometimes she just wants to vent and I am immediately wanting to solve her problems. I've spent a year trying to fix Kent's mom and her bi-polar moods, yet that is so not possible. Here's where I am worried. I can't turn this off. I worry about everyone and everything. Over time though I am getting consumed by other's issues which leaves me thinking that maybe I am turning into Jesse Jones.
Ok. Let me see if I can actually get this to work. This is Jesse Jones. The insanely crazy and annoying King 5 anchor who has his own nightly segment called, Get Jesse. Here is what I love about him, the way he signs off from each segment. When people have been wronged, they get Jesse. When they have bought a faulty product and can't return it, they get Jesse. I am so not techy enough and this is the best I could do. Here is a link to a video of Jesse helping a man get his rebate.
Seattle Video | News Video | TV Video | KING 5 News | KING5.com
Posted using ShareThis
I don't want to be Jesse Jones any longer. I don't want my family to call me as often as they do to complain about one another. I can't fix it. I just received a bill for $450.00 from my therapist today and here is what I have learned, I can't fix everything. Why couldn't I have listened to Kent? His advice is free. No, I need to pay a lady to beat this into my head.
So today I have decided to put down my microphone and have that camera man find another gig. I am no longer Jesse Jones. I am just Lisa and I am through being the problem solver in my family. I can offer advice, only if it is requested, otherwise I plan on putting myself in a bubble and just living my life.
