I smell something fishy..

Kent and I have had a fun labor day week-end. Friday night we went to dinner with his best friend (BFF) Fred and his family and friends to celebrate Fred's 39th birthday. We were not overly excited about dining at Chinooks as it is honestly one of those seafood restaurants that remind me of what old people eat at; like a seafood Denny's joint. Kent also doesn't eat seafood so going to this place is like to try to say onay eafood say to someone who doesn't get pig latin. The food was mediocre and I kept thinking about how the place needed a major overhaul but they did do one thing right...the festival of peaches was a "highlight" for this joint and did they make me a mean peach martini. Yummy.

Saturday we found ourselves experiencing our first UW Football game together. We went with friends and tailgated for many hours prior and the Ms. Manners in me was chastised for our considerations. We arrived at a tail gate of a woman I've met twice. Both times it was 5:30am and we were running stairs with my trainer. Not exactly the time to play the getting to know you game. Trying to not "hog and jog" we brought a cooler full of beer, snacks and our own food to grill. WOAH...you would have thought that Kent had literally whipped out his ding dong and pissed all over the joint. People were mad, like down right insulted that we had the nerve to show up with our own food and not enjoy the fruits of their labor. Let me tell you about their labors as well. First of all a 35"+ flat screen with dish network to watch all of the other games going on around the country. More booze than I had seen in years. A complete dining ensemble with chaffing dishes...chaffing dishes people. Then I roll in with my ghetto cooler that squeaks like an old door to a haunted house every time you open it and turkey burgers. The insult was overwhelming when our friends Colleen and Trever pulled out their marinated turkey burgers. Everyone around us was all about meat...ribs, jambalaya. You name it. Only a pansy would eat turkey burgers was essentially the vibe we received. The best part of the tail gate was the fact that we just left that damn cooler. If there was one part of the tailgate experience I regret, it would be not taking a photo of Kent and Trever carrying our cooler. These boys had to carry this cooler for over a mile and Kent is 5'10" and Trever is 6'11". It was like Rob and Big from MTV, lugging our unaware hall of shame party foul.

Trever is not BIG, like Big is. He is just tall, like super tall. Like the perfect beacon at a party if you think you have lost all of your friends. You can spot Trever in a nano-second. I can't find a good photo of the two of them..but here is a photo of Colleen and Trever at our wedding.


The drama continued at our second tail gate stop. It was the DKE tailgate and it was on the other side of the stadium, where the riff raff was. The DKE boys do try. They had a gallon size hand sanitizer, but that was about as exotic of a female touch as this place had. The usual giant tub of crappy mayonnaise salad that is on sale at Safeway, giant sausages and a keg. The difference on this side of the stadium is the youth. How blatantly obvious it was that Kent and I went to school in the 90's. I also almost had to take a B**ch down who was causing such a scene in the honey bucket line that when it was finally my turn, somebody was shaking my bucket, WHILE I AM IN IT, and saying they were going to tip it over. I had been drinking, but not that much, and I literally unlocked it, swung the door open as hard as I could and practically came out swinging. I may be 34 1/2, but I have better health insurance, and a 3 carat diamond ring that will cause your face some damage. I'm so ghetto for even writing this, but I only have one thing to say...bitch please.

The game was totally fun and our friend Shannon (Birdie) was so sweet to get us tickets. Today we were suppose to go and see Bonnie Rait and Tajmahal at the Chateau Ste. Michelle winery but it has been raining so hard, we just didn't go. That is so not like us, but it was it is. We instead had dinner at Tutta Bella and a trip to Molly Moon's for my favorite ice cream in the world, Salted Carmel. This is so delicious, I have literally found myself in line for over 25 minutes. It is worth every calorie.

Now here is where the fishy part comes in. Today, as Kent I were just chillin' on the sofa I saw my friend/ trainer Chris calling. I figured she was saying hi as we did not see each other last night at the game. Instead, she told me that she had gone on one of her training runs today and had a long time to think about me. Having a woman run for 18 miles and "think" about you is not a good thing. Particularly since this woman has been known to hurt my body so bad that I have found myself needing to use the handicapped bathroom as I have to literally levitate with the bars to lift myself down to pee. She wanted to know if I had time for lunch, and to talk. I told her I was pretty busy at work and then she wanted to know what I was doing tomorrow night. I told her Kent and I were free, so she told me great, I'll meet you at Greenlake at 5pm. We can go for run and chat. Whoa. I haven't run in months. Like I know I could possibly hurt myself as my second ass (that layer that is up high on your butt...almost like a muffin top of the back) could give me a concussion from jiggling too much. So now I know she is up to something. I told her my biggest loser challenge was starting in one week. She said great, but she didn't care about what I was doing in a week. She wanted to know what I was doing now. Right now I am sitting here too full from ice cream and letting my fingers get a work out instead of my body. She is up to something. I have found myself doing triathlons, 1/2 marathons etc because she has a vision. I know she is running the Portland marathon in a month and asked if we wanted to come. I was going to shop, she would run. I would make a sign for her and cheer her on. I know she is not going to ask me to race, but I have a feeling she is going to propose something for me. Sort of like the time she had me go up a gentle hike..please, a 4 1/2 mile switchback with a reward lunch of tuna and kale is not my idea of a fair proposal. So tonight may have been my last reward of sorts with food. I've actually been very conscious this past week about my eating. It is a very good thing.

On one final note, my lady business has still not come. I've not had my period since July 28th and I am not pregnant. I've done a series of hormornes to get it to start, but not luck. It's like it is just sort of stuck. I'm trying to not focus on this, but it is sort of hard. I think Judy Blume had a book to help increase your bust...maybe she wrote one about increasing your period???