My new love

I have a new love in my life, a sweet little nugget named Carter Davis who was born on 10-14-10. The time(s) leading up to his delivery were a bit traumatic but all was forgotten once I heard that cry and the announcement that "it's a boy!" As I lay there unable to focus/breathe/move due to an unscheduled C section, Kent looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, "it's Carter!"

This has been a complete whirlwind. Carter was induced twice and both times he said, hell no, I'm not coming out. The second time we tried I was not going home without a baby in my arms, no matter what. The 24 hours leading up to his arrival was traumatic in the sense of multiple treatments to get him to drop and my cervix to dilate. Also knowing fully well that I wanted an epidural after we reached a 4 we started the process, and what a process it was. I thoroughly explained to the anesthesiologists that I was very difficult to numb at the dentist etc. They probably didn't believe me, but on the 5th (FIFTH) time of punching through my back, inserting probes to the left and right and realizing that I was still not numb, I began to panic, as did they a bit. I held still on and off again for over 2 hours while no less than 4 doctors worked on me. I finally panicked and hit the wall a bit and sort of sobbed to Kent that I was terrified the epidural was not going to work and that I would not have my head wrapped in the right place for a natural childbirth. I had been given Petocin for over 12 hours and the contractions were coming every 2 minutes, but the baby was not moving. The physician on-call, who I really liked, told me that she would give me another hour to get something to progress or we would need to discuss a C-section. I told her no discussion, let's just do it. Here is where my enthusiasm was probably too much. It was like the hospital went into overdrive. Suddenly Kent is dressing, they are prepping me, carting me around the hospital, throwing me on a new bed with bright lights and a spinal tap in my back....it was too much.

Panic started to set in when they had numbed me up to my neck, for fear of not numbing me enough. I couldn't feel myself breathe and I honestly feared this unknown. Then I started dry heaving and vomiting. Kent's eyes showed fear as well and I started yelling at him as I was already painfully aware of how awful this situation was. I could hear the physicians chatting about my amazing abs (I had a tummy tuck 5 years ago and apparently the stitching inside is quite nice). As I closed my eyes and asked God for help through this terrifying 15 minutes I finally heard what I had been waiting 41 weeks for, my little baby's cry. It was intense, it was beautiful and unforgettable. They quickly took Carter over to the exam area and he was given the thumbs up. Kent brought him over to me and I told Kent he needed to hold and love Carter as I was not able too as all of our birthing books and classes talk about the instant skin to skin contact between the mom and baby. As Kent did this I realized I was the luckiest woman in the world and finally, my dreams have come true.

It has been almost 2 weeks since Carter was born. In this time I have experienced the pain of a C section, incredibly difficult hormonal adjustments, severe blood pressure problems which have panicked many, but...it has not changed my love for this new little man of mine. Kent is such an amazing dad, I can not say enough about how helpful he is. Kent is SO in love with Carter, and it just warms my heart as Kent had a very odd and at times "trying" childhood with both of his parents so I worried a bit about his own bonding with his children. I shall not worry anymore.
Our new family of three is in such a good place right now. We are taking each day as it comes and we are focusing on all of the good we have around us right now. I wake up every few hours, and even though I am exhausted, I am still so excited to hold Carter and feed him. Life is beautiful!

The most important post

That might be too dramatic of a title, but honestly, it is how I am feeling right now. It is about 1pm and in 6 hours I am going to check in to the hospital and finally have this baby. Last week we checked in and did the same thing, but after 24 hours and Shim not budging, we went home without my baby in my arms. I cried a few tears as I was getting out of my hospital gown, but I am wise enough to know that if Shim didn't want to come out, and both myself and he/she were fine, than it just was not time. I didn't really have any mind games or doubt about my inability to get this baby moving along and into the world. For once in my life I just took it as it came.

Now that is has been almost a week it is time for us to once again start this process rolling. I told Shim I feel bad that he/she is getting an eviction notice today, but it is time. I feel guilty that I haven't told my family etc, but after what happened last time, we are not telling anyone until things have progressed nicely. My cervix is still super tight and I'm about 1.5centimeters dilated, the same amount I have been for weeks. Tonight we will start some medication and we will continue until Shim and I can work together or we will have a C-section. Either way, I am ready. I am nervous about the process of giving birth, but I know that I can handle this.

So as I am preparing today, I'm finding myself in almost a state of denial. I've been curled up on the couch watching the worst TV ever. Did you know there was a reality show based on Southwest Airlines and their crazy passengers? Who knew, but that crazy drama filled 30 minutes has been cracking me up all day. I really should go and sweep, vacuum the floors and clean the bathrooms, but I would rather be glued to this show to see the drama unfold of missing luggage and missed connections.

In the back of my mind though is the realization of what the nurse said to me yesterday morning. She told me to pack my bag, be at the hospital at 7pm and be prepared to stay until you can take your baby home. Knowing that this is my last day in our home as Kent and I is bizarre. I've been so clingy to him lately, knowing that everything is going to change. Last night we tried to have dinner out and I was just in a tough spot. I didn't feel good and all I could think about was that this was our last night together, without worrying about Shim or finding a babysitter.

What I do know is what an awesome dad Kent is going to be. I can see the excitement on his face about what we are embarking on together, parenthood. We are filled with joy and anxiety. We are also such a good team that I feel as if we will be able to conquer anything. I feel confident in about abilities to lean on one another and to get help when we need it. We have similar ideals regarding the bringing up of of little one and where our priorities/goals lie. We both want more for Shim than we want for ourselves. Yet, we want Shim to understand the value of hard work, the value of kindness and gratitude.

Whoever we meet in the next few days, we wish for he/she to be healthy and prepared for a life full of opportunity and love.


I remember when we were having a wedding photos taken and this cute couple was crossing the bridge we were on. Our photographer Yvonne thought this was a sign of things to come. Soon we will be strolling with Shim in our stroller!

Baby Room

Well, we are past due now. I feel like part one of the pending birth story is due, but that will be another post. I keep walking past Shim's room, wondering when I will know if I am putting a little boy or girl in that crib. We are anxiously waiting, but knowing how stubborn Kent and I are, it is no wonder our baby is still enjoying that warm place in my belly.

Since I can't present Shim yet, I can at least show off Shim's space. For years I have loved Winnie-the-Pooh, not the Disney version, but the original version by A.A. Milne. That beloved Pooh and his friends have a special place in my heart. When we moved into our home in April I knew exactly where Shim's room would be, it would be the room that overlooked the Heron reserve we live on. It looks like we live in the forest, sort of like Pooh bears 100 Akre woods. This became my inspiration. I didn't want to tell people that the room was going to be inspired by Pooh as I knew I would get SO much stuff, and I already had enough. Plus I am a classic Pooh girl only. I decided that I wanted to make it look like the forest that Pooh and his friends live in. I wanted clouds on the ceiling, a forest on the walls and the rug I wanted to find needed to look like grass. It took some time to gather everything, but I am so pleased with how it turned out. It is just pure happiness.



















Kent and I found a woman on Craigslist who came to the house and painted the clouds, tree and characters. I just love them. I originally only wanted Pooh, the tree and the clouds, but Kent thought that Pooh needed his friends so they are sort of hidden around the room. I love the chair that Kent picked out as it is functional, comfortable and cool looking at the same time.

Now all we need is to have a baby (-: