The past few days I have been overcome by emotions. I cry at the drop of a hat. This morning a Folgers holiday commercial set me over the edge. Like sobbing, for an hour with feelings of sadness that my dream of being pregnant in 2009 will more than likely not happen. I did my best to get ready and arrived an hour late for work (good thing I'm the boss). As I enter the elevator 3, yes 3, pregnant women get on with me. We stop off at one of the floors with an OB/GYN clinic on it, two ladies step out, and in a mad commotion a wheel chair flies in with a pregnant woman, her husband and a nurse who are wheeling her to the hospital as her water broke in the office. I explained kindly to them that this elevator was going up, but they were so excited, the husband was on the phone, and I was left in the corner and the stream of tears began again.
On Saturday at 8am I will have an ultrasound to see if any follicles have produced from this round of clomid. With luck we will have an IUI on Sunday morning. I've been diligent about taking my Metformin and I've even found myself saying a few prayers to whoever is listening. I know we have only been trying for 8 months, but that doesn't make it any easier. The holiday traditions of family only elevate my desire to begin my own family.
As I did my best to compose myself at work I decided I needed to make the most of the next few days. I am looking forward to doing the cooking tomorrow and testing out several new recipes. I am still not sure if I will shop on Friday morning as we are not really doing the mad dash present scene this year. Just a few small gifts for everyone. Normally my parents buy my sister and I so many gifts that we literally need to take a break, almost an intermission, during the gift exchange. It will be a nice change this year to try and enjoy one anothers company and not focusing on all of our gifts. Kent and I have also been looking at ways to see our friends this holiday season without spending a fortune.
Here is to hope, gratitude and love for the life I have.
Taking Care of Myself
This topic came up in my session with a therapist that I have been seeing for some time. There are days that I show up and wonder what we will discuss and today was one of those days. I'm tired of talking about my weight or talking about the question of when I will get pregnant or how my job at times is ridiculous. Today was a good day though because we both sort of looked at these topics and noted what was in my control and what wasn't. Here is some hopeful decisions I have made.
1) Weight. I'm blowing up like a hot-air balloon. I'm embarrassed to admit that I could be a linebacker with the Seattle Seahawks. As I've been increasing my amount of Metformin I have also been increasing my carbs as it is the only thing that helps with the side effects of nausea and crazy bad belly. I'm frustrated as I need to take Metformin, but I also need to lose weight. So I just booked an appointment with a nutritionist to discuss PCOS, insulin resistance and getting pregnant. I have read so many books, but I'm really needing some support and I hope this will help jump start a better relationship with food and my body.
2) Today is my last day of Clomid. Yeah! Then we have an ultrasound on Saturday the 27th and hopefully an IUI on the 28th. All I can control is that I show up at the right time of my appointment and take the appropriate medication. That's it. I can't control if I ovulate, hopefully Clomid will help me with that. I also can't control when I will get pregnant. I'm going to do my best to stop the stressing and to focus on taking care of myself and pregnancy will come one way or another.
3) Holidays. As a child I had a wonderful time with my family and our gigantic extended family. As the years have passed though the holidays are increasingly more stressful and filled with little joy. I am not going to let this happen though to my holiday with Kent. I may struggle when I am with my parents etc, but that doesn't mean that Kent and I can't enjoy our own private holiday time. Kent and I are going to be in a little protective bubble this year during the holidays. I'm staying away from drama and searching out the happiness that is around me. We have many fun things planned including the Seattle Men's Chorus and the Rockettes.
Tonight I plan on hopefully going to the gym and hitting the treadmill. I'm also feeling like a cold is brewing so possibly I will sit on the sofa and watch the office and laugh with my husband. Either way, I'm taking care of myself.
1) Weight. I'm blowing up like a hot-air balloon. I'm embarrassed to admit that I could be a linebacker with the Seattle Seahawks. As I've been increasing my amount of Metformin I have also been increasing my carbs as it is the only thing that helps with the side effects of nausea and crazy bad belly. I'm frustrated as I need to take Metformin, but I also need to lose weight. So I just booked an appointment with a nutritionist to discuss PCOS, insulin resistance and getting pregnant. I have read so many books, but I'm really needing some support and I hope this will help jump start a better relationship with food and my body.
2) Today is my last day of Clomid. Yeah! Then we have an ultrasound on Saturday the 27th and hopefully an IUI on the 28th. All I can control is that I show up at the right time of my appointment and take the appropriate medication. That's it. I can't control if I ovulate, hopefully Clomid will help me with that. I also can't control when I will get pregnant. I'm going to do my best to stop the stressing and to focus on taking care of myself and pregnancy will come one way or another.
3) Holidays. As a child I had a wonderful time with my family and our gigantic extended family. As the years have passed though the holidays are increasingly more stressful and filled with little joy. I am not going to let this happen though to my holiday with Kent. I may struggle when I am with my parents etc, but that doesn't mean that Kent and I can't enjoy our own private holiday time. Kent and I are going to be in a little protective bubble this year during the holidays. I'm staying away from drama and searching out the happiness that is around me. We have many fun things planned including the Seattle Men's Chorus and the Rockettes.
Tonight I plan on hopefully going to the gym and hitting the treadmill. I'm also feeling like a cold is brewing so possibly I will sit on the sofa and watch the office and laugh with my husband. Either way, I'm taking care of myself.
Memories
This past week-end I found myself finally getting around to making our Italy photo album. Even though is has only been 8 months since we were in Italy, it feels like it has been years. The emotions I have felt recently have been unlike any other. The fear, insecurity, stress and sadness I have surrounding TTC has been very difficult on both myself and Kent. While I was looking at our photos all I could see was a couple having a wonderful time together. There was no stress on our faces, there was laughter and excitement in our eyes as we were no longer on BCP and we knew that we were ready to have a family. It wasn't until we returned from Italy and I went to the doctor that next week that things really shifted. It was almost as if this idyllic time we spent together was erased and replaced with cold hard facts of infertility/ovulation problems and an uncertainty that we both have difficulty in accepting.
This past week my mind was focused on acceptance. I have had a very hard time accepting the fact that my body is just wired this way..wired to not ovulate, to produce too much insulin and I need to work the best with what I have. I hate how much this has made me feel inadequate, feel like a failure. I worry about Kent and how he too has to deal with this. He gets the questions too about when we are having kids and he has to go to the appointments and get "prodded" too. He also has to put up with the incredible mood swings that have become a constant. Kent is my shining star that helps me see through this very dark period of time.
Here is a photo from May 2007, our first vacation together to the Jazz Fest in New Orleans. We were stuck in a flash flood, it was amazing.
The boat Kent proposed to me on in Aug 2007, and then drove us to the surprise engagement party.
Here's a photo of us from Sept 2007, High Tea in Victoria, BC. What man joins you for high tea?
A trip to Cabo in Jan 2008, before all of the wedding storm would hit.
Our mini-moon in August 2008
When I look at these photos I have so much happiness. We were happy, like ridiculously happy. We had found one another on a whim on Match.com. I knew so quickly that I was going to marry Kent. This week-end I was forced to take a good look at how I am processing things right now and unfortunately they are pretty negative and skewed. These pictures all have something in common...Kent and I and the life we have due to our choices and abilities. This can remain the same, even through fertility issues. Maybe this is my way of dealing with the pain of each month passing by with negative news.
What I do know though is that Kent and I are still together and better than ever. Sometimes I need to quiet myself and step back before I am able to realize things. Thank you to my husband for the patience and understanding he possesses. I love you Kent.
This past week my mind was focused on acceptance. I have had a very hard time accepting the fact that my body is just wired this way..wired to not ovulate, to produce too much insulin and I need to work the best with what I have. I hate how much this has made me feel inadequate, feel like a failure. I worry about Kent and how he too has to deal with this. He gets the questions too about when we are having kids and he has to go to the appointments and get "prodded" too. He also has to put up with the incredible mood swings that have become a constant. Kent is my shining star that helps me see through this very dark period of time.
Here is a photo from May 2007, our first vacation together to the Jazz Fest in New Orleans. We were stuck in a flash flood, it was amazing.
The boat Kent proposed to me on in Aug 2007, and then drove us to the surprise engagement party.
Here's a photo of us from Sept 2007, High Tea in Victoria, BC. What man joins you for high tea?
A trip to Cabo in Jan 2008, before all of the wedding storm would hit.
Our mini-moon in August 2008
When I look at these photos I have so much happiness. We were happy, like ridiculously happy. We had found one another on a whim on Match.com. I knew so quickly that I was going to marry Kent. This week-end I was forced to take a good look at how I am processing things right now and unfortunately they are pretty negative and skewed. These pictures all have something in common...Kent and I and the life we have due to our choices and abilities. This can remain the same, even through fertility issues. Maybe this is my way of dealing with the pain of each month passing by with negative news.
What I do know though is that Kent and I are still together and better than ever. Sometimes I need to quiet myself and step back before I am able to realize things. Thank you to my husband for the patience and understanding he possesses. I love you Kent.
Moving On
This morning my lady business is officially here and I picked up my prescription for 100mg of Clomid and my HCG shot. This will be our 3rd round of clomid, and if all goes well, we will have an IUI Thanksgiving week-end. While I was holding that RX in my hand my first thought was, well here comes the bitch again. I'm so nasty on this drug and emotional. I roll into my office a few minutes later, turn on the computer and ITUNES and the first shuffled song that BLARES out of my speakers is Elton John's The Bitch is Back. I seriously love my life and the fact that I can see humor in everything.
I'm feeling fine today and I'm focusing on what I have and not what I don't. I am trying to find the holiday spirit and my goal is to spread a little joy and happiness this year. Throughout the years presents have been the top priority of the Christmas season. My family shows their love with gifts and a ton of them. I'm over that though and if I want something, I can just buy it myself. So this year I am thinking about thoughtful ways to spread joy and kindness that are not necessarily wrapped up with a bow. Thank you to everyone for their kindness yesterday.
I'm feeling fine today and I'm focusing on what I have and not what I don't. I am trying to find the holiday spirit and my goal is to spread a little joy and happiness this year. Throughout the years presents have been the top priority of the Christmas season. My family shows their love with gifts and a ton of them. I'm over that though and if I want something, I can just buy it myself. So this year I am thinking about thoughtful ways to spread joy and kindness that are not necessarily wrapped up with a bow. Thank you to everyone for their kindness yesterday.
Wordless Wednesday
I love to look at blogs and see the inner workings of those near and far, strangers and friends. On several blogs I've found there are groups/friends who focus on a task for a day of the week. Tuesday's have been titled Self Portrait Tuesday, where one literally takes a self portrait and posts it. Wednesday's have been titled Wordless Wednesday's. I chose Friday's for myself to be TGIF, which was to focus on Gratitude in my life, and not just the gratefulness of the impending week-end.
I suppose this photo is not actually wordless, but unfortunately it has left me a bit quiet today. What I know though is that life is good and someday I will have a different photo to post.
Here's my first post for Wordless Wednesday.
I suppose this photo is not actually wordless, but unfortunately it has left me a bit quiet today. What I know though is that life is good and someday I will have a different photo to post.
Here's my first post for Wordless Wednesday.
Nervous
Ok, so since I thought I would use this blog as a bit of a journal, here is what I feel like writing...I'm nervous about what the stick is going to say tomorrow. I've done my best not to think about it, but now I'm like...12 more hours!
I hate Clomid, I hate that drug and the fact I need it to get even one follicle to mature. I really don't want to worry about another IUI right after Thanksgiving and the potential no right before Christmas. I know that this is just a fact of life, but I'm ready to no longer learn about the drama of have PCOS and how difficult it is to get pregnant.
There is a part of me who has just fought with this body of mine since I was 5. Always trying to lose weight as I was a giant kid, a giant teenager and through out my adult years I have fluctuated to the extreme. I'm not "giant" right now, but that scale is on a number that I haven't seen for five years. I'm bummed to see that number and how little control I feel right now over my body. My spirits are remaining high though and I appreciate all of the positive feedback from everyone.
I hate Clomid, I hate that drug and the fact I need it to get even one follicle to mature. I really don't want to worry about another IUI right after Thanksgiving and the potential no right before Christmas. I know that this is just a fact of life, but I'm ready to no longer learn about the drama of have PCOS and how difficult it is to get pregnant.
There is a part of me who has just fought with this body of mine since I was 5. Always trying to lose weight as I was a giant kid, a giant teenager and through out my adult years I have fluctuated to the extreme. I'm not "giant" right now, but that scale is on a number that I haven't seen for five years. I'm bummed to see that number and how little control I feel right now over my body. My spirits are remaining high though and I appreciate all of the positive feedback from everyone.
Waiting
Time is a bit of a stand still for Kent and I as we have a day and half until we take a pregnancy test. Only today has this seriously felt like the longest two weeks. Work drags on and on, the days are so dark and dreary. Kent and I have little patience and he has asked me repeatedly why we can't test early. He then references TV commercials and the First Response tests that allow testing 5 days earlier. My first thought is no, the Dr. told me to wait 14 days from IUI. My second thought is that my husband is watching way too much TV. He shouldn't know ads for lady business products.
It's tough when you want to know a secret or if there is a big surprise waiting for you. Sort of like Christmas when you were a kid. I was a mischevious child and use to slit the tape on all of the Christmas gifts under the tree and unwrap them while my parents were at work. It was a bummer Christmas morning, but it was like those wrapped beauties were just calling me while I was watching reruns of the Brady Bunch and eating saltines with butter. Wednesday may not be a gift if we get a negative, but I do know that someday, when I unwrap that stick, I will get exactly what I want.
It's tough when you want to know a secret or if there is a big surprise waiting for you. Sort of like Christmas when you were a kid. I was a mischevious child and use to slit the tape on all of the Christmas gifts under the tree and unwrap them while my parents were at work. It was a bummer Christmas morning, but it was like those wrapped beauties were just calling me while I was watching reruns of the Brady Bunch and eating saltines with butter. Wednesday may not be a gift if we get a negative, but I do know that someday, when I unwrap that stick, I will get exactly what I want.
Tardy for the Party
Truthfully I have no fun parties lined up this week-end but I have so wanted to have that as a title for a post of mine. Today is my TGIF though and I'm grateful on many levels.
1)My BFF Susan and I are having our pigs done (pedicures) and dinner at my house tomorrow night. It is lady time that she and I are long overdo for.
2)Kent and I are working as a total team on our housing and financial situation and where we are headed. Not sure if we are selling our current home or keeping it and coming up with plan B. I'm so happy to have him on my side though as we are figuring out a game plan.
3) I am just about done reading this great book, The End of Overeating by David Kessler MD, and even though it is very dry and scientific in the beginning, I have really been able to see food in a different way. The book focuses on the food industry etc and their use of fat, salt and sugar to make us have insatiable cravings. He talks about ways to combat these and finding a way to focus on food as fuel. So far, so good.
4) I've successfully taken my glucophage 1x a day this past week with very little side effects. I am super excited by this and hopefully next week I will be able to increase the dose and one day I will get up to that 2000mg a day. Right now I can only take 500mg.
5) On Wednesday I will take a pregnancy test. The time has gone by pretty quickly. I actually don't have any feelings right now regarding it. I'm not feeling any different and I know if this time doesn't work, another time will.
Here's to gratitude and Friday's.
1)My BFF Susan and I are having our pigs done (pedicures) and dinner at my house tomorrow night. It is lady time that she and I are long overdo for.
2)Kent and I are working as a total team on our housing and financial situation and where we are headed. Not sure if we are selling our current home or keeping it and coming up with plan B. I'm so happy to have him on my side though as we are figuring out a game plan.
3) I am just about done reading this great book, The End of Overeating by David Kessler MD, and even though it is very dry and scientific in the beginning, I have really been able to see food in a different way. The book focuses on the food industry etc and their use of fat, salt and sugar to make us have insatiable cravings. He talks about ways to combat these and finding a way to focus on food as fuel. So far, so good.
4) I've successfully taken my glucophage 1x a day this past week with very little side effects. I am super excited by this and hopefully next week I will be able to increase the dose and one day I will get up to that 2000mg a day. Right now I can only take 500mg.
5) On Wednesday I will take a pregnancy test. The time has gone by pretty quickly. I actually don't have any feelings right now regarding it. I'm not feeling any different and I know if this time doesn't work, another time will.
Here's to gratitude and Friday's.
U2 Part Deux
Upon returning from Las Vegas I found myself at the RE office and one good follicle. The next morning we went in early and Kent made a deposit, we went and had breakfast and then I returned for our first IUI. I wasn't quite sure what to expect, but it was quite simple. As the ARNP was inserting Kent's deposit she told me we should have intercourse at 8:30pm that night. I told her that I was going to be rocking out at the U2 show in Vancouver and that there was probably no "place" to make that happen at 8:30pm. She stared at me with a blank face and all I could think was these "professionals" just can't let up somedays. I have run a medical practice for almost 9 years, and medicine need to have humor in it because sometimes thinking about sadness all day long is not good for you or the patient. Chum it up a bit with your patients if the mood calls for it! Anyways, the IUI happened, I hung out for 20 minutes and we headed off to Canada.
The trip to Canada was simple. We started passing the U2 decorated cars and I felt bummed that my Nissan wasn't tricked out in U2 memorabilia. As we prepared to cross the border we found ourselves waiting for entirely too long. The traffic into Vancouver was awful as well. Here I thought we would have several hours to hang out before the show, but of course, my timing is just never that good. We did arrive at our hotel, The Loden and it was awesome. They upgraded us to the most beautiful suite...living room, dining area, bedroom, amazing bathroom etc. It has a killer view and how I love my heated tile floors. These floors are better than ours though as they are individually controlled on and off, not just when the heat is on. I love heated floors like I love heated seats..even in hot weather!
We had a quick drink and bite to eat in the lobby and took the skytrain to the arena. We were sort of dumb and dumber again not knowing exactly where to go.
How I love clean, cool city transportation!
Honestly though, the entire downtown was sold out for this concert and we were able to again just follow the flow of people. We weren't able to hook up with any of our friends who were going to this show, but we did run into my pretend brother David for a moment during intermission.
What I liked about this show was the fact that we had seats, and I could see the entire stage. I actually missed the general admission crowd and vibe until I could see it from above. I can't believe my 5'2" stature survived Las Vegas, what a mess it looked like from above. Our seats were expensive and worth it. The bummer was the sound was a little weird being bounced off the concrete. I look forward to U2 coming to Seattle in June 2010 as they will be playing at Qwest field, an outdoor stadium. This show is meant to be outside for sure!
During the show I started to feel pretty crampy. Then I worried that "everything" was falling out of my uterus so I quit jumping around as much (yes, I'm a jumper and fist in the air U2 fan). Kent told me to quit worrying about this, but it is hard not to. Who knows if the IUI will take, it is only our first attempt. I am doing my best to stay positive, but the waiting is hard. I have been propelled and somewhat pumped up to get myself in a better place, mind..body...and spirit. I have been motivated by fellow bloggers getting pregnant and personal friends taking better care of themselves. I am back on my glucophage, so of course, I am feeling awful. I have to work through these symptoms and I do know that eventually my body will get more accustomed to the drug. I also cleaned out the fridge and pantry and planned our food for the week. Fitness is a priority and Kent and I are working on clearing our calendars to ensure we get some exercise.
Our 2 adventures were amazing and I love my husband for being my partner in crime.
The trip to Canada was simple. We started passing the U2 decorated cars and I felt bummed that my Nissan wasn't tricked out in U2 memorabilia. As we prepared to cross the border we found ourselves waiting for entirely too long. The traffic into Vancouver was awful as well. Here I thought we would have several hours to hang out before the show, but of course, my timing is just never that good. We did arrive at our hotel, The Loden and it was awesome. They upgraded us to the most beautiful suite...living room, dining area, bedroom, amazing bathroom etc. It has a killer view and how I love my heated tile floors. These floors are better than ours though as they are individually controlled on and off, not just when the heat is on. I love heated floors like I love heated seats..even in hot weather!
We had a quick drink and bite to eat in the lobby and took the skytrain to the arena. We were sort of dumb and dumber again not knowing exactly where to go.
How I love clean, cool city transportation!
Honestly though, the entire downtown was sold out for this concert and we were able to again just follow the flow of people. We weren't able to hook up with any of our friends who were going to this show, but we did run into my pretend brother David for a moment during intermission.
What I liked about this show was the fact that we had seats, and I could see the entire stage. I actually missed the general admission crowd and vibe until I could see it from above. I can't believe my 5'2" stature survived Las Vegas, what a mess it looked like from above. Our seats were expensive and worth it. The bummer was the sound was a little weird being bounced off the concrete. I look forward to U2 coming to Seattle in June 2010 as they will be playing at Qwest field, an outdoor stadium. This show is meant to be outside for sure!
During the show I started to feel pretty crampy. Then I worried that "everything" was falling out of my uterus so I quit jumping around as much (yes, I'm a jumper and fist in the air U2 fan). Kent told me to quit worrying about this, but it is hard not to. Who knows if the IUI will take, it is only our first attempt. I am doing my best to stay positive, but the waiting is hard. I have been propelled and somewhat pumped up to get myself in a better place, mind..body...and spirit. I have been motivated by fellow bloggers getting pregnant and personal friends taking better care of themselves. I am back on my glucophage, so of course, I am feeling awful. I have to work through these symptoms and I do know that eventually my body will get more accustomed to the drug. I also cleaned out the fridge and pantry and planned our food for the week. Fitness is a priority and Kent and I are working on clearing our calendars to ensure we get some exercise.
Our 2 adventures were amazing and I love my husband for being my partner in crime.
Vegas Baby...U2 part 1
What a whirl wind I have been on. Still feeling like I am spinning a bit, but it has been a fabulous journey. I was bummed that my eggs were still little and we weren't able to do IUI before our Vegas trip but it was probably for the better as we were up late, drank, ate like vulchers and had a great time. We struggled a bit getting from the airport in Vegas to the hotel. It took almost an hour to get our rental car and then another hour to get down the strip and to our hotel, The Venetian. I started getting really ancy and excited. The people in front of us at the Avis rental desk were going to the show and when we were in the car the radio stations were all talking about the show.
I was really getting frustrated by time we checked into the hotel as I wanted to have ample time to relax and prepare for my boys. There was no time to prepare. We literally checked in, changed clothes and inhaled a sandwich at the hotel. Panic started to set in as we were leaving The Venetian as the AARP conference was just getting out. All I could see was a line a mile long to exit the hotel garage. My mind was pushed back to work in Seattle where I am always trapped behind some "blue haired" lady who drives 2mph in our garage. Probably the smartest thing I did on this trip was rent a car for the night to take us to the UNLV stadium. I started realizing that it was about 15 miles outside of Las Vegas and we might have a problem with getting a cab after the show. I did hear that it took some people 2 hours and $200 to get back (bad karma on the taxi drivers).
We started towards the stadium and struggled with the directions. I love the amazing race so I quickly switched into the mode of stranded tourist looking for my next clue box. I noticed all of the town cars and limos heading in one direction, so we followed and lucked out. We arrived about 15 minutes before the Black Eyed Peas started. The weather was about 70 degrees, no clouds in the sky and it felt magical. The stage, the sound, the vibe, it was honestly perfect. We had general admission tickets and did our best to get as close as we could. My friend Lucy and her sisters stood in line at 10am to get into the inner circle of the stage. Her photos are amazing and fill me with jealousy. My husband loves me, but he doesn't love me enough to stand in line for 8 hours just to get a wrist band and wait another 4 hours for U2 to go on.
Do I look excited?
When the Black Eyed Peas played I was sort of surprised by my knowledge of their tunes. Like, I knew the lyrics, almost all of them. I know they are popular, but this aging brain of mine is warped a bit by the music "the kids" listen to. They were seriously fun and Kent and I probably looked at each other for the next two weeks and sang Boom Boom Pow, gotta get that boom boom boom any chance we could. As they played their last song the crowd started getting crazy. Piling in and driving themselves towards the stage. My 5'2" stature proved to not be the winning height as I barely could see anything except the guys neck in front of me.
Hard to tell, but we were pretty close. Can you see the little image of Bono?
My boys would not disappoint though as their stage had the biggest screen that was 360 degrees and I was able to see everything. When the band came on it was a weird feeling, sort of like, am I here, is this really happening. I was jumping up and down and felt free for the first time in a long time. I've been emotionally bogged down for awhile with weight gain and no pregnancy. This U2 show sort of jump started me back into my old self.
The show was amazing. Like honestly, I probably cried 5x. I am an emotional wreck from the clomid and you tack on my favorite band since 1987 (holy shit I am getting old) and there is bound to be some emotions. I loved how my husband endured my stress about getting the tickets, flying to Las Vegas and putting up with 40,000 other super fans. The show could not have been better. I knew within two guitar strums by The Edge what the next song was and the superfan in front of me would high five me with delight. The only downer was feeling like I was going to be crushed at any point and the fact that you couldn't leave to get something to drink or use the bathroom. Oh, unless you have a penis as the boys in front of me proceeded to pee into water bottles during the show. I thought they were smoking marijuana (I crack myself up), as they were acting so shady and covering one another, but nope, they were urinating. Nothing like bottles of piss around your legs to put a nervous damper on the evening. What if in one of my fits of fandom I jumped on the bottle and urine was sent flying everywhere? Lucky for us, that didn't happen.
See the bottle that looks like Mt. Dew...that's NOT Mt. Dew!
After the show we left and had a very very late dinner. We gambled a bit and went to bed. Our suite was fabulous and a king sized bed awaited us, hallelujah. Oh, I can not wait to move so that we may get the luxurious king sized bed we are so craving. The following day we woke up super late and went to find something to eat at 1:00pm. We were both starving and sort of out of it. We walked around the Venetian and pretended like we were still in Italy. Does this look like the Grand Canale (not really) but we did stumble upon Mario Battali's restaurant B & B Ristorante.
Oh it was so yummy. Here is a picture of our starter cheese course.
I thought I had died and gone to heaven...truffled honey and the best blue cheese I've ever had. Brandy marinated cherries and goat cheese, I'm hungry just thinking about it. Once we finished eating we walked around to some of the other hotels and then sat outside at Mandalay Bay and had over priced cocktails. I was trying to look trendy but really, a pony tail doesn't get you far.
I was fortunate enough to hook up with best friend from childhood, Lucy. She came to the Venetian to chat with us for about 45 minutes and it was great to catch up. Lucy and I use to sit in my basement in Helena MT and blast U2 and Bon Jovi. We were in the 6th grade and preparing ourselves for the next jaunt= Junior High. We would make coffee cake, drink diet Pepsi from a bottle, sun tan and rock out to my dads incredible sound system. The speakers were those super old (but not then) giant beasts that were like 4 feet tall. The bass would shake the house and stress out my dog. It was awesome. Seeing Lucy and her sisters just walked me down memory lane. I didn't have my camera so I am snatching one from her blog. Thanks Loose!
After we chatted with Lucy we headed over to Caesar's Palace to see Bette Midler. Again, how awesome is my husband to sit in a venue with Bette's fans...as she calls them, the Gay's, the Jews and the old hippies. The show was hilarious. I loved how many times she made fun of Celine Dion and Cher and the rest of the city. She gets it, she is a total performer and was worth every cent. We stayed at Ceasars to eat at Bobby Flay's restaurant Mesa Grill. My husband is not a dare devil with food but I felt like he should have earned a gold star for ordering the duck taco! Woo hoo to Kent, the man who only eats 4 vegetables. After our late night dinner we left the show and sort of walked around to the various casinos. Vegas is so deceiving and gigantic. You think something is a block away, but it is like a mile. My dogs were barking constantly so we returned to our hotel and chilled out there.
Sunday morning I woke up before Kent and read a little. Then I watched some TV and I finally pitched a fit as I wanted to get up for our breakfast at Bouchon. We discovered Bouchon in Yountville on our mini-moon and haven't forgot it. We showered and got dressed and were thrilled to sit outside. I should have taken photos, but I didn't.
We started with their pastry basket as they honestly have the most amazing pastry chefs. What arrived was not a basket, it was an honest to god platter and we devoured it. I had a croque madame and Kent had waffles with bananas and pecans. OH..we were stuffed but happy. We ventured to the pool but there was no way I was going to get into a swim suit. So we walked to other hotels and lost more money. I am lucky in love, but by no means am I lucky with gambling. On one incident I put my money voucher in the $1.00 machine, hit my bet and watched myself lose $40.00 in 3 seconds. I am no high roller, I like my penny machines where I bid high (a whopping 2 dollars). I seriously screamed when I saw $40.00 leave my credits and felt defeated. I laugh about it now as the game I played was called Keeping Up With The Joneses. Well apparently that wasn't going to happen in Vegas. The rest of the day we hung out and then met Kent's cousin and her family for dinner. We had a nice time and it was good to meet some of Kent's family, as he has so little. Plus their son cracked me up. He was like this very mature 12 year old, like almost too mature. Nothing like a 12 year old kid looking at you and saying things like, "this is the best chicken Parmesan I have ever had" or his quizzing on "what types of shows have you seen while you are in town?" I honestly thought he might pull out a pipe at one point and start smoking and order a scotch on the rocks.
Monday we found ourselves packing and returning to dreary wet Seattle. Vegas is this really weird place. Like I'm not quite wealthy enough, not skinny enough but I'm definitely not on the trashier end either. I think it is what you make of it. We enjoyed the chill out time we had together, seeing my friend and my boys. It was worth every stupid penny I lost! Which by the way we did win some of our lost money back at the airport because how can you sit and watch CNN when Wheel of Fortune is beckoning your call.
I was really getting frustrated by time we checked into the hotel as I wanted to have ample time to relax and prepare for my boys. There was no time to prepare. We literally checked in, changed clothes and inhaled a sandwich at the hotel. Panic started to set in as we were leaving The Venetian as the AARP conference was just getting out. All I could see was a line a mile long to exit the hotel garage. My mind was pushed back to work in Seattle where I am always trapped behind some "blue haired" lady who drives 2mph in our garage. Probably the smartest thing I did on this trip was rent a car for the night to take us to the UNLV stadium. I started realizing that it was about 15 miles outside of Las Vegas and we might have a problem with getting a cab after the show. I did hear that it took some people 2 hours and $200 to get back (bad karma on the taxi drivers).
We started towards the stadium and struggled with the directions. I love the amazing race so I quickly switched into the mode of stranded tourist looking for my next clue box. I noticed all of the town cars and limos heading in one direction, so we followed and lucked out. We arrived about 15 minutes before the Black Eyed Peas started. The weather was about 70 degrees, no clouds in the sky and it felt magical. The stage, the sound, the vibe, it was honestly perfect. We had general admission tickets and did our best to get as close as we could. My friend Lucy and her sisters stood in line at 10am to get into the inner circle of the stage. Her photos are amazing and fill me with jealousy. My husband loves me, but he doesn't love me enough to stand in line for 8 hours just to get a wrist band and wait another 4 hours for U2 to go on.
Do I look excited?
When the Black Eyed Peas played I was sort of surprised by my knowledge of their tunes. Like, I knew the lyrics, almost all of them. I know they are popular, but this aging brain of mine is warped a bit by the music "the kids" listen to. They were seriously fun and Kent and I probably looked at each other for the next two weeks and sang Boom Boom Pow, gotta get that boom boom boom any chance we could. As they played their last song the crowd started getting crazy. Piling in and driving themselves towards the stage. My 5'2" stature proved to not be the winning height as I barely could see anything except the guys neck in front of me.
Hard to tell, but we were pretty close. Can you see the little image of Bono?
My boys would not disappoint though as their stage had the biggest screen that was 360 degrees and I was able to see everything. When the band came on it was a weird feeling, sort of like, am I here, is this really happening. I was jumping up and down and felt free for the first time in a long time. I've been emotionally bogged down for awhile with weight gain and no pregnancy. This U2 show sort of jump started me back into my old self.
The show was amazing. Like honestly, I probably cried 5x. I am an emotional wreck from the clomid and you tack on my favorite band since 1987 (holy shit I am getting old) and there is bound to be some emotions. I loved how my husband endured my stress about getting the tickets, flying to Las Vegas and putting up with 40,000 other super fans. The show could not have been better. I knew within two guitar strums by The Edge what the next song was and the superfan in front of me would high five me with delight. The only downer was feeling like I was going to be crushed at any point and the fact that you couldn't leave to get something to drink or use the bathroom. Oh, unless you have a penis as the boys in front of me proceeded to pee into water bottles during the show. I thought they were smoking marijuana (I crack myself up), as they were acting so shady and covering one another, but nope, they were urinating. Nothing like bottles of piss around your legs to put a nervous damper on the evening. What if in one of my fits of fandom I jumped on the bottle and urine was sent flying everywhere? Lucky for us, that didn't happen.
See the bottle that looks like Mt. Dew...that's NOT Mt. Dew!
After the show we left and had a very very late dinner. We gambled a bit and went to bed. Our suite was fabulous and a king sized bed awaited us, hallelujah. Oh, I can not wait to move so that we may get the luxurious king sized bed we are so craving. The following day we woke up super late and went to find something to eat at 1:00pm. We were both starving and sort of out of it. We walked around the Venetian and pretended like we were still in Italy. Does this look like the Grand Canale (not really) but we did stumble upon Mario Battali's restaurant B & B Ristorante.
Oh it was so yummy. Here is a picture of our starter cheese course.
I thought I had died and gone to heaven...truffled honey and the best blue cheese I've ever had. Brandy marinated cherries and goat cheese, I'm hungry just thinking about it. Once we finished eating we walked around to some of the other hotels and then sat outside at Mandalay Bay and had over priced cocktails. I was trying to look trendy but really, a pony tail doesn't get you far.
I was fortunate enough to hook up with best friend from childhood, Lucy. She came to the Venetian to chat with us for about 45 minutes and it was great to catch up. Lucy and I use to sit in my basement in Helena MT and blast U2 and Bon Jovi. We were in the 6th grade and preparing ourselves for the next jaunt= Junior High. We would make coffee cake, drink diet Pepsi from a bottle, sun tan and rock out to my dads incredible sound system. The speakers were those super old (but not then) giant beasts that were like 4 feet tall. The bass would shake the house and stress out my dog. It was awesome. Seeing Lucy and her sisters just walked me down memory lane. I didn't have my camera so I am snatching one from her blog. Thanks Loose!
After we chatted with Lucy we headed over to Caesar's Palace to see Bette Midler. Again, how awesome is my husband to sit in a venue with Bette's fans...as she calls them, the Gay's, the Jews and the old hippies. The show was hilarious. I loved how many times she made fun of Celine Dion and Cher and the rest of the city. She gets it, she is a total performer and was worth every cent. We stayed at Ceasars to eat at Bobby Flay's restaurant Mesa Grill. My husband is not a dare devil with food but I felt like he should have earned a gold star for ordering the duck taco! Woo hoo to Kent, the man who only eats 4 vegetables. After our late night dinner we left the show and sort of walked around to the various casinos. Vegas is so deceiving and gigantic. You think something is a block away, but it is like a mile. My dogs were barking constantly so we returned to our hotel and chilled out there.
Sunday morning I woke up before Kent and read a little. Then I watched some TV and I finally pitched a fit as I wanted to get up for our breakfast at Bouchon. We discovered Bouchon in Yountville on our mini-moon and haven't forgot it. We showered and got dressed and were thrilled to sit outside. I should have taken photos, but I didn't.
We started with their pastry basket as they honestly have the most amazing pastry chefs. What arrived was not a basket, it was an honest to god platter and we devoured it. I had a croque madame and Kent had waffles with bananas and pecans. OH..we were stuffed but happy. We ventured to the pool but there was no way I was going to get into a swim suit. So we walked to other hotels and lost more money. I am lucky in love, but by no means am I lucky with gambling. On one incident I put my money voucher in the $1.00 machine, hit my bet and watched myself lose $40.00 in 3 seconds. I am no high roller, I like my penny machines where I bid high (a whopping 2 dollars). I seriously screamed when I saw $40.00 leave my credits and felt defeated. I laugh about it now as the game I played was called Keeping Up With The Joneses. Well apparently that wasn't going to happen in Vegas. The rest of the day we hung out and then met Kent's cousin and her family for dinner. We had a nice time and it was good to meet some of Kent's family, as he has so little. Plus their son cracked me up. He was like this very mature 12 year old, like almost too mature. Nothing like a 12 year old kid looking at you and saying things like, "this is the best chicken Parmesan I have ever had" or his quizzing on "what types of shows have you seen while you are in town?" I honestly thought he might pull out a pipe at one point and start smoking and order a scotch on the rocks.
Monday we found ourselves packing and returning to dreary wet Seattle. Vegas is this really weird place. Like I'm not quite wealthy enough, not skinny enough but I'm definitely not on the trashier end either. I think it is what you make of it. We enjoyed the chill out time we had together, seeing my friend and my boys. It was worth every stupid penny I lost! Which by the way we did win some of our lost money back at the airport because how can you sit and watch CNN when Wheel of Fortune is beckoning your call.
