Taking Care of Myself

This topic came up in my session with a therapist that I have been seeing for some time. There are days that I show up and wonder what we will discuss and today was one of those days. I'm tired of talking about my weight or talking about the question of when I will get pregnant or how my job at times is ridiculous. Today was a good day though because we both sort of looked at these topics and noted what was in my control and what wasn't. Here is some hopeful decisions I have made.

1) Weight. I'm blowing up like a hot-air balloon. I'm embarrassed to admit that I could be a linebacker with the Seattle Seahawks. As I've been increasing my amount of Metformin I have also been increasing my carbs as it is the only thing that helps with the side effects of nausea and crazy bad belly. I'm frustrated as I need to take Metformin, but I also need to lose weight. So I just booked an appointment with a nutritionist to discuss PCOS, insulin resistance and getting pregnant. I have read so many books, but I'm really needing some support and I hope this will help jump start a better relationship with food and my body.

2) Today is my last day of Clomid. Yeah! Then we have an ultrasound on Saturday the 27th and hopefully an IUI on the 28th. All I can control is that I show up at the right time of my appointment and take the appropriate medication. That's it. I can't control if I ovulate, hopefully Clomid will help me with that. I also can't control when I will get pregnant. I'm going to do my best to stop the stressing and to focus on taking care of myself and pregnancy will come one way or another.

3) Holidays. As a child I had a wonderful time with my family and our gigantic extended family. As the years have passed though the holidays are increasingly more stressful and filled with little joy. I am not going to let this happen though to my holiday with Kent. I may struggle when I am with my parents etc, but that doesn't mean that Kent and I can't enjoy our own private holiday time. Kent and I are going to be in a little protective bubble this year during the holidays. I'm staying away from drama and searching out the happiness that is around me. We have many fun things planned including the Seattle Men's Chorus and the Rockettes.

Tonight I plan on hopefully going to the gym and hitting the treadmill. I'm also feeling like a cold is brewing so possibly I will sit on the sofa and watch the office and laugh with my husband. Either way, I'm taking care of myself.