TGIF..a little late

I have two things that I feel are worthy of a TGIF, which I have not done lately. First of all, thank you baby Jesus for making my business come. It was to the point that I was starting to get really pissed off at my body again, and I've been angry with this body since I was 4 and I started my first diet. Today was my first day of Clomid, and I will have an ultrasound in about 10 days to see if things are progressing. Still trying to stay positive. I'm happy things are at least moving down there.

This morning I met my trainer Chris at Greenlake at 7:30am. We had people over at our house until 11:30pm last night, so there wasn't a ton of sleep to be had and I was not terribly excited about working out so early. Chris wanted to cheer on a group of women she trains who were participating in a race. I did not register or compete. Instead, I ran sprints, did push-ups, dips, pull-ups, squats etc, while she was cheering her people on and timing me at the same time. About 27 minutes into the race she saw one of her first "people" and I was stunned, we were both stunned. The woman we saw first was a 43 year old Mother, Wife etc who had joined Chris's bootcamp series about 15 months ago. I remember meeting her in May 08. That was an awful month of bootcamp because it literally poured almost everyday and you are outside, rain or shine. 5:30am in May is brutal, particularly in the rain. This woman has continued with Chris's bootcamps and I couldn't believe what I saw. She went from an 18 minute mile to running this race in about a 9 minute mile pace. She has lost over 50 pounds and was beaming. I haven't seen her for quite awhile, as I had some injuries, got married etc. I basically have not been disciplined with my fitness and have let myself go. I found this woman after the race and I just walked up to her and gave her the biggest hug. I told her how awesome she was running, how great she looked etc. She then looked at me and said I was her inspiration, that Chris had told her back in May 08 of my successes and she has held onto this all along. I sort of was taken back by this and then I felt embarrassed by how I have not been my own inspiration. I give, give, give and then there is no time left for me.

As I started to leave the event, I just lost it. I was surrounded by honestly, at least a 1,000 women, and I just started sobbing. Chris didn't know what to do. She is a tough cookie, but has a tender heart buried deep down. I was just sobbing as I had to let go of that guilt I have that I let myself go and that I have not been taking very good care of myself. Normally I eat when I feel this pain, but I decided to just have my tears, if that was what needed to happen. I'm not happy about sobbing at Greenlake, in front of tons of people, but sometimes things need to happen for a reason.

My TGIF for this week is happiness about my business and SUPER happy for the small impact I made on a complete stranger. Seeing her today has helped reconfirm this new way of thinking about myself and my needs is not a waste of time. I think, no, I know, that this person is MY new inspiration.