On Wednesday I will be able to purchase, or attempt to purchase tickets to the U2 show in Vancouver BC. I really have loved this band since 1987. I'm not loving how difficult and ridiculous it is becoming to see them live. I am a fan club member with a presale code and even that will not ensure that I get a ticket for Kent and I. My first U2 show I sat behind the stage, but it was still amazing. As the ticket prices increase and the demand is so difficult you start to expect a bit more than just a rock and roll show. I actually found myself debating if I should purchase the VIP seats at a mere $515.00 per ticket. Not only will I get a ticket, but I will get a beer and wine pre-funk party with all of the other posers who took the easy road out and bought their way into the show. I really, really want to see them, but for $1030.00, the cost of gas, hotel and souvenirs....I'm going to really have to think about it. I've thought about it and hell no. I keep thinking I will be fortunate enough to get tickets and I will practice "the secret" which really has been working quite well.
Friday night Kent and I did enjoy happy hour, but it was not so happy feeling the next day. I splurged and had wine, cheese, bread etc. My body has not had this in quite some time so I was basically sick as a dog..a true dog. I know better, yet I don't always do better. We did go and buy me a few pairs of pants at Anne Taylor and I did have to by a size 14 "curvy" but I was glad to find myself back into those pants. This frustrating body of mine is going to realize that we have a ways to go still, but at least we are moving in the right direction. We have two weeks until Italy so I am going to do my best to push it and stay focused.
TGIF
My TGIF posts are to be about what I am grateful for, not for the common phrase describing the joy that the week-end is near. I'm breaking this rule today as I am grateful that today actually is Friday. It has been a long week at work as I am preparing to be gone for almost 3 weeks. Many to-do lists and thinking of "what ifs" to help educate the staff before I leave.
Today as I was getting ready I had a vision of myself sitting at a bar with my husband for happy hour...I'd like to think all of my hours are happy when I am with my husband, but discounted drinks and fun food...that's a happy hour, and something I rarely enjoy. The happy hour time slot of the typical 4-6 or 5-7pm just doesn't usually work for me. Well it is 5:26pm and I am just waiting for Kent to show up at work with the requested jacket and pants I'd like to wear tonight and my lipstick case as it was left behind in the morning shuffle. I gave my hair a shake, had an altoid and we will soon be off to have a spirit and a little nosh to embrace the week-ends arrival. I have given up sweets, carbs, alcohol as I am trying to lose weight...tonight though I think I will forgo these goals and embrace my body as it is to partake in that joy of the happy hour.
Today as I was getting ready I had a vision of myself sitting at a bar with my husband for happy hour...I'd like to think all of my hours are happy when I am with my husband, but discounted drinks and fun food...that's a happy hour, and something I rarely enjoy. The happy hour time slot of the typical 4-6 or 5-7pm just doesn't usually work for me. Well it is 5:26pm and I am just waiting for Kent to show up at work with the requested jacket and pants I'd like to wear tonight and my lipstick case as it was left behind in the morning shuffle. I gave my hair a shake, had an altoid and we will soon be off to have a spirit and a little nosh to embrace the week-ends arrival. I have given up sweets, carbs, alcohol as I am trying to lose weight...tonight though I think I will forgo these goals and embrace my body as it is to partake in that joy of the happy hour.
Disappointment
Seems to be everywhere; people disappointed with the economy, with Obama, with the raising costs of goods and the decline in wages. I have found myself recently telling my husband I wasn't upset with him; I was disappointed. Then yesterday I had the disappointed tag line thrown at me by my trainer because I did not sign up for bootcamp.
I'm starting to mature and realize that on a daily basis I will probably disappoint someone. Most of the time it is unintentional or probably unknown to me. I am such a people pleaser. My entire life I have been the one to put out fires and find a way for everyone to meld together and make it to the end in one piece. I did not like that little ping I had when my trainer said she was disappointed in my choice of not taking care of myself. I'm not choosing to let my health decline, I'm choosing to be in charge of my own health, at my pace and my time. 5:30am just does not work for me. Getting up at 4:45am to get to a 5:30am class is torture on both myself and Kent. I also have been so trapped and rely on other people to "make me exercise." It is time that I am the one in charge of the decisions. People will still love me if I disappoint them, so I will not be uneasy about my behaviors.
I keep thinking about my trip to Italy, which we leave for in 3 weeks. I have felt guilty about going lately. People are getting laid off and Kent and I are not flush with money. I know though that this is just the time to go. We want to start trying to get pregnant soon and when will we have the luxury of taking 17 days together when kids are involved? I'm sure Suzi Orman would be disappointed in our choice of going as well. Frankly I think Suzi can go and buy another jacket and Kent and I will celebrate the fact that we are healthy, alive and botching the Italian language as we travel the country.
I'm starting to mature and realize that on a daily basis I will probably disappoint someone. Most of the time it is unintentional or probably unknown to me. I am such a people pleaser. My entire life I have been the one to put out fires and find a way for everyone to meld together and make it to the end in one piece. I did not like that little ping I had when my trainer said she was disappointed in my choice of not taking care of myself. I'm not choosing to let my health decline, I'm choosing to be in charge of my own health, at my pace and my time. 5:30am just does not work for me. Getting up at 4:45am to get to a 5:30am class is torture on both myself and Kent. I also have been so trapped and rely on other people to "make me exercise." It is time that I am the one in charge of the decisions. People will still love me if I disappoint them, so I will not be uneasy about my behaviors.
I keep thinking about my trip to Italy, which we leave for in 3 weeks. I have felt guilty about going lately. People are getting laid off and Kent and I are not flush with money. I know though that this is just the time to go. We want to start trying to get pregnant soon and when will we have the luxury of taking 17 days together when kids are involved? I'm sure Suzi Orman would be disappointed in our choice of going as well. Frankly I think Suzi can go and buy another jacket and Kent and I will celebrate the fact that we are healthy, alive and botching the Italian language as we travel the country.
Because that's the way I like it....
Anxiety. I remember when I decided I was going to be a psych major and we would read about individuals with all sorts of intriguing, boring or amazing disorders. Everybody gets anxious from time to time but some people are truly encumbered by their anxiety to the point it really effects their daily life and activities. The first time in my life that I really understood what anxiety was like was after I got engaged. It was such a fabulous time for me and a complete shock and surprise. The following weeks I was finding myself becoming short winded and my chest was tight. It usually would happen towards the end of the day so I went to the doctor, had a chest xray, and was put on an inhaler...must be asthma. Several weeks later one of the Physicians Assistants I work with saw me taking a hit of this inhaler. She looked at me sideways and asked what I was doing. I explained I get this tight feeling at the end of the day and I have asthma. She quizzed me a little more and we realized that by the end of the business day I had spent so much time thinking about my wedding, looking at websites etc that I would get this huge wave of anxiety that would literally take my breath away!
Well now lately my anxiety has been very high. Kent and I are looking into doing a refi on our home and it has just stirred up a bunch of emotions. I don't like things I can't control. I like to say that I am no longer Type A..I have become a B+. I know though with things like my financial future I am Type A all the way. I don't like the uncertainty if things are going to get approved. I love that my husband is self-employed and calls his own shots; except things get very tricky when it comes to the financial world. We had to send 209 documents of his financial life and literally 6 of mine. It is ridiculous.
I started thinking about how nice it would be to have a lower interest rate and feel better about our financial security. Then they decided they want more paperwork which is just more drama for us. Then you feel discouraged and realize that someone else has your financial future in their hands. Just so annoying. I started to get serious anxiety last night to the point that I couldn't focus. I had to just sit and try to read and not think about everything that was going on. I was sort of mean to Kent and frustrated that he was frustrated. Sorry honey. I know it is just my anxiety and I don't want to spend a ton of time on something that may not work. What I do know is that Kent will work his butt off to produce whatever paperwork we need or come up with a gameplan. He is excellent about thinking outside of the box. I appreciate this quality about him even if I can't recognize it in the moment.
Well now lately my anxiety has been very high. Kent and I are looking into doing a refi on our home and it has just stirred up a bunch of emotions. I don't like things I can't control. I like to say that I am no longer Type A..I have become a B+. I know though with things like my financial future I am Type A all the way. I don't like the uncertainty if things are going to get approved. I love that my husband is self-employed and calls his own shots; except things get very tricky when it comes to the financial world. We had to send 209 documents of his financial life and literally 6 of mine. It is ridiculous.
I started thinking about how nice it would be to have a lower interest rate and feel better about our financial security. Then they decided they want more paperwork which is just more drama for us. Then you feel discouraged and realize that someone else has your financial future in their hands. Just so annoying. I started to get serious anxiety last night to the point that I couldn't focus. I had to just sit and try to read and not think about everything that was going on. I was sort of mean to Kent and frustrated that he was frustrated. Sorry honey. I know it is just my anxiety and I don't want to spend a ton of time on something that may not work. What I do know is that Kent will work his butt off to produce whatever paperwork we need or come up with a gameplan. He is excellent about thinking outside of the box. I appreciate this quality about him even if I can't recognize it in the moment.
Grumpy Gretchen
No clue what in the heck is wrong with me lately. I am seriously so grumpy. Could it be week 4 without sugar, bread, rice, chips etc? I went out the entire week-end and enjoyed diet soda and club soda with lime. I knew the club soda was too tasty...I stopped after 1/2 a glass. Those taste buds of mine kicked in full gear and I knew there was calories. 120 calories to be exact! Everywhere you look those calories are out there. I'm sick of counting them, sick of thinking about them.
I'm just plain grumpy and anxious. Kent and I leave for Italy in exactly one month, and I am so ready. I worry that I am becoming this person who needs to take a vacation every 3-5 months. It is OK if it is a mini-vacation, but I know now that I have gone 9 months without a vacation and this is too long. I have a hard time relaxing at home because I think of things I need to do- scrub the floors, clean the baseboards etc. Ridiculous things actually but I am a task master and there is no rest when there are tasks. I feel sorry for Kent that he gets flustered when he sees me quickly cleaning, cooking and organizing. He is so laid back, but he is a super helper. He even cleaned the bathroom once...I took a picture to remember it(the picture is not that great- he was just finishing the toilet!)
Tonight we are headed to the gym and I think this is exactly what I need. I'm going to take it semi-easy this week and get back into the groove. The other thing I need is sunshine. This has been the worst winter for weather. It snowed yesterday, then poured sideways and the wind blew so hard it broke a window on our porch that had a crack in it. I am trying to focus on the fact that soon summer will be here and I will not be planning a wedding or trying to sell a house. I look forward to hiking, and hopefully spending some time on the water. I have only kayaked once, and I love it. I have 3 fun weddings to attend as well and Kent will be getting a first hand taste of the state of Montana. I literally mean taste as I plan on eating until I can't stand it. I look forward to my enchilada from Taco Treat, my donut hole donuts and of course...staggering ox.
Just look at this delicious sandwich. I use to tell my friends about these tubular sensations...but you just have to try one. Calories will be everywhere those few days we are in Montana and I totally am ready for them! Now I am off to the gym so that I can hopefully snap this bad mood away.
I'm just plain grumpy and anxious. Kent and I leave for Italy in exactly one month, and I am so ready. I worry that I am becoming this person who needs to take a vacation every 3-5 months. It is OK if it is a mini-vacation, but I know now that I have gone 9 months without a vacation and this is too long. I have a hard time relaxing at home because I think of things I need to do- scrub the floors, clean the baseboards etc. Ridiculous things actually but I am a task master and there is no rest when there are tasks. I feel sorry for Kent that he gets flustered when he sees me quickly cleaning, cooking and organizing. He is so laid back, but he is a super helper. He even cleaned the bathroom once...I took a picture to remember it(the picture is not that great- he was just finishing the toilet!)
Tonight we are headed to the gym and I think this is exactly what I need. I'm going to take it semi-easy this week and get back into the groove. The other thing I need is sunshine. This has been the worst winter for weather. It snowed yesterday, then poured sideways and the wind blew so hard it broke a window on our porch that had a crack in it. I am trying to focus on the fact that soon summer will be here and I will not be planning a wedding or trying to sell a house. I look forward to hiking, and hopefully spending some time on the water. I have only kayaked once, and I love it. I have 3 fun weddings to attend as well and Kent will be getting a first hand taste of the state of Montana. I literally mean taste as I plan on eating until I can't stand it. I look forward to my enchilada from Taco Treat, my donut hole donuts and of course...staggering ox.
Just look at this delicious sandwich. I use to tell my friends about these tubular sensations...but you just have to try one. Calories will be everywhere those few days we are in Montana and I totally am ready for them! Now I am off to the gym so that I can hopefully snap this bad mood away.
Mr. Tax Man.....
Bring me a dream.....I have been swamped at work on Friday's lately so I have been unable to post my TGIF. Even though I am the "boss" I do forget the cardinal theme that work is called work, and not play, and that finding time in my Friday to post a TGIF shouldn't be at the top of my list...but today I have a TGIF for sure. Kent and I finally went and had our taxes done and holy crap...why didn't I get married earlier! We are getting a big fat paycheck back from Uncle Sam and I am thrilled. So my quick, while I am at work TGIF is to that fat man who keeps a ton of my money and is finally giving me some back! Woo Hoo!
Here we go, here we go, here we go now...
My coworker next to me was just singing this..so it is stuck in my brain now. Things have felt so busy for me lately. I look around and see nothing to keep me that occupied; except a cat who is nearly 15 that is fussy about only drinking from the toilet. I'm not working two jobs and I don't have four kids to handle. The only new item in my list of duties is the introduction of the South Beach Diet into my world. After having a pity party for myself for a few weeks about the challenges I will face getting pregnant and how hard it is to lose weight; I decided to do something about it. South Beach is the best way of life for my particular body. I have insulin resistance which makes the way my body processes sugars to be a challenge. So if I choose lower glycemic foods (the way the body coverts calories into sugar) the better chance I have to lose weight.
I am happy to say that I am down 11 pounds since the first of the year. I have roughly 9 pounds left until I reach my mini goal....to lose the 20 pounds that I have gained since I met Kent. This weight gain was truly about me losing sight of what I need to continually do---pay attention to calories/sugar, limit wine/alcohol and exercise daily. I feel like I have had so little time lately to do anything except make all of these crazy recipes to follow this plan. Next week I am limiting my TV to one hour per day, which will give me more time to spend at the gym. We have also been busy with taxes, choosing a life insurance policy, preparing for Italy and life in general.
In general things are going well. Last week-end I was pretty pissy (bitchy) after it looked like I had gained 1/2 a pound, even though I was perfect with my food. Man I hate that scale somedays. There is nothing in this world that can set my mood quicker than the scale. I am weighing myself every 5 days to help stay focused and grounded. I get nervous when I step on the scale, but somehow I need to remember that I am doing well and I will continue to do well. I have given up wine, sugar and bread until we reach Italy. This is not a huge sacrifice...but boy would I love a giant piece of rosemary bread and a fabulous glass of Oregon Pinot Noir. Instead I will rejoice with my Crystal Light and salad!
I am happy to say that I am down 11 pounds since the first of the year. I have roughly 9 pounds left until I reach my mini goal....to lose the 20 pounds that I have gained since I met Kent. This weight gain was truly about me losing sight of what I need to continually do---pay attention to calories/sugar, limit wine/alcohol and exercise daily. I feel like I have had so little time lately to do anything except make all of these crazy recipes to follow this plan. Next week I am limiting my TV to one hour per day, which will give me more time to spend at the gym. We have also been busy with taxes, choosing a life insurance policy, preparing for Italy and life in general.
In general things are going well. Last week-end I was pretty pissy (bitchy) after it looked like I had gained 1/2 a pound, even though I was perfect with my food. Man I hate that scale somedays. There is nothing in this world that can set my mood quicker than the scale. I am weighing myself every 5 days to help stay focused and grounded. I get nervous when I step on the scale, but somehow I need to remember that I am doing well and I will continue to do well. I have given up wine, sugar and bread until we reach Italy. This is not a huge sacrifice...but boy would I love a giant piece of rosemary bread and a fabulous glass of Oregon Pinot Noir. Instead I will rejoice with my Crystal Light and salad!
My Boys
Since the age of 13 I have had a passion for one band, U2. On the day of their new CD release I find myself thinking about how much I love this band and all of the parts their music has played in my life. I remember buying The Joshua Tree and playing it so much that I literally wore the CD out. When Rattle and Hum came out in the theatre's I was still in Junior High and U2 was not the cool band. My special ladies went with me though, even if they didn't love them. When I was 17 my dad drove me and my sister to Seattle to see my first U2 show. It was one of the best days of my life, truly, I can still remember so many parts of that show. I have seen every concert since and I was fortunate to dance to With or Without You with my husband as our first dance.
If you are a long-lived fan you are usually in the company of others who complain the band is weak; they don't have the same force or drive that they existed on for years. I beg to differ though. 15 years ago this bands lyrics was their strongest proponent to get across their beliefs. Bono has elevated to a Rock Star/God in a way that few others have in the music industry. He meets with the leaders of the world, and they listen. They quote him, they join his causes and back up his goals through financial support. So what if the band has more of a pop feel or pleases the masses. They are the World's Band and I look forward to listening and diving in to their new album. I know they are going to tour and somehow I will get those tickets. They are getting more and more difficult to obtain, but Kent knows how much they mean to me, and we will go wherever we can get tickets. There is something that is so unique about a U2 concert, it is indescribable. So today when I get home from work I will find the new CD waiting for me and I can't wait.
If you are a long-lived fan you are usually in the company of others who complain the band is weak; they don't have the same force or drive that they existed on for years. I beg to differ though. 15 years ago this bands lyrics was their strongest proponent to get across their beliefs. Bono has elevated to a Rock Star/God in a way that few others have in the music industry. He meets with the leaders of the world, and they listen. They quote him, they join his causes and back up his goals through financial support. So what if the band has more of a pop feel or pleases the masses. They are the World's Band and I look forward to listening and diving in to their new album. I know they are going to tour and somehow I will get those tickets. They are getting more and more difficult to obtain, but Kent knows how much they mean to me, and we will go wherever we can get tickets. There is something that is so unique about a U2 concert, it is indescribable. So today when I get home from work I will find the new CD waiting for me and I can't wait.
