The first post....

Really, what does one post as their first attempt at blogging. I have never professed to be an author but I often pick up a journal to write down my thoughts and process them more than I generally need to. Can I chat with the best of them, absolutely, but why in this type of arena? I don't know if anyone will ever see this blog, I still don't know who I will share it with. There is a bit of a sense of community and honesty that goes in blogging and sharing your world. At times I miss living in a small town and the closeness it possesses. I am reaching a really pivotal time in my life where I feel a little out of sorts, sort of wandering into the unknown. This is no mid life crisis---this is a mere conversation with myself about the journey I have begun, and one where I am not alone.

Kent and I have been married for a little over 2 months and it has been a bit of a roller coaster. We have known each other for a little over 2 years. I joke that my first year I spent my energy getting him to love me and our second year we spent planning our wedding. Now we are official, I have a new title--Wife. I never truly thought that I would have found someone to accept all of my true self, but I did. I still wake up some days and see Kent lying there and think..."who in the hell is that?" That man is the person I love the most in this world. The person who honestly has turned my 33 years on this earth upside down.

For the most part I thought I would spend my years on this earth as the great friend, good daughter and employee. My heart always wanted the labels of wife and mother, but my brain too often blocked these notions. Now I am finding myself in truly unknown territory.

What I know to be true though is that my heart is wide and open. Kent and I recognize the fact that we are in our 30's embarking on this adventure and we both have a wild amount of stubbornness and humor. We know that we want to enjoy ourselves as much as we can before we have a family. Starting a family a little later (which is far more common) has its plus and minuses. Kent and I are smart enough to realize how difficult it is to have a family, and we are also terrified by the notion.

This is our journey and it may become one that falls perfectly in place or one that takes some major detours. Thank God I am an optimist though and I see only beautiful things. I love you baby...