I'm coming out

Crap, I outed myself at work today and I'm furious at myself. No, I'm not a lesbian, I'm a non-ovulating woman who struggles with baby talk under pressure. Here's the quick and dirty. My boss was discussing with me the trials of the Seattle school district and how he would like to give me some information on picking a house in the right neighborhood, how to change districts etc, if Kent and I were planning on a family someday. I had briefly mentioned a year ago that we wanted a family and we sort of discussed my work schedule and obligations and the flexibility around this. After he made this statement I felt the flush of my face kick in and I was visibly upset. I couldn't come up with a lie about my sudden watery eyes and I'm just pissed. I basically said that we have been trying for awhile and we are having some fertility complications. I explained I was on medication and it is so mood altering that some days I can barely make it to the end without wanting to rip the face off of anyone 10 feet around me. My boss gets this as his family came from the help of science. I feel so upset right now about this, and I don't quite know why. I don't want the poor me look or the next time work is really stressful for it to be thought that it is all in my head (or moods by the drugs) and not the simple fact that I am overwhelmed with work.

I feel sad right now. I haven't thought about babies for several weeks, and it has been awesome. I've been taking care of myself with good food, my vitamins (including daily fish oil) and fitness. I'm excited by all of the plans I have made us for throughout 2010. This planning though is really a precursor to focus on the fact that I am travelling, going to concerts, plays etc to help me get through the months of waiting to see if we are pregnant. It's good to be occupied by something other than my lady business.

Diana Ross...sing it! I'm coming, out...I want the world to know...got to let them know.