When life hands you lemons...

This past week, actually couple of weeks have been difficult. My left ovary has been the only one that has really done anything...produced a large enough follicle with the potential to ovulate. This past month I did not ovulate, but I have been crampy and really uncomfortable at times. I finally decided to face the music and had an ultrasound today that confirmed my suspicions...a cyst larger than a lemon in my left ovary. Damn it! I'm frustrated as it stops the TTC for as long as it is there and it gets in the way of my exercise. My trainer is really frustrated with me and this is just another log on the fire of excuses that is flaming out of control. I was so proud of myself this past week-end as I was feeling optimistic about getting control of my body, and hopefully my mind and my emotions.

I remember when I first started writing this blog. I was going to talk about my life and what is rambling inside this brain of mind. In no way did I think this crap I've been talking about for the past 6 months was going to be part of my vocabulary. I felt so sad today when I called Kent and told him about the cyst and how everything is on hold until it goes away. I feel bad that I am the one with problems. It is humbling at times and it is also a slap in the face. I'm doing my best to take everything one day at a time. Knowing that I have the next 6 weeks off from TTC and that I will be drug free is a pleasant thought. I plan to take this time off to my advantage. I'm embarrassed at how much weight I have gained...25 pounds. It is so hard for me to lose weight and to know that I have just slid further and further every month is so sad. Today is not about a pity party, it more of a very rude awakening.