My new love

I have a new love in my life, a sweet little nugget named Carter Davis who was born on 10-14-10. The time(s) leading up to his delivery were a bit traumatic but all was forgotten once I heard that cry and the announcement that "it's a boy!" As I lay there unable to focus/breathe/move due to an unscheduled C section, Kent looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, "it's Carter!"

This has been a complete whirlwind. Carter was induced twice and both times he said, hell no, I'm not coming out. The second time we tried I was not going home without a baby in my arms, no matter what. The 24 hours leading up to his arrival was traumatic in the sense of multiple treatments to get him to drop and my cervix to dilate. Also knowing fully well that I wanted an epidural after we reached a 4 we started the process, and what a process it was. I thoroughly explained to the anesthesiologists that I was very difficult to numb at the dentist etc. They probably didn't believe me, but on the 5th (FIFTH) time of punching through my back, inserting probes to the left and right and realizing that I was still not numb, I began to panic, as did they a bit. I held still on and off again for over 2 hours while no less than 4 doctors worked on me. I finally panicked and hit the wall a bit and sort of sobbed to Kent that I was terrified the epidural was not going to work and that I would not have my head wrapped in the right place for a natural childbirth. I had been given Petocin for over 12 hours and the contractions were coming every 2 minutes, but the baby was not moving. The physician on-call, who I really liked, told me that she would give me another hour to get something to progress or we would need to discuss a C-section. I told her no discussion, let's just do it. Here is where my enthusiasm was probably too much. It was like the hospital went into overdrive. Suddenly Kent is dressing, they are prepping me, carting me around the hospital, throwing me on a new bed with bright lights and a spinal tap in my back....it was too much.

Panic started to set in when they had numbed me up to my neck, for fear of not numbing me enough. I couldn't feel myself breathe and I honestly feared this unknown. Then I started dry heaving and vomiting. Kent's eyes showed fear as well and I started yelling at him as I was already painfully aware of how awful this situation was. I could hear the physicians chatting about my amazing abs (I had a tummy tuck 5 years ago and apparently the stitching inside is quite nice). As I closed my eyes and asked God for help through this terrifying 15 minutes I finally heard what I had been waiting 41 weeks for, my little baby's cry. It was intense, it was beautiful and unforgettable. They quickly took Carter over to the exam area and he was given the thumbs up. Kent brought him over to me and I told Kent he needed to hold and love Carter as I was not able too as all of our birthing books and classes talk about the instant skin to skin contact between the mom and baby. As Kent did this I realized I was the luckiest woman in the world and finally, my dreams have come true.

It has been almost 2 weeks since Carter was born. In this time I have experienced the pain of a C section, incredibly difficult hormonal adjustments, severe blood pressure problems which have panicked many, but...it has not changed my love for this new little man of mine. Kent is such an amazing dad, I can not say enough about how helpful he is. Kent is SO in love with Carter, and it just warms my heart as Kent had a very odd and at times "trying" childhood with both of his parents so I worried a bit about his own bonding with his children. I shall not worry anymore.
Our new family of three is in such a good place right now. We are taking each day as it comes and we are focusing on all of the good we have around us right now. I wake up every few hours, and even though I am exhausted, I am still so excited to hold Carter and feed him. Life is beautiful!