Kate...Take a hike!

For the past few years I have loved to watch the reality show on TLC Jon and Kate plus 8. I usually cry because I want a family, but I smile a bunch and get a kick out of the kids. I cringe a lot during the show too though as Kate is pretty feisty and sometimes down right rude to her husband (well ex now). It is almost uncomfortable to watch. Over the past few weeks I have found myself acting "Kate" like. Very short tempered with Kent, raising my voice too often, almost condescending in a way. My emotions are over running and I don't quite know how to take everything into perspective. I hate that here is my kind husband doing his best, yet I always have to find the one minor flaw, or what I see as a flaw. I even have begun to start to refer to us as Jon and Kate...the second. This is so not good. This is not a positive way to communicate with one another and to live together in a partnership.

I have started seeing my therapist again as I need a refresher. I am finding myself in a downward spiral and it helps if I can just go and talk to her and try to process what I am thinking. I feel like I have slipped so far down that I don't know how to get back up and take steps in the right direction. I know that I am very hard on myself and we all have setbacks. I feel like I need to be aggressive for the next few weeks and really just be good to myself. Taking small steps everyday towards the nice things in life is my goal. These are minor things too...like working in my garden, reading a book, taking a walk or cooking a meal. I am on low energy right now as I am just expending too much of myself from the moment I wake up. I need to just chill over the next few weeks and take better care of myself. I basically need Kate to hike it back to the East Coast where she belongs.

Yesterday was our first anniversary. I still can't believe it had been an entire year. Kent and I celebrated by renting the same Orange top Electric Boat that he proposed to me in. When we went the first time I did not realize that we were going to be getting engaged that evening and that there was going to be a surprise party waiting for us. Kent was very nervous and definitely not himself that evening which made our time yesterday even more special.

Here is a picture of us from our surprise engagement party as we are arriving at the dock.

Kent and I had about 3 hours on the water where we had a picnic and finally enjoyed our bottle of Dom Perignon that we received as a wedding gift. While we were on the boat Kent reached under the seat and pulled out a wrapped box. We had pretty much agreed on the fact that we were not going to give each other gifts. I did get him tickets to see a comedian, but that is more of an I'm sorry as there has not been a lot of laughter in the Davis household. When I opened the box I saw this beautiful Tahitian pearl necklace. When we were at the mall the other week-end I happened to see a display of these and I commented on how much I liked them. Kent is such a good listener!!! I love the necklace so much. We then went to dinner at Palisades and had a beautiful meal. While we were at dinner Kent was staring at my necklace and he told me that it looked lonely. Then he gave me another box that had matching earrings.


Kent driving our boat


The best wind blown photo we could take


The little picnic I packed us

I love you babe! Thank you for a truly amazing first year! Here is to a million more.